In my final piece on gentle parenting your stakeholders, I’ll explain why you should model the behavior you expect from them. This isn’t about giving them a checklist or requirements form to fill out; instead, it’s about applying the Golden Rule we learned as children: treat others the way you want to be treated. While it may not always guarantee perfect collaboration, most people appreciate kindness and are doing their best.
Below, I’ve outlined three ways to model effective collaboration and enhance your role as a partner.
- Address Concerns: The most effective way to handle concerns is to address them as soon as they come up. Acknowledge the issue without taking sides, choosing a side can lead to conflicts and put you in a difficult position. You wouldn’t want someone jumping to conclusions about you, so try to be open-minded in these types of situations. Instead, ask open-ended questions to better understand the root of the concern. Often, what seems like a single issue is actually the result of multiple smaller grievances that have accumulated. Avoid being a middleman and, when possible, work with all parties involved to identify the core conflict and resolve it together. While not every issue will have a perfect solution, addressing concerns promptly can help reduce stress and maintain harmony. It might be tempting to ignore them, but letting them fester will only cause more issues down the road. When your partners see that you address concerns promptly and fairly, they will trust that you genuinely have their best interests in mind and will be more likely to take your concerns seriously as well.
- Set Clear Expectations: Sticking to our Golden Rule, if you were unsure about your tasks or action items, you'd appreciate someone providing that information kindly, rather than reacting with frustration. Remember that different companies and industries may have varying expectations, so others might not immediately know who owns what in the process or partnership. Approach the situation from their perspective (genuinely, not sarcastically). Consider what information would be helpful, outline it clearly, and send it via email for easy reference. Clearly defining expectations and ownership is one of the best ways to ensure they know what to expect from working with you. In future situations where you may not have all the answers, they will remember how you handled similar situations and how you treated them.
- Brainstorm Win-Win Solutions: It’s important to show that you have both your partners' interests and your teams' needs in mind. The best Business Analysts and Project Managers I’ve worked with are transparent about what's needed from both sides. If you expect the business to bring potential challenges to the proposal, you should approach the table with the same openness. Having worked with devs, admins, data analysts, and more, I've learned that there are always limitations, technical debt, and conflicting work to consider. Understand what can and cannot be done from both a process and technical standpoint, then evaluate and negotiate a solution that works for everyone. This isn’t just about solving technical requirements but representing both the business and the team delivering the work. Finally, confirm that all parties understand the solution and ensure it is beneficial for both your partners and technical teams.
This is for my fellow Mac BAs out there. Have you ever been screen sharing and had an unexpected message pop up? We've all been there—every single one of us has faced that embarrassing moment at least once (hopefully not just me). Whether it's a negative comment or just plain nonsense, it's definitely not how you want to be perceived when presenting.
Before any call, switch on your "Focus" mode. This handy feature prevents any unwanted messages from interrupting your presentation, except for those you've allowed. It's also great for deep work or writing requirements. You can even customize different “Focus” settings to filter which messages come through. For example, I have a "In a Meeting" focus that blocks all messages, while my "Fitness" focus lets messages from my best friends and husband come through.
"Where We Go Wrong with Collaboration" - Rob Cross (Harvard Business Review)
In the first section of this article I took note of this insightful advice: “The bursts of satisfaction that you get from accomplishing something can be addictive, preventing you from focusing your energy where it is needed most: the work where you add the greatest and most distinctive value.”
