[part two] The Perils of Ambivalence

We explore the perils of ambivalence, that stuck-in-between feeling that keeps you living in a rut rather than blazing new pathways.

If you've read [part one] you know that the first of the three perils of ambivalence is forever asking “how?” rather than getting in action, creating positive energy toward the direction of your dreams.

The second peril of ambivalence often manifests as “I can’t” when in fact the true statement would more aptly be “I won’t.”

This may be hard to swallow, but to truly confront and move beyond this peril of ambivalence, you must start facing the hard truths. 

And lastly, that the third peril of ambivalence is ignoring the fact that not deciding is still a decision.

 When we are wrought with ambivalence, thinking, “I might just get to it someday, tomorrow, next week...” we are lulling ourselves into the feigned notion that we are moving toward our fullest expression, when in fact we are simply mulling it over.

 All of these ramifications of ambivalence impact our lives and drain our energy.

Now we will take a deeper dive into the perils of ambivalence.

We will begin addressing the degree ambivalence is masking deeper questions and concerns about ourselves, our lives, our capabilities and even our faith and relationship with God.

Whoa – now that’s deep, isn’t it?

Yes, that’s right – deep is the only path I know to true transformation.

Ambivalence – the constant questioning of an act or decision such that we stay stuck in INACTION – often masks deeper existential angst that you feel and have yet to uncover.

Unable to get beyond ambivalence? There are places you need to look.

Let me show you three of them, with a sincere hope that reading these will help you discern a deeper understanding of the ambivalence in your life and help you to move forward with strength, clarity, and faith.

1

The first really deep question masked with ambivalence relates to the importance of the change you are avoiding.

Whatever action you may be contemplating, yet are stuck in ambivalence, you must address the degree it has a depth of meaning for you.

Most people are not inclined to go out and rock the boat in life for an unknown – unless it has a resounding calling within.

I experienced this for years before I finally embarked on a career change from the comfort of my coaching and psychotherapy practice to becoming a full-time speaker, author and trainer.

If you truly align with the calling of your heart and soul, the pounding of the calling becomes deafening.

An action that will bring about change in your life will only occur when you feel that the pain of not acting outweighs the comfort of staying the same.

2

The second deeper question often masked with ambivalence is, “Can I do it?" 

I am sure you have wondered sometimes: "Do I have what it takes? Am I going to be able to pull this off when I have no clue where to begin?”

These are valid questions that keep most people from ever taking the first step.

They reveal inner insecurity, lack of confidence, and fear of being tested in new and bigger ways.

What Life wants to birth through you must come forth.

It is the deeper callings of the heart that you were born to make manifest in this world – not for you, but in fact, for the world.

We are all here participating in the process of the evolution of humanity and the more you are conscious about your participation, the more you are contributing to the growth of the whole.

3

The third vital question that is masked by ambivalence is “Will I be ok?"

This question goes deeper than the personal “Do I have what it takes?”

This one relates to personal safety – not your physical safety per se, but your “ontological safety.”

It is this question that gets to the heart of your faith.

Do you truly believe that we live in a benevolent universe in partnership with a loving, beneficent God?

Moving out of and beyond your ambivalence, fundamentally, requires a leap of faith. 

 It is no small matter to step out of your current identity and invite change

It requires that you believe in the goodness of life itself and that you are being guided to your highest and best.

I work every day with people who want to create change in their lives.

I see these patterns repeated in every single one of them.

It is why I am so humbled and moved each time someone decides to get beyond the complacency of ambivalence and move into new and uncharted expressions in life.

There are no guarantees to a quick and easy path to success with the changes you long for in your life, but one thing is for certain, doing something will feel better than languishing your precious life energy inside the perils of ambivalence.