Part of History, Forever Present.

Every year, March is designated as Women's History Month, a time to recognize the contributions of a group that deserves praise every day of the year.

This particular month’s recognition calls me to pause and makes me reflect in a way I’ve never had to before. I pause and reflect because my mother (77) was laid to heavenly rest on February 20, 2024.

I reflect in this moment because she was one of my first examples of real leadership. My mother Aufwiedersehen “Vete” Agboka was a woman that was driven to excel and advance, not for herself, but for others.

My mother’s documented eulogy only lightly covered her life experiences from growing up in the segregated deep south to her international living, her career moves and her domestic family life in the US.

My mother was a leader from a young age. She led with intentionality, professionalism and purpose. She had many accomplishments and among them, achieved many “firsts”: The first child to…, first Black and first woman to excel in academics and business; far too many to list. She demanded and gave respect. She knew where she came from and knew where she was going. She knew who she was, and was not interested in being something she was not. She walked with humility and dignity, modesty with pride.

She was so disciplined and orderly. From her finances to the cleanliness of her home. And as rigid as that may sound, she was funny, empathetic, inclusive and inspiring. As an elite in understanding situational leadership, she and my father raised my brother, sister and I, and she kept a revolving door of welcoming extended family into her home to live for months and years at a time.

Growing up as a child in New Orleans, LA, she excelled in academics from grade school to high school to college and then graduate school, catapulting her career in healthcare where she became Director for the Macomb, Oakland Regional Center in Oakland County, Michigan. As a dietitian, she led teams of healthcare professionals to support the development of health and well-being of thousands of ill, disabled, elderly, and otherwise less fortunate people, providing them with proper dietary support.

Not only was my mother a leader in the workplace. She was also a leader at home and in her family.? She was the second oldest of seven children. She was determined to show her siblings how to listen and lead in the right way; while my grandparents worked.? Her sisters and brothers often viewed her as a second mother because of the way she led and cared for them as children, even into adulthood.

My mother led and taught life skills, faith, honesty, etiquette, household chores, frugality, how to earn, invest and save money. She taught us there were times to lead and times to follow. She had many sayings that pertain to leadership. She would say “there’s a time to be a lion and there’s a time to be a lamb - time to speak up and time to be quiet”. She had funny sayings and quotes when she looked at leaders and people of authority speaking on subjects where she questioned their analysis, intentions and truths.? I can recall her often quoting Abraham Lincoln: “It is better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt”. And when I did not know what to do, she would repeat “This is a good time to learn”.

My mother retired from a prosperous corporate career around 2007 to take care of my father after his first stroke. She was determined ?to keep him home and not have another person care for her husband. She worked day and night, lifting him, cleaning him, providing him medicine and ensuring he was properly cared for. My father is still here today by God‘s grace and thanks to my mother’s tenacious love.?

The last three years of her life she fought colon cancer. She had advanced to stage 4 early. She said ‘quitting’ wasn’t in her vocabulary. Cancer was rigorous and hard on her. She went to chemo every other week and it made her sick. She continued to have a strong will to live for her family. We wanted her to be around but the Lord had a better plan that we now have to accept. Rest in peace Momma, “Aufwiedersehen”, until we meet again.

I am grateful for my leadership journey. I am reminded that leadership development started at home with my leading mother. The responsibility, understanding and acceptance of leading others, doing the right thing even when it seems hard, finding the integration of work and home, and living up to the duty, privilege and responsibility of the title you carry.

?So, this Women’s History Month, Momma, I want to thank you for being one of the most important leaders in my life.

?Please join me in saluting all the women that have contributed to you and your leadership, as they are part of history, but forever present.?