Part 93: Verbal and Written Pitches

There have been many questions of late to The Script Mentor regarding the art of pitching. They have come from producers, screenwriters, and even novelists. I quickly learned that many people define a "pitch" differently, therefore they prepare their pitches differently.

A pitch can be comprised of many tools from the proverbial toolbox of writers: a logline, a query letter, a synopsis, a treatment, a TV Bible, or simply an introductory letter. However, pitches boil down to two sets of delivery:

The verbal pitch and The written pitch.

Several years ago, I had a very important telephonic pitch to make to a team of producers. The purpose of the pitch was to discuss the potential future plans for one of my award- winning screenplays. The meeting was scheduled and re-scheduled multiple times (on their end) over several weeks; it was always something, from power outages to pets going to hospitals and even a death in the family.

As each meeting approached the set time, allowing for the changing time zones (the call was placed through several different countries over two continents), I refreshed my notes on the art of pitching, and wasn't at all nervous about the call. I felt I knew the story cold; hell, I WROTE the damn thing. I sang the National Anthem at a New York Knicks basketball game - I can certainly handle a phone call. Even though the call was made from my home office, I made sure I dressed in a casual, but professional, style to make it FEEL like an in-person meet-and-greet. I had plenty of caffeine to keep me going and closed the office door to keep my cockatiel, Sydney, from clamoring out of jealousy for me paying attention to someone other than her.

The call was placed, and when the pitch started, I felt like Nolan Ryan.

I emerged forty minutes later feeling more like Meg Ryan.

(Okay, so it's NOT Meg Ryan, but you get the point...)

I blew it, and I knew it. I was angry...at myself.

I didn’t know my story down, at least not the way it should have been known for a pitch session. The pitch itself took less than five minutes, but the stammering, the indecisiveness, and the lack of confidence and clarity made it drag out longer.

Afterwards, in review, when the producers and I discussed the actual pitch itself, one asked;

“Geno, how do you feel about your execution?”

After a moment of deliberate silence, I replied;

“The way I feel, I'd be for it.”

I realized that I violated many of my own pitching rules. I had my logline, my synopsis, and even my written pitch in front of me, and I made every effort to NOT read from them, turning them over to prevent myself from doing so. I practiced- a little- and certainly NOT in the way a proper VERBAL pitch should be conducted. I got too wrapped up in meaningless details, and realizing I was running long, jumped around, lost track and before I knew it, was D.O.A.

I guess I felt what so many “pitchers” feel... that the script will sell itself.

Wrong.

I wasn’t prepared for the nearly 20 minutes of personal, friendly chatter I received. In my experience, in most pitch sessions, you have a few minutes to tell the story and you’re out. While I was glad that they wanted to know about me and that they had shown interest in my career, I wasn’t expecting it and it threw me. In retrospect I think that, with all of the previous cancellations, they decided to give me uninterrupted time. I also wasn’t prepared for the event of “forgetting” something. I did not have the bullet points in front of me.

So, I put together a short list of suggestions on preparing for a pitch session, especially as many of you are now considering attending various other pitch events:

1.???Prepare to respond to the request for a SHORT bio about yourself. Avoid anything that may be too controversial and make it relevant to your career and goals.

?2.???Prepare bullet points, with key phrases, that you want to cover in your pitch, but do NOT read from the list. Practice enough to where these points are naturally repeated, not memorized as if reciting a poem for school. Refer to you list if and when you lose track or focus.

?3.???Start with the title, logline, genre and time setting. Make sure to mention the theme of your story as well.

?4.???After describing the main characters, set up the story from your ACT ONE, describe the “impossible challenge” your character faces from the end of ACT TWO, and provide a specific ENDING to the story. If it involves an intricate twist, you don’t necessarily have to give it away, as long as you conclude the story and keep it compelling.

?5.???In review, mention the title, genre and theme again in closing.

?6.???Do NOT mention any “dream casting” unless asked, and do NOT compare your story to another movie unless asked. Avoid the “mash-ups”, if possible.

?7.???Don’t bog down in the details.

?8.???Concentrate on “trailer” scenes.

?9.???Keep a smile on your face throughout. Smiles can be “heard” through telephone pitches, as well.

10.?Above all, have confidence. You’ve gotten this far. You’re not asking for a donor organ. You’re telling YOUR story that THEY have already expressed an interest in.

?This is clearly a “learned” technique, and one that takes practice. So- practice! Practice with family members, in front of the webcam, to those in your writer's group, to someone in line at Starbucks, to the doctor checking your prostrate.

The WRITTEN PITCH generally comes in the form of a query letter. In the past, we discussed the new standard format in query letters, which include emphasizing your "hooks", a brief synopsis and your writer's bio.

One of MY screenwriting mentors-?Chuck Hustmyre- has a solid query letter format that he's been using over the years, resulting in half a dozen produced (spec) screenplays and countless of option deals.

He refers to it as:

THE DIRTY DOZEN: Rules for Querying (The Written Pitch)

Selling a screenplay is like drawing a map on water. As soon as you draw it, it's gone. No one can follow that path, not even the person who drew it. Timing and luck are just as important as talent. And persistence. I can't emphasize that enough. You have to be persistent. Here is what I suggest. It worked for me. It might work for you.

1. Subscribe to IMDb Pro.?You can't contact people if you don't know how to reach them.

2. Find producers who make movies like the ones you write in terms of genre and budget.?Forget about querying agents, studios, and big production companies. They won’t deal with you. Trust me. Be realistic and aim for producers with recent credits in the low- to mid-budget range. Those are your targets.

3. Craft a dynamite logline for your script (see Geno for professional assistance in this area, as he is a master at it).?Make it one sentence, 30 words or less. Use active voice and dynamic verbs, try to open the sentence with the protagonist instead of an introductory clause. Don’t bury the lead.

4. Write a killer query letter.?I suggest using my five-paragraph format L.T.C.W.C. The mnemonic device I use to remember the five paragraphs is, “Linda Takes Coffee With Cream.” The letters stand for Logline, Title, Comparables, Writer, Close.

5. Email your query to your target list of producers.?The subject line of your query should always be the title of your screenplay. Don’t put the title in quotation marks. NEVER put the word “query” in your subject line. It will get your query deleted unread.

6. Personalize the query by putting the person’s name in the body of the email, e.g., “Jim” or “Mr. Smith.”?The movie business is fairly informal, so I usually just use the person’s first name. If you have to send the email to a company’s general email address such as “[email protected], then try to find a person’s name and include it in the subject line before your title, such as, “Jim Smith - TITLE.” (I always write the title in ALL CAPS.

7. Don’t send queries on Monday or Friday.?People in the movie business hardly work as it is, so don’t let your query get buried with all the other junk that comes in over the transom during the standard Hollywood “four-day weekend.”

8. Create a list of producers who respond to your query even if they just say “thanks but no thanks.”?Because now they’ve heard of you, and you are starting to build your network. Send a query for your next script to that person. The movie business, like most businesses, is based on personal connections and networking. I started out with zero connections and now I have scores of solid contacts with producers, directors, distributors, and foreign sales companies. You can build a Hollywood network even if you live thousands of miles from LA.

9. Understand that sending cold queries to people you don’t know is the worst possible way to sell a script.?But if you don’t live in LA and don’t have connections in the movie business, it’s probably the only path open to you. You fight with the weapons you have, not the weapons you wish you had. You might only get one response from a hundred queries, but one contact is how you start a network.

10. When you get a request for a script, send it as an attached PDF file with a simple note, something like, “Jim, thanks for getting back to me.?Here’s a copy of my new script TITLE. I look forward to hearing from you.” Nothing else. Don't add in any new elements to the conversation. Don’t give them a second chance to say no. After two or three weeks, you can send a follow up note. Make it casual, something like, “Jim, I just wanted to follow up on my script TITLE and find out where it was in your reading stack. Thanks.” If you don’t get a response to your follow-up, don’t send another email. But keep that person’s name for new queries for new scripts.

11. Don't get too excited that a producer asked for your script.?That is not a sign that you are 75% of the way to a sale, or 50%, or even 25%. A producer asking to read a script is an important first step in the process, but it's one step out of a hundred to a produced movie. Half the people who ask for a script won't read it. Of those who do read it, probably half again won't bother to respond. And almost all of the rest will give you a canned response along with a pass. Be persistent and...

12. ABQ – Always Be Querying.?Keep finding new producers and sending them queries. Write new scripts and send new queries. You need a dozen bullets in your gun (or a dozen arrows in your quiver if you don’t like guns). One script is never enough.

Modify it as you see fit. This works for agents, managers, and producers,

EXAMPLE:

Title (page count and genre):?In a stand-alone one-sentence paragraph give the title of your screenplay, the page count, and the genre.?

"My new screenplay is a?105-page?romantic comedy called?The Bride of Freddy." (A standard page count lets the person know you’re not a numbskull.)

Comparables:?List comparable works; preferably huge moneymakers.

"Comparable films include 'TAKEN',?'MAN ON FIRE'?and?'DIE HARD'."?

Writers Bio:?List any produced or published credits or big contest wins or high placements you have. Remember, your target is an experienced agent or producer. Do not include things like getting an "A" on a creative writing paper in college or high school.

*If you don’t have credits, leave this section out. Never admit to being a newbie.

Close: Always close by asking directly, "Can I send you a copy of [TITLE]?"?A question begs an answer. Don't say you hope to hear from them. You pray you'll hear from them. None of that. That sounds wimpy. Be confident. Be professional.

• If you email your query, put the screenplay title in the subject line.?DO NOT PUT THE WORD “QUERY” IN THE SUBJECT LINE.
• NEVER?send a query longer than half a page. William Shakespeare said, "Brevity is the soul of wit” and he was right.
• ?NEVER?mention copyright or WGA registration. It marks you as an amateur.

SAMPLE EMAIL QUERY LETTER?(Remember, do not put "Query" in the subject line.)

Joe Smith (or Joe or Mr. Smith):

"A troubled detective strangles a woman and blames her murder on the serial killer he’s hunting, but the killer discovers the detective’s secret and threatens to expose him."

My new screenplay is a 105-page crime thriller called?A KILLER LIKE ME.

Comparable films include?Se7en, Silence of the Lambs,?and?Zodiac.

This script placed second in the Hacks Galore Screenplay Contest, and a previous script I wrote was a quarter finalist in the Desperate Screenwriter’s Fellowship Competition.

?Can I send you a copy of A KILLER LIKE ME?

?Sincerely,

?Chuck Hustmyre

SPECIAL NOTES: The above format and sample is for a writer with few, if any, credits. If you have good credits, change the order of the paragraphs to:?WRITER, TITLE, LOGLINE, COMPARABLES, and?CLOSE.

Mnemonic: “Writers take lingering creative catnaps.”

Mr. Smith:

I wrote the Lionsgate movies?"END OF A GUN"?and?"HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN".?My new screenplay is a 105-page crime thriller called?A KILLER LIKE ME.

"A troubled detective strangles a woman and blames her murder on the serial killer he’s hunting, but the killer discovers the detective’s secret and threatens to expose him."

Comparable films include?Seven, Silence of the Lambs,?and?Zodiac.

Can I send you a copy of?A KILLER LIKE ME?

Sincerely,

Chuck Hustmyre

WRITER'S BIO:?Mr. Scala spent 24-plus years in the Hollywood community and was the?Executive Director for the?72nd Annual Academy Awards,?as well as?The Soul Train Awards,?The Grammys,?The Blockbuster Video Awards Show?and?The Saturn Award Show.?He is writing the biopics of early rock pioneer?Jimmie F. Rodgers,?Motown star?Tammi Terrell?and iconic folk singer and philanthropist?Harry Chapin- all while continuing to mentor new writers and self-published authors. He recently completed working on a screenwriting project with?Liam Hemsworth?and?Samuel L.?Jackson.?

Other projects include the adaptation of the paranormal?Sally Barnard book, "Call Me Zena"; the adaptation of the crime novel?"The Burning Man" by Solange Ritchie;?collaborating on?Eric Wade's "Love on the B-Side";?and?collaborating with film star?Lisa Lavigne on her memoirs "The Deal at the Table".

Geno has three produced feature films:?"Assassin 33 A.D.",?"Black Easter"?and?"The Tombs".?All are currently available on Amazon Prime and Tubi.?