Part 67: The Query Letter- Part II

Screenwriting Myth:?There IS no "query letter standard". Any query letter will do!?Part II

Last week, we discussed the new standard format in query letters, which include emphasizing your "hooks", a brief synopsis and your writer's bio.

One of MY screenwriting mentors- Chuck Hustmyre- has a solid query letter format that he's been using over the years, resulting in half a dozen produced (spec) screenplays and countless of option deals.

THE DIRTY DOZEN: Rules for Querying

Selling a screenplay is like drawing a map on water. As soon as you draw it, it's gone. No one can follow that path, not even the person who drew it. Timing and luck are just as important as talent. And persistence. I can't emphasize that enough. You have to be persistent. Here is what I suggest. It worked for me. It might work for you.

1. Subscribe to IMDbPro. You can't contact people if you don't know how to reach them.

2. Find producers who make movies like the ones you write in terms of genre and budget. Forget about querying agents, studios, and big production companies. They won’t deal with you. Trust me. Be realistic and aim for producers with recent credits in the low- to mid-budget range. Those are your targets.

3. Craft a dynamite logline for your script. Make it one sentence, 30 words or less. Use active voice and dynamic verbs, try to open the sentence with the protagonist instead of an introductory clause. Don’t bury the lead.

4. Write a killer query letter. I suggest using my five-paragraph format L.T.C.W.C. The mnemonic device I use to remember the five paragraphs is, “Linda Takes Coffee With Cream.” The letters stand for Logline, Title, Comparables, Writer, Close.

5. Email your query to your target list of producers. The subject line of your query should always be the title of your screenplay. Don’t put the title in quotation marks. NEVER put the word “query” in your subject line. It will get your query deleted unread.

6. Personalize the query by putting the person’s name in the body of the email, e.g., “Jim” or “Mr. Smith.” The movie business is fairly informal, so I usually just use the person’s first name. If you have to send the email to a company’s general email address such as “[email protected], then try to find a person’s name and include it in the subject line before your title, such as, “Jim Smith - TITLE.” (I always write the title in ALL CAPS.

7. Don’t send queries on Monday or Friday. People in the movie business hardly work as it is, so don’t let your query get buried with all the other junk that comes in over the transom during the standard Hollywood “four-day weekend.”

8. Create a list of producers who respond to your query even if they just say “thanks but no thanks.” Because now they’ve heard of you, and you are starting to build your network. Send a query for your next script to that person. The movie business, like most businesses, is based on personal connections and networking. I started out with zero connections and now I have scores of solid contacts with producers, directors, distributors, and foreign sales companies. You can build a Hollywood network even if you live thousands of miles from LA.

9. Understand that sending cold queries to people you don’t know is the worst possible way to sell a script. But if you don’t live in LA and don’t have connections in the movie business, it’s probably the only path open to you. You fight with the weapons you have, not the weapons you wish you had. You might only get one response from a hundred queries, but one contact is how you start a network.

10. When you get a request for a script, send it as an attached PDF file with a simple note, something like, “Jim, thanks for getting back to me. Here’s a copy of my new script TITLE. I look forward to hearing from you.” Nothing else. Don't add in any new elements to the conversation. Don’t give them a second chance to say no. After two or three weeks, you can send a follow up note. Make it casual, something like, “Jim, I just wanted to follow up on my script TITLE and find out where it was in your reading stack. Thanks.” If you don’t get a response to your follow-up, don’t send another email. But keep that person’s name for new queries for new scripts.

11. Don't get too excited that a producer asked for your script. That is not a sign that you are 75% of the way to a sale, or 50%, or even 25%. A producer asking to read a script is an important first step in the process, but it's one step out of a hundred to a produced movie. Half the people who ask for a script won't read it. Of those who do read it, probably half again won't bother to respond. And almost all of the rest will give you a canned response along with a pass. Be persistent and...

12. ABQ – Always Be Querying. Keep finding new producers and sending them queries. Write new scripts and send new queries. You need a dozen bullets in your gun (or a dozen arrows in your quiver if you don’t like guns). One script is never enough.

Modify it as you see fit. This works for agents, managers, and producers:

1. Always address it to a specific person, not "Dear Agent" or "Dear Producer.”
2. A mnemonic to help you remember this: “Linda takes coffee with cream.”

Logline: A one-sentence, dynamic synopsis of your story, 30 words or less. Think of the movie descriptions in TV Guide.

EXAMPLE:

• A devoted wife's patience is tested by her husband's unexpected leaps through time;
• An ex-Roman general seeks vengeance against the emperor who murdered his family;
• An obsessed sea captain hunts for the whale that bit off his leg.?

Title (page count and genre): In a stand-alone one-sentence paragraph give the title of your screenplay, the page count, and the genre. EXAMPLE: My new screenplay is a 105-page romantic comedy called The Bride of Freddy. (A standard page count lets the person know you’re not a numbskull.)

Comparables: List comparable works; preferably huge moneymakers.

EXAMPLE: Comparable films include Taken, Man on Fire, and Die Hard.?

WRITER'S BIO: List any produced or published credits or big contest wins or high placements you have. Remember, your target is an experienced agent or producer. Do not include things like getting an "A" on a creative writing paper in college or high school.

*If you don’t have credits, leave this section out. Never admit to being a newbie.

Close: Always close by asking directly, "Can I send you a copy of [TITLE]?" A question begs an answer. Don't say you hope to hear from them. You pray you'll hear from them. None of that. That sounds wimpy. Be confident. Be professional.

SPECIAL NOTES: I never snail mail query letters. I email them.

• If you email your query, put the screenplay title in the subject line. DO NOT PUT THE WORD “QUERY” IN THE SUBJECT LINE.
• NEVER send a query longer than half a page. William Shakespeare said "Brevity is the soul of wit” and he was right.
• ?NEVER mention copyright or WGA registration. It marks you as an amateur.

SAMPLE EMAIL QUERY LETTER (Remember, do not put "Query" in the subject line.)

Joe Smith (or Joe or Mr. Smith):

"A troubled detective strangles a woman and blames her murder on the serial killer he’s hunting, but the killer discovers the detective’s secret and threatens to expose him."

My new screenplay is a 105-page crime thriller called A KILLER LIKE ME.

Comparable films include Se7en, Silence of the Lambs, and Zodiac.

This script placed second in the Hacks Galore Screenplay Contest, and a previous script I wrote was a quarter finalist in the Desperate Screenwriter’s Fellowship Competition.

?Can I send you a copy of A KILLER LIKE ME?

?Sincerely,

?Chuck Hustmyre

SPECIAL NOTES: The above format and sample is for a writer with few, if any, credits. If you have good credits, change the order of the paragraphs to: WRITER, TITLE, LOGLINE, COMPARABLES, and CLOSE.

Mnemonic: “Writers take lingering creative catnaps.”

Mr. Smith:

I wrote the Lionsgate movies End of a Gun and House of the Rising Sun. My new screenplay is a 105-page crime thriller called A KILLER LIKE ME.

"A troubled detective strangles a woman and blames her murder on the serial killer he’s hunting, but the killer discovers the detective’s secret and threatens to expose him."

Comparable films include Seven, Silence of the Lambs, and Zodiac.

Can I send you a copy of A KILLER LIKE ME?

Sincerely,

Chuck Hustmyre

WRITER'S BIOS: Chuck Hustmyre spent 22 years in law enforcement and is a retired federal agent. He served as a SWAT member and sniper. In addition to writing screenplays, Chuck is also the author of seven books, both fiction and nonfiction. He lives with his wife, Kristie, and their Australian cattle dog, who goes by the name TAZ.

Geno Scala spent 22-plus years in the Hollywood community, and was the?Executive Director?for the?72nd Annual Academy Awards, as well as?The Soul Train Awards,?The Grammys,?The Blockbuster Video Awards Show?and?The Saturn Award Show.?

He is also developing biopic projects of rock pioneer?Jimmie F. Rodgers,?Motown star?Tammi Terrell?and iconic folk?singer?Harry Chapin- all while continuing to mentor hundreds of new writers and self-published authors.

Geno has two screenplays produced and currently on Amazon Prime;?"Assassin 33 A.D."??and?"The Tombs", and is the?Executive Script Consultant?of a?major motion picture?scheduled to begin filming in Australia, Spring of 2022.