Part 3 of 3: Overcoming Adversity - Don’t Survive It, Thrive In It!

A Foundation for Continual Success

The ability to consistently and effectively face, overcome, and learn from adversity doesn't happen blindly, it takes a plan. In many areas in life we seek opportunities to learn lessons, and/or at least take a class or get training to improve our skills in something. Why don't we do the same with adversity? Often, we blindly go through life, making similar mistakes over and over again, without any lesson learned or knowledge gained. Each and every day offers us an opportunity to learn, grow, and evolve into the people we were meant to become. It takes a fertile mind that is aware, and willing to learn. A good solid process can come in handy too. Simply put, most people don't have a process or a method for overcoming life's trials and tribulations.

Life is a Classroom---Are You in Attendance?

The bottom line is that learning from life’s experiences—both the good and the bad—sets the framework for future success. These experiences will serve a specific purpose for later things to come and provide the ability to access logical, rather than emotional responses to situations (as mention in Part 2 of this series). The key is to be prepared to analyze situations as you face them going forward. And, if possible, revisit past situations to apply what you’ve learned. I use a simple 4-Step process to analyze adverse situations in my life. This process helps me learn from life's difficulties, so I can be prepared better to avoid future instances, and/or be prepared to handle better than I did in the past---it's a process to help me evolve into the human being I was meant to become. I also use this process with my clients as well. I call it The Situational Debrief Process.

The Situational Debrief Process

The Situational Debrief is a process for documenting, and analyzing adverse situations, both past & present. The goal is to capture and absorb learnings from adverse experiences to prepare you for future scenarios. In other words, learn and grow from an adverse situation.

If you don’t have a significant reservoir experiences or relevant training to rely on, you may want to begin by documenting important past situations that reoccur as issues (for example, fearing change, dealing with a difficult person, interviewing for a job, panicking in the face of any adversity, etc.). You will want to recreate those experiences, analyze and view them positively, or at least as a learning tool to prepare you for future situations. Use this same process to learn from new situations you face. Here is a four-step Situational Debrief Process for journaling your findings for each experience:

• Step #1: Capture the Situation. Write down your current or past situation. Don’t stop with simply writing down the event. Get yourself to relive the moment. Put yourself in that spot, despite the difficulty...and yes, it most likely will draw on emotions. You’ll want to capture facts about the event, so you can begin to think about it logically, not emotionally. A past situation for me was called my Summer From Hell, and you can read about that in my past Linked In article archive or in my book In Defense of Adversity.
• Step #2: Review the Outcomes. Write down what the actual outcome of the situation is or was, whether good, bad, or indifferent. You want to identify what was adverse vs. desirable. This allows you to reconnect to both the good and bad of the event. In addition, it can help you recognize both the emotional trigger, and emotional responses if they occurred. This allows you to connect dots if handled emotionally (freeze/flight/fight), between what caused the response, and what was the response. The more you can recognize, and connect the dots, the more likely you can recognize this habit in the future.
• Step #3: Define Key Learnings. Most importantly, capture what you learned from the event. This is the key to enabling you to step back from the emotion and logically analyze your situation, recreating positive experiences from something otherwise considered negative. Capture what you learned. What was good? What was hurtful, but not tragic? Did you learn anything at the time, and if not, what can you learn from it now? If there is some sort of foundational training, you can fall back on those as well. As an example, if you’re in sales and are taught a “sales process” or skill, like handling objections, use this foundational training as the foundation to measure. Did you use the process or not? What did you do well, or not so well-based on the training you received?
• Step #4: Identify Recommended Changes. Once the key learning is identified, think about what you’d do differently the next time. Once again, step away from the emotion of it and think logically. You’ll probably experience emotion as you revisit the situation, but hopefully not so intense that it overrules your rational thought process. The key point of the exercise is to redraw the experience in a positive light for future use in similar situations. Essentially using those learnings for potential future events. You’ve been there before, you can handle it better next time.

A Proven Process—Personally & Professionally

This process does not represent a magic formula created by me. In fact, coaches, leaders, managers have been using a similar process for years. In my first job out of college with Beecham Products, our managers used this process when working with sales reps at all levels. I’ve experienced it as rep, and have used it for over 30 years as a leader, coach and manager, with remarkable success.

Basically, when a sales rep made a call on a customer, the manager would simply observe. Whether the sales rep was using our sales process properly, or not, whether they were doing well with the customer or not, the manager would sit back and simply observe. Then in the call afterward, the manager would lead a coaching debrief, asking the rep what went well and what didn’t. Based on that dialogue, the manager responded accordingly, validating those things that went well, and those things that needed improvement, most often in a positive, upbeat manner. The point was this: Eevery sales call was a learning opportunity, just as every experience in life. An opportunity to teach and reinforce fundamental skills required for success in the job. Each call and coaching debrief prepared us for future calls, strengthening our likelihood for success, and preparing us for future roles in the company.

No Mistakes…Just Learnings

Basically, the sales reps learned through experience, both good and bad. Then they used the same process with their respective teams when they were managers. Essentially, we were creating a reservoir of options and experiences that enabled us to grow and develop skills. And when adversity struck, we fell back on our experiences and training. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve faced obstacles and simply fell back on my experiences, learnings, and training for success…or at least a learning or experience I can add to my reservoir of options.

Lastly this approach worked in spades. Despite that our products at Beecham didn’t carry near the market share of our main competitors, Procter & Gamble, and Colgate, we competed very well against them – all because of our training, and coaching debrief process. We were called “the marines” of the consumer-packaged goods industry. This is essentially the same process for you to use in learning from the adversity in your lives.

Transforming From Coal to Diamonds

Bottom-line this Situational Debrief Process can work for you as well. You must realize that every scenario in our lives' is a learning opportunity to enable us to grow, gain wisdom and evolve while strengthening our resolve for when lightning strikes. Just as pressure transforms a piece of coal into a beautiful shiny diamond, the adversity we face can transform us into the person we were meant to be, and have the life we were meant to live.

About Steve Gavatorta

Steve Gavatorta, is author of the newly released In Defense of Adversity-Turning Your Toughest Challenges Into Your Greatest Success. Now available on Amazon.

Steve is also owner of the Steve Gavatorta Group, specializes in empowering individuals and organizations in identifying, developing, and exceeding performance goals. He is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA), a certified Myers-Briggs practitioner, and accredited to coach and train for Emotional Intelligence (EQ).

For contact information visit www.gavatorta.com