Part 3 — Our power is in our story and how we got here

Black families have histories, significant histories that are all too often lost from one generation to the next because we have had to leave places for economic gain or to escape brutality. Those histories uncover pain and secrets that elders want to forget, not knowing that there is a consequence for future generations not having a sense of how they arrived. This book is a mix of biography refracted from oral history, genealogy research, research about the time periods, geographic locations, culture, and interviews with my mother, Shirley, about her life and everything she could tell me about my Great Great Aunt Daisy and Grandma Shirley. It is also autobiographical, containing my experiences and commentary that bring this story into the present day.

This lack of history leaves a hole in the mental state of our offspring. This book will explore the stories of?my?past to make up for all the stories that have been left half told. Initially, this book was only going to be about the bean pie and how Aunt Daisy created it. As I began to ask about my mother’s past, I began to see that the bean pie was my connector to my history and multiple generations of women: me, my mother, Shirley, my grandmother, Shirley, great-great Aunt Daisy, and a host of elder family members I would soon learn about.

It is important to me to write about the lost story of Aunt Daisy and how she moved from Opelika, Alabama to Chicago, and how she was one of the earliest members of the Nation of Islam. I wanted to write about my grandma and what happened prior to the birth of my Uncle Sweetie and Mother when she was 17 to 19. Was Wilbur Green my actual grandfather? Why did my Grandma treat my Momma differently than her other 5 children from Jessie “Sonny” Boyd? Did anyone know the abuse she endured by his hand? Or that she likely suffered postpartum depression after having baby after baby for nearly seven years? Why was mean sometimes, and can we break that cycle? I had my mother do a genetic test and discovered new family information that helped to explain some issues of my mother’s upbringing but created more questions about my grandmother. I also looked at the research on the trauma of bereaved children. My Grandma lost her mother at three years old. I initially did not understand the ramifications of that loss and how it impacted her entire life.

This book is a tribute to all these incredibly strong women in my family. They endured pain beyond comprehension so that our family can exist today, and my role is to write this so that we can uplift and honor them, transitioning their pain into a hopeful future and forgiving them. I want my children and future generations to know that they are not here by accident. The toil of our ancestors, including their successes and mistakes make us who we are. No one is perfect, but it takes strength to keep going and learn from one generation to the next. I am leaning on that strength myself as I write this book during one of the most challenging times the world has seen.

This is also a cautionary tale for families to document their history so as not to find themselves in a similar position as I, having to fill in the gaps from oral histories and memories, especially for deceased relatives. I have always been a reader of history, especially about successful people and successful families. I have learned that the most and least of us are not relinquished from hardship and struggle. It is how you deal with it that determines one's success. Above all, the four central characters I will write about have overcome tremendous traumas just to get to the south side of Chicago and to Atlanta and Nashville. I have kept the tradition going by continuing to move the family story forward, but also not forgetting to look backward.?Our power is in our story and how we got here. The Bean Pie made me curious. I asked questions about it and about Aunt Daisy which led me to seek a better understanding of my grandmother and my mother. These are the women who raised me, so knowing them better would help me to know myself better and hopefully help the rest of the family know themselves better. The oral traditions were strong, and as I became a Muslim, I learned that there were major holes in the history of the bean pie. Perhaps my family was standing right in the center of it all.

In this series, I will share excerpts and stories from my book, The Bean Pie: A Remembering of our Family’s Faith, Fortitude, and Forgiveness. I hope you enjoyed this post — if you enjoyed it and want to connect join my newsletter on?https://thebeanpie.com ?to get updates on when the next article on LinkedIn/Medium goes live, and also with the link to my book when it publishes in January. If you want to connect, you can reach me here via email at?[email protected] ?or connect with me on social:?https://www.instagram.com/thebeanpiebook/ ?and?https://www.instagram.com/tiffanygreenabdullah .