Part 2: Reflections on Loss and Lessons from My Dad

In the days following Dad's death, we were immersed in planning his funeral. Neighbors and friends came together to mourn and offer their condolences, providing immense support during that difficult time.

Dad and I shared a special tradition: whenever I traveled to a new place, I would bring him a pair of shoes or shirts. One item I had bought but never managed to give him was an Uhuru shirt from Rivatex. My siblings kindly agreed to let him be buried in it, a final gift from me to him.

On September 2nd, we laid him to rest. As I threw soil onto his grave, symbolizing the return to dust, I felt a profound jolt, almost as if a current had passed through my body. I briefly lost consciousness. The pain of his absence persists, the tears still flow, but the lessons and the impact of his life remain with me.

From Dad, I learned five invaluable lessons:

1. Love Your Family Deeply

Dad had a unique relationship with each of his family members. He gave each of us special nicknames and had a song for each of us. My sister was “Njambi,” my brother was “Mukaru,” and I was “Mariru,” his “Mwendwa wakwa Mariru” (a nickname that has become my favorite song). I dont remember my other sisters nick name but she had one too.

Every day, he and Mum would sit together, sharing their day’s experiences and planning for the future. They enjoyed every meal together, demonstrating the importance of family unity.

2. Serve Others Without Expecting Rewards

Dad was known for his generosity and selflessness. Many neighbors spoke of how he had touched their lives in ways I hadn’t known. Some recounted how he’d unexpectedly bought a "bag of cement" for their house construction, even though they hadn’t asked for it. He was a proactive giver, always ready to help. Students shared how he’d bought them "a pen" as they started school, reflecting his commitment to supporting others without seeking recognition.

I recall a time when he was pursued by thieves at midnight after dropping off a student at school, as the student's parents couldn’t afford the transportation themselves.

3. Live a Life That Ensures Your Legacy Lives On

Dad’s life was a testament to living with purpose and integrity. He made sure that his actions and the way he treated others would leave a lasting impact. He touched so many lives. I am reminded of the book title "Who will cry when you die" and for him, the entire community cried, and still misses him deeply.

4. Diligence and Excellence

As a teacher, Dad dedicated himself fully to his profession. He taught with passion and commitment. Additionally, he was a gifted emcee, always ready to host any function in the village. Whatever he undertook, he did it with excellence and dedication.

We grew knowing that anything worth doing gad to be done well. Mediocrity was never an option for any of us. To date, I can't stand it.

5. Die an empty man

One of the greatest comforts during this difficult time was knowing that Dad lived a life fully spent. He had no regrets or debts left unpaid. He dedicated himself entirely to his children and his community, giving everything he had to those he could help. He passed away having done everything that was in his power to do, to help those that he possibly could have helped, having fulfilled his mission and made a meaningful impact in every way he could.

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