Part 2 Police officers Survival Guide

Who’s Who on your team? A beginners guide to home wreckers, gossips and alcoholics.

People are just people, and a team of people are just people thrust together with a common cause. As with any human being we all have good and bad character traits, some are funny, some are scary, some leave you bewildered that they even made it to adulthood alive. I have listed a few of the characters you will meet on your journey, these are not rank specific and don’t think for one minute that just because someone is your Tutor, Sergeant, Inspector or any other rank in the force that they don’t fit into one or more of these groups.

Some of the categories of officers I will discuss may make you think I’m being sexist or misogynistic or ageist, that is not my intention. I also appreciate that some of what is written discusses the darker side of humanity, I am just passing on knowledge about the characters I have met over the years, and although these characters walk amongst us, they are rare, and the majority of your colleagues are great people who will make you welcome and look after you 100%.

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Home wreckers and predators

The Police Force is an adrenaline charged job full of relatively young and fit people, this leads to a highly charged sexual environment. Officers working on the frontline inherit a perception of living in the now, they experience and witness violence and death on a daily basis, they may get killed at work on any given day of their career, so they make the most of every minute of enjoyment that comes their way. This, however, leads to a mixture of a strain of sex addiction and power in both men and women that can easily be considered a mental health condition. They become wired to take what they want because they can, they don’t care about the damage they cause to their own families or the families of their prey. Some of the ladies join the Police because they want to? have sex with Police Officers or they have daddy issues and like older men. Some officers are abusers, as we have seen in recent years in the media, they target naive weaker members of the team and groom them for their own sexual pleasure. They will probably be the shift hero too, making themselves the knight in shining armour who saves you.

?A mix of this environment and time away from partners during long and unsociable shifts often leads to affairs and divorces. Sometimes it’s true love, but frequently it’s just raw sexual tension and You will soon begin to see who these characters are, you will hear the gossips speaking about them, you may even get warned off by someone who has already been victim of them or has seen the devastation they cause. They will manipulate you into social situations, tell you a shift drink starts at 7pm when it actually starts at 8pm, thereby giving them an hour with you before everyone else turns up. Or you will see them continually crew up with the same member of the team, they may even go missing on shift together when they are having sex on duty.

Married officers or those in relationships can spend 60 hours a week in a patrol car with members of the opposite sex, they are in an adrenaline charged environment, relationships build, problems are discussed in their relationships, a bond forms and at times, urges are acted on. I have known of Police Officers with multiple secret relationships going on in the same team, a love triangle which eventually breaks and sends a whole team spinning into division and disorder. Avoid getting entangled in these shenanigans, especially as a student officer, if you get a name for yourself as a home wrecker or just a poor sexual reputation in general this will follow you for your whole career, especially the ladies, men fare better and are chalked up as players, the ladies unfortunately get tarred with a label that sticks with them. I knew of one female officer who had a drunken sexual encounter with a detective in the Police bar when she was a student officer, she was an amazing cop, but people still gossiped about this up until she retired from the force after 30 years’ service.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that this is just a straight white male predator thing. I have dealt with some horrific cases of domestic violence, stalking and harassment where the perpetrators are females and same sex couples. Do not be afraid to challenge bad behaviours within diverse groups, a victim is a victim no matter what their sexual orientation is.

Thief takers

These are by far a minority of Police Officers you will meet; this is a label that every cop aspires to be known by. A thief taker is known as such due to their propensity for frequent quality arrests and convictions. They are out there every shift doing what we all joined to do, locking up the bad guys. They come in early to prepare their uniforms and equipment, they try their hardest to get the best, fastest and most reliable vehicle to aid in their pursuit of offenders. They keep fit and have an air of arrogance about them, a swagger of confidence that comes from knowing they can take on the baddest people in society and come out on top with a suspect in handcuffs. They can do this successfully because they know their streets, they know the criminals, they know who is wanted on warrant. These are the elite proactive team officers and potential Sergeants of the future and fall into an unofficial leadership position on the team. If there is a problem that needs solving or a dangerous suspect needs hunting down, these are the guys that the management call in a, ‘break glass in case of an emergency’ scenario. Sometimes they can push the boundaries of the law to achieve their goals, they are not being corrupt, they stay within the law, but know enough about their powers that they can be creative and apply those powers to a successful arrest. Use these guys as your mentors and role models on the team.

The team hero, aka the cock of the team

Not to be confused with thief takers, these cops started out in life with a lot of the qualities of the thief taker, but they became corrupted by their own arrogance and became lazy, or they abused the title of thief taker for their own gain. Because of their early abilities they often earned the right to become an area car driver, this meant taking young female student officers out on fast car chases and adrenaline fed arrest missions, the girls couldn’t resist them and before long yet another sexual conquest was added to their list of na?ve female student officers.

The team hero will also not want to get involved in the details of Policing, their pen will rarely leave their pocket and they will drift around avoiding menial jobs that are beneath them. However, when there’s a chance to shine out as a hero, they will be there strutting along and making sure everyone knows they are there. After the action they will sink into the background and avoid any paperwork, leaving it to the student officer, saying something like, ‘It’s good for your development’.

The team heroes homelife is usually a complete car crash too, they usually have an alcohol or substance dependence, failing relationships, multiple ex-partners and have made a multitude of poor life decisions. These people are a ticking time bomb that if left to their own devices will fall foul of the Professional Standards Department. I have seen many cops like this lose their jobs for dishonesty, corrupt activity and domestic violence. They begin to think they are untouchable but they get a harsh reality check when they are investigated and are sacked or required to resign.

Virtue signalling career cop

These are by far the most exhausting people you will have to work with, they will usually be very sociable and agreeable to start with, they are astute and they build a layer of allies around them at all times. Their uniform will be adorned with a multitude of badge’s and? pins displaying allegiance’s to diverse groups, rainbows, autism badges, you name a group on the diversity scale, there’s a good chance they have a badge to cover it. Some who wear these badges belong to those diverse groups and have a genuine allegiance, I’m not talking about them. I’m referring to those who are doing it to virtue signal and use it as a vehicle to career progression. I knew of one officer who was desperate for promotion, they knew that the Chief Superintendent in charge of the station was gay, so they decided to join a gay police network and pretended to be gay to enhance their chances of promotion, unfortunately for them they were well known as a straight ‘Home wrecker’ and their plan failed. There are also? supervisors who will frequently be away at conferences or meetings of support to a diverse network. The problem with this was it leaves their team without supervision, so work never got signed off or closed, staff welfare and investigations their team were conducting fell to other supervisors due to their absence. They don’t care, they are climbing the promotion ladder and being a good Police Officer or Sergeant has nothing to do with promotion. To get promoted you have to be politically aware and be noticed by the right people, and the right people, aka ‘king makers’,? are usually at these meetings doing their own fair share of virtue signalling to enhance their own profile. The virtue signaller knows this very well and they will sacrifice their teams welfare to achieve their aim of promotion, nobody will challenge them, because if they did they may themselves be labelled as racist, homophobic, misogynistic or whatever diverse group stood for hater.

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Plodders

These are the back bone of the Police force and by far the majority that you will encounter. These are competent and mature officers who turn up every day of their career and do their job. Plodders, Plod, or old plod is a slang name derived from Enid Blyton’s children’s books with a Police character called PC Plod, Plodding along refers to walking the beat slowly and methodically and getting the job done. These officers are satisfied to serve their whole career as a Police Constable and have no interest in the politics and BS that goes with promotion. The Plodders are usually slightly more mature and have stable families and commitments away from work to focus their minds. They will not break any records, nor will they virtue signal their way through situations, they are more likely to roll their eyes in annoyance at characters who do and give them a wide berth.

What the plodder will do is turn up every day, have very few sick days, support everyone around them, be a good point of advice and mentors to younger team members and they will rarely bring grief or upset to the team.

The team mum and dad

These are usually plodders too; they are usually older and have grown up kids and they gain the title of shift mum and dad due to their parental behaviours towards the team members. They will organise day trips, meals out and orchestrate planned sit down ‘hot food’ for the team on a late shift. If something needs organising they will be there sorting it out, it may be a collection for an officer who is retiring, or supporting team members who are struggling with the stresses of the job, a shoulder to cry on. If you ever have a problem, go to these people, they will fight your corner against bullies, know the best course of action and usually have direct access to a supervisor or support network that can assist you.

The pregnant one

There is a very good chance that you will have one or more ladies pottering around the station in maternity wear. I supervised one station where we thought there was an exploding pregnancy chair, there were 5 officers pregnant at the same time, we had next to no female officers capable of deploying onto the streets. The Police quite rightly protects our colleagues who find themselves pregnant, the risks of letting them out to a public facing role and facing the potential of daily violence are too high to consider as safe. In the early stages they will help with clerical work and general enquiries over the phone, it is in some cases possible for them to take statements from witnesses, but this has to be carefully risk assessed. If you find yourself pregnant, do not hide it because you think you are letting people down. I know you want to support your team and want to be out doing Police work, but losing a baby is one of the most traumatic things that can happen to a human being, is it worth risking an unborn babies life for the sake of locking up a shop lifter?

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Gossips, back stabbers and fake friends

A Police Station is a community of its own where everyone knows everyone and all their business. Gossip is like a currency that is traded and spread around like wildfire. If anything is happening in your life you may as well just put it on the notice board; If someone was having an affair, everyone knows about it! If someone had been in to see the superintendent for a bollocking, everyone knows about it!

Most gossip is harmless and is just a way of passing time in the smoking area, or on a long night shift. It may be speculation about a flourishing romance or the drunk antics of someone at a drinks event, or someone who is? making moves to get promoted, nothing too serious. However, there are some officers who delight in the misfortunes of others and love the power of knowledge about someone else’s life. It is not uncommon for a feeding frenzy from these quarters when someone drops in the shit. Let’s say for example an officer has been arrested or is under investigation, the gossips will blow all the information out of proportion and embellish half-truths in an attempt to assassinate someone’s character. This can even manifest into more complaints against the officer under investigation as the gossip wants to spread their tales. The only reason I can think of for this vindictive behaviour is because the gossip is using others failings to hide their own insecurities and failures, a kind of, look at them failing, not me, who is also failing, kind of situation. These people are career enders, it’s bullying and it can drive their victims to the point of suicide. Avoid joining in on the feeding frenzy and concentrate on your own reputational control. If you live by gossip there is a good chance it will be reversed on you at some point and you or your career may die by gossip.

Also be aware of over friendly creeps who no one else wants to work with, they will make a beeline for a new joiner.? Ask yourself why people won’t work with them? Is it because they’re work shy, or they’re scared to get stuck in and won’t use force when required, or they may just have bad hygiene? Just remember, there is a reason no one wants to work with them.

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The sick lame and lazy…or genuinely broken?

Sickness in any organisation is one of the hardest things to manage, there are so many variables, is it just flu or is it an on duty injury? Has the person caused their own injury or illness through neglect of their health or extreme sports? Some people just decide in the morning not to come in and want to take a duvet day. The duvet day people are dangerous and are not team players, they make the team short staffed and that will mean more work and pressure on the team, it may also mean that someone has to attend a job with no back up. If you are sick, no problem, but if you are the type of person to go off sick because you fancy a day or two off, then you lack the resilience and commitment to your team and you have no place in the Police.

Officers who frequently take time off can be suffering from stress, alcoholism or their life at home is falling apart and they just cannot cope with being at work. If you identify someone like this, or feel that this may be happening to you, then consider getting help, there is no shame in admitting you are struggling and a good supervisor will be able to signpost you to support or be able to set a strategy with your work load to make it more manageable.

Avoid moaners, my biggest frustration when I joined my first team was a hardcore of cops who sat around for the first hour after briefing to moan, the irony was that they were moaning that they didn’t have enough time to get their work done.

Avoid the pity parties too, they are toxic! For example, if you have a number of officers who are on restricted duties for mental health reasons, they can begin to bond together in an unofficial peer support group. Each person will have their own individual issues, but when put together with others with similar issues things begin to magnify; paranoia sets in that the organisation is out to get them, their supervisors are labelled as bullies because they have placed them onto a return to work plan. Although we should always support our colleagues we must also be aware of not being dragged into their mindset and we must consider the demoralising and divisive impact on the team as a whole if we do. These officers are probably suffering due to the stresses of Police work, home life or maybe a specific incident sent them over the edge, understand this and support them, don’t leave them out of things and include them in everything that you can, such as social events, meal times or finding solutions to problems. Just be aware that in their state they can interpret the smallest act as a personal attack on them and they may start resenting the people around them. As a Sergeant I frequently supported colleagues through mental health problems, if they ever lashed out, I did my best to reassure them that I was there to support them and I never took their complaints about me to heart, it was part of their condition and something I had to expect.

I wonder which one of these groups you will eventually fall into? Look back at this chapter every six months, if you see a pattern emerging it may be time to step back and recalibrate before things go too far. It’s never too late to make a fresh start, it’s your career and your reputation.

Police Officers Survival Guide, Available in print, ebook and audiobook too https://amzn.eu/d/e0IMfAq