Parents in Tech: Finding Balance

At the end of the summer, I had the privilege of attending the Boston Women Impact Tech . Here, I had the honor of representing 微软 and mothers everywhere for a panel discussion on Parents in Tech: Finding Balance.?

The intent of any public speaker is to connect. To resonate. To be something, say something or do something that rings true with someone in the audience. The level of gratification that comes from leaving an impression on just one other person is profound. I fondly recall those who have changed my life through just one (and sometimes many) conversations, and I hoped my participation in the panel would accomplish just that.?

At the Women Impact Tech event, I was given the opportunity to bring pieces of my journey to over 450 women in tech. I felt a bit rusty since it was my first conference since January 2020, but I was supported by 4 other co-panelists ( Rebecca Myers , Director of Systems Engineering, Draper, Kirsten Robinson , Senior Director, User Experience, BitSight, Usha P. Chintalapati , Director of Trading Technology, Wellington Management) as well as our moderator, Anu Mani , Senior Director, Engineering, Akamai Technologies.?

From the moment we first met virtually, it became apparent that we all shared a similar “why” for our career path and goals – we all want to set examples for our children and the next generation of leaders on what’s possible as a working parent. As expected during the conversation, there were plenty of nodding heads and sly smiles – as we all?get it.?Parenting and working is sure to be a juggling act; every mother and parent has both a unique experience, and their own definition of balance. Only we and our families can decide if it’s “working” for us. News flash, it’s not always perfect. Alas a theme emerged: as with any good relationship, communication and boundaries are key.?

During the panel discussion, my goal was to highlight the unique perspective I brought to the group of panelists:

• I have the youngest child amongst the panelists; one born at the “end” of Covid, meaning that I’ve only known life as a parent with the luxury of working remotely
• I was the only first-generation college graduate that has had to overcome some of the early career challenges one faces without the guidance and support of one’s parents
• I was the only motherless mother in the group who experiences immense periods of sadness and joy as I raise my little one without the support of my own mother
• I was the only panelist with visible tattoos and a facial piercing; while this continues to become more accepted in the workplace, these have been a part of who I am for years?
• ?I am a non-technical woman in tech who has spent her entire career within tech and tech consulting without a moment of coding

After the panel, I was stunned by the small queue that had formed of women looking to meet me one-on-one. Through these individual conversations, I found my stride. I helped brainstorm ways to overcome the “mommy track” one technologist felt placed on after taking a 5-year break for her family. I shared my personal experience with the anxiety around divulging my pregnancy and how it would impact my career trajectory; a feeling that is unacceptable yet still very real in many workplaces. I connected with another motherless mother who felt seen, as most of us don’t have another person in our lives who is a part of this small, sad club. And I met with another mother who, like me, is raising their child away from the homeland of their immigrant partner and their family.?

These conversations led to an immense feeling of pride in being able to relate to others while representing the culture I’ve discovered at Microsoft as a parent in tech.?I hope to continue to be a resourceful asset for others and my own self-navigator in this new space as I work to strike the delicate balance between family, friends and work life, friends.

If you’re interested in watching the panel discussion,?the recording is available here and below.