Parenting Styles and It's Long-Term Effects

Over the last half century the world has changed fundamentally, causing shift in expectations and experiences of how parents raise their children. In the last two decades rates of fertility and marriage decreased, whereas the rates of divorce and numbers of single parent households increased. Same-sex marriage is becoming increasingly legalized across the world. Consequently, family forms and living arrangements have diversified with an increase of unmarried or divorced families, single and same-sex parents.

To understand the nature of childhood in today’s world requires the understanding of parenting in the modern times. Parents and caregivers fundamentally shape children’s lives and everyday experiences, which has a major impact on their cognitive, academic, and socio-emotional development.

Parenting is still as challenging and demanding now than it was in the past. The change in family life in the modern society has brought several challenges for the parents and certainly fueled the question whether there should be a change in the way children are raised as well.

The use of “Parent” as a verb started gaining popularity in the 1970s, which is also the time when there was an incredible rise in the use of parenting books. The 1980s brought helicopter parenting, a movement to keep children safe from the physical harm, spurred by high-profile child assaults and abductions. Intensive parenting was described in the 1990s and 2000s and it grew from a major shift in how people saw children. They began to be considered vulnerable and moldable – shaped by their early childhood experiences – an idea bolstered by advances in child development research.

It has been proven that genetics and environment have roughly equal influence on human traits. Parenting style determines largely the kind of environment a child is raised in.

In the 1960s, psychologists Diana Baumrind conducted a study on more than 100 pre-school age children and identified some important dimensions of parenting. These dimensions include disciplinary strategies, warmth, and nurturing, communication styles, and expectations of maturity and control. Based on these dimensions, Baumrind suggested that the majority of parents display one of three different parenting styles; Authoritarian, Authoritative, and Permissive.

Authoritarian parents can be thought as disciplinarians who expect their children to obey with the rules regardless of the circumstances and wished of the child while Authoritative parents are similar to authoritarian parents in having rules and consequences, but those rules are formed by taking the kids’ opinion into consideration. Similarly, permissive or indulgent parents mostly let their children do what they want, and offer limited guidance or direction.

Later research by Maccoby and Martin suggested adding a fourth parenting style; neglectful or uninvolved parenting. Uninvolved parents give children a lot of freedom and generally stay out of their way. These parents tend to have little knowledge of what or how their kids are doing.

1.      Authoritarian parenting

While it is very tempting for parents to enforce good behavior through threats and punishments on their kids who misbehave, researches have shown that these tactics don’t result in long-term behavioral improvements. On the contrary, they seem to make things worse. Kids subjected to authoritarian tactics at one point tend to develop more externalizing behavior problems at later time points.

Kids from authoritarian families are less resourceful, less socially-adept, and more likely to be involved in bullying. Similarly, people raised by authoritarian parents may:

• Have trouble thinking for themselves
• Have poor self-esteem
• Have trouble interacting with their peers, because they expect their peers to listen to their demands, as they have to listen to the parents’ demands
• Have struggles with anger and resentment

2.      Authoritative parenting

The authoritative parenting style is an approach to child-rearing that combines warmth, sensitivity, and the setting of limits. Instead of threats and punishments, parents use positive reinforcement and reasoning to guide children. This approach is common in educated, middle class families, and linked with superior child outcomes throughout the world.

Children who are the recipients of this approach can be found to be adaptable, competent, and achievement-oriented. They are usually wholeheartedly accepted by their peers; perhaps because they demonstrate good social skills while at the same time exhibiting low levels of aggressive and antisocial behaviors. They are also less likely to report depression and anxiety, and less likely to engage in antisocial behavior like delinquency and drug use.

3.      Permissive parenting

Permissive parenting, also known as indulgent parenting is characterized by high responsiveness and low demandingness. Parents who exhibit this style make relatively few demands on their children. Because these parents have low expectations for self-control and maturity, discipline is a rarity. Having parents that are overly permissive can make it difficult for children to adjust to the expectations and boundaries that they’ll encounter in the world, as students, workers, and in relationship.

Research suggests that children of permissive parents may report being happier and more positive as children, they are more likely to be dependent, moody, and lack social skills as they age. Research has also suggested that kids raised by permissive parents:

•  Display low achievement in many areas
• More impulsive and aggressive
• Make poor decisions
• More prone to delinquency and substance use
• Unable to manage their time and habit

4.      Uninvolved parenting

Uninvolved parenting – also called neglectful parenting, which obviously carries more negative connotations – is a style of parenting where parents don’t respond to their child’s needs or desires beyond the basics of food, clothing, and shelter. Neglectful parents often come from dysfunctional families and received neglectful or uninvolved parenting themselves when they were growing up. Uninvolved parents tend to have mental health issues of their own, including depression, alcoholism, and substance use.

Children require love, attention, and encouragement to thrive. So, it’s no surprise that uninvolved parenting can have a negative effect on a child. It’s true that kids with uninvolved parents do tend to learn self-reliance and how to take care of their basic needs at an early age. Still, the drawbacks of this parenting style outweigh the good. Neglected kids are:

• Anxious or stressed due to the lack of family support
• Emotionally withdrawn
• More impulsive and have less self-control
• Low self-esteem
• Exhibit more delinquency during adolescence.

Conclusion

It’s true that each parenting style, like most things, has its pros and cons but authoritative parents are the most effective because of their balance of authority and empathy. The uninvolved parenting style, on the other hand, is known to be one of the worst and can have detrimental effects for children that extend into teen and adult years.

In order to raise confident children who are emotionally healthy and resilient, children need support, warmth, love, appropriate discipline, structure, and guidance from adults that they trust. Sometimes parents don’t fill in just one category, so don’t despair if there are times when you’re more authoritative. The studies are clear, however, that authoritative parenting is the best parenting style. But even if you tend to identify with other parenting styles more, there are steps you can take to become a more authoritative parent.

With dedication and commitment to being the best parent you can be, you can maintain a positive relation with your child while still establishing your authority in a healthy manner. And over time, your child will reap the benefits of your authoritative style.