Parenting in Real Time: Opting for Moments – Not Messages

If you follow me you probably already know that I'm currently reading Jonathan Haidt's thought- provoking book 'The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness' and it has got me pondering about how the smartphone has become ubiquitous - affecting even how babies bond with their parents, as Mums and Dads automatically reach for their phones through nearly every aspect of raising their children.

In my series of articles I'm looking at how we interact with our phones as parents and what that means for our children, particularly in the early years.

As new parents, the arrival of a baby brings with it a whirlwind of joy, excitement, and yes, a fair share of sleepless nights! In the midst of this transformative journey, one of the most precious gifts you can give your baby is your undivided attention.

Yet, in today’s hyper-connected world, the attraction of smartphones and constant digital distractions can often pull us away from the present moment.

Of course you want to share your photos, memories and moments with your family and friends and we all know how smartphone creep can set in so easily but ……

Here’s why it’s essential for new parents to resist the urge to be constantly tethered to their smartphones and instead prioritise being fully present with their little ones:

Bonding and Attachment: Babies thrive on interaction and connection with their caregivers. Every smile, cuddle, and gentle touch strengthens the bond between parent and child. By putting down your smartphone and engaging in meaningful face-to-face interaction, you’re laying the foundation for a secure attachment relationship, which is crucial for your baby’s emotional and social development.

Mindful Parenting: Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the moment, without judgment or distraction. By being mindful in your interactions with your baby, you’re better able to attune to their needs, respond with empathy and patience, and savor the precious moments of early parenthood. When you’re constantly checking your smartphone, you’re not fully present, and you may miss out on these fleeting moments of connection and joy.

Creating Memories: Your baby’s first smile, their first steps, the way they babble and coo – these are the moments you’ll cherish for a lifetime. By putting down your smartphone and being fully present, you’re creating lasting memories that you’ll treasure as your child grows. These are the moments that will shape your family’s story and strengthen the bonds of love and connection.

Setting a Healthy Example: As your child grows, they’ll look to you as a role model for how to navigate the world around them, including their relationship with technology. By demonstrating healthy tech habits from the start – such as limiting screen time, prioritising face-to-face interaction, and being mindful of when and where you use your smartphone – you’re setting a positive example for your child to follow.

Reducing Stress and Anxiety: Constantly checking your smartphone can contribute to feelings of stress, anxiety, and overwhelm, as you’re bombarded with notifications, news updates, and social media posts. By intentionally carving out screen-free moments with your baby, you create space for relaxation, connection, and joy, helping to reduce stress and promote emotional well-being for both you and your child.

While smartphones undoubtedly offer many wonderful opportunities and benefits in our modern lives, they should never take precedence over the precious moments of connection and bonding with your baby. By putting down your smartphone, being fully present, and embracing the joys of parenthood, you’re giving your child the greatest gift of all – your undivided love and attention.

To read the series go here