Parenting: A Catalyst for Personal Growth by Olusola Joshua Opaleye

"It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours." - Joyce Maynard

Parenting is often viewed as a battle against external influences, but in reality, the greatest struggle is within ourselves. Every intentional parent faces a daily conflict between their desire to be a successful parent and their own weaknesses. This inner battle is where we confront our own ignorance, priorities, and moral standards.

Parenting presents various challenges, including the knowledge gap between our intentions and the means to achieve them, the chaos of balancing multiple responsibilities, and the battle of wills with our children. However, the most significant battle is the one that forces us to confront our own flaws and personality traits, which we often unconsciously project onto our children.

To become effective parents, we must first win the battle within ourselves. Intentional parenting offers opportunities for personal growth, transformation, and self-improvement. By embracing this journey, we can become better versions of ourselves, more patient, creative, and effective in life.

Children are every parent's little mirror from which big lessons are learnt. If we are intentional about their growth and development, each day's contact with them will draw us to self reflection. As we will see our beliefs and values on display in our children, we can then take the step of reviewing our lives as we self-reflect to determine the things we will reinforce or do away with. The consequence of consistent self reflection that leads to behavioral change is transformational growth.

Children's resolve to test your resolve is a sure path to the development of your emotional intelligence. The ability to manage your emotions in the face of their defiance, attitude and provocations is a measure of your growth. The journey may begin with continually yelling and shouting but growth is being in charge of your reactions, learning to keep quiet and saying the appropriate words when there is need to talk. Growth is also administering appropriate disciplinary measures with regards to the offence and age of the child. This growth will rub off in every other relationship as emotional intelligence is a vital skill for every life's endeavour.

One of the graces that parenting also bestows is the ability to become creative and solve problems. Caring for children doesn't only make physical demand, there is a whole lot of brain work that is being demanded. Every parent who is intentional will experience a significant measure of growth in their ability to take responsibility and tackle problems heads on. By virtue of consistency in thinking through on dealing with the myriad of issues that concern children such as health, education, spiritual life etc, they have mastered the art of creating solutions with the available resources.

There is also the development of resilience and adaptability. Since each child is unique and special, there's no one-size-fits-all approach. You'll learn to tailor your approach to each child's individual needs, leading to the best possible outcomes. Moreover, you'll cultivate resilience, which enables you to persevere daily, despite the challenges and outcomes. Recognizing that parenting is a consistent training process will further enhance your resilience, benefiting you in all aspects of life.

Parenting offers every parent an impetus to higher levels in many dimensions of their lives. To maximise the privilege is to be willing to pay the price of intentionality.

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