Parenting on Cannabis

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Hello, good morning. I’m considering writing a book.

I’ll often ruminate on the through lines in my career and overall experience on the planet so far; tonight (technically last night, assuming you are reading this on the toilet or over coffee) it dawned on me that one recurring theme has been the destigmatization of natural medicines - but, more specifically, the destigmatization of natural medicines for a very specific and very accountable group of people:?parents.

One of my primary motives in speaking openly about cannabis, entheogens, and whatever else comes prepackaged in the dirt is to acknowledge the potential of natural medicine for all humans. I love when Baby Boomers rediscover cannabis through a modern gummy. I adore when kids are treated with cannabinoids for chronic seizures. I am stoked when a veteran finds quietude with a joint. I write for a lot of reasons, but normalizing natural relief - for everyone - is a big one.

However! I am inescapably influenced by my own experience, as we all are. As such, I often view the mission through the eyes of a husband, a son, a friend, a cannabis professional, and - most profoundly and importantly - through the eyes of a father of three.

?? The boozy double standard

Alcohol is irrevocably attached to the fabric of society. Not just American society. I’ve traveled.

It is, with few cultural exceptions,?an expectation?that humans drink for most occasions. Wedding? Yes. Funeral? Yes. Golf. Beers. Baby was born? Booze. Baby went to college? Booze. Baby back home for Xmas with a weird boyfriend? Booze.

I’m not anti-alcohol. I like to have a couple of drinks and sometimes more. But I have seen, vividly, what alcohol abuse does to an individual and a family. The upside is infinitesimal.

Also, when you get a solid way into your 30s, the physical effects of drinking are really just awful. I feel sluggish in the morning when I’ve had two cocktails.

More and more people are realizing that alcohol is basically poison, too: the number of worldwide drinkers dropped 5% since 2000. But it is still the undisputed intoxicant champ of the world.

Given its broad acceptance, it is present in many parental activities as well:

• Our son played flag football (ran for 40 yards all season but it was a hell of a 40 yards), and one of the moms dragged a red wagon full of rosé and sauvignon blanc to every game
• Moms in our town meet up at restaurant near the elementary school, relatively often, to drink daytime champagne (my wife may or may not partake in this activity from time to time)
• I was golfing recently and saw a dad let his teenage son have a beer as they were playing, which is kind of sweet I guess
• Dad cyclist groups will ride to a craft brewery and get tanked after blasting their quads

^Bad things? No, most of them are charming. The point is, they all involve alcohol and no one bats an eye.

Contrast that with cannabis. An objectively safer substance with objectively better outcomes that has never killed a human, ever. And it’s totally hidden - at least in public.

One-on-one conversations reveal that most parents I know are, in fact, experimenting with cannabis products. I thank the regulated cannabis industry for this, in all its dysfunctional glory - without billboards and programmatic ads and legal, well-appointed establishments, we would have drastically fewer people finding the plant.

But one-on-one admissions are not broad, welcoming attitudes. The reception that cannabis receives in public is still chock-full of old, weird stigmas; one of the well-worn and totally misguided ones is that if you are a parent that consumes cannabis, you are a bad parent.

?? The insane benefits

I think I’m a good dad. I do have some flaws that will undoubtedly color my children’s experiences - I’m impatient and sometimes I’m too loud - but overall, I come correct. I love them unconditionally, I try to impart wisdom, I try to provide structure, I play. It’s the most important job I have and I take it very seriously.

And guess what? When I consume cannabis, I’m not just a “good” dad - I’m fucking phenomenal. For me, cannabis is for pain relief and anxiety reduction, or to enhance workouts, or to shift gears after work and decompress - but, more than anything, it’s a tool that focuses my brain on the present.

I have a relatively active mind, and a predisposition toward anxiety. That means that, normally, I’ll finish up work, close up shop, and do my best to be present, but I am often battling between competing thoughts. I’m solving problems that aren’t relevant in that moment. I often find myself distracted getting prepared for dinner with the kids, or during bath time, or bedtime. I always feel guilty when I snap out of it. Sound familiar?

Cannabis quiets all of this down for me. A 5mg gummy or a single puff of flower injects my consciousness with a gentle sense of wonderment about my kids, and the privilege of being their dad. It makes me smile at my wife and clean up the dishes and get on the floor to play games. It allows me to be so silly that my sons belly laugh for 20 mins before bed.

A standard daily parenting routine is immeasurably enhanced by the plant. For my kids and for me.

?? Intoxication perceptions

A weird question that cannabis consumers get:

“You’re high around your kids / parents / colleagues / insert any other relationship here?”

This is indicative, again, of the raging double standard between alcohol and cannabis. If I tell you that I like Imperial IPAs and I regularly enjoy one after work, you probably wouldn’t say something like “wow, you like to get drunk while parenting?”

Cannabis dosage is controlled. I’m not hitting a dab before bedtime.

And, to be honest, my faculties are way more intact when I consume cannabis than when I drink an IPA. I feel sharp and lucid and happy and energetic, as compared to burpy, tired, and a little sloppy. (These are the new seven dwarves)

?? The shame

Despite the public sentiment shifting away from alcohol, and despite the major progress we have made w/r/t normalization, there is still shame for some parents in admitting their cannabis use.

So I’m considering writing a book about it. I think that understanding the benefits of a cannabis routine is important for a lot of parents, and I really think that most people would be much better caretakers if they had similar experiences to mine. I think I’ll interview people about their experience parenting on cannabis, and tell their stories, too.

I dunno, tell me if it’s a dumb idea or if it has legs. And if you want to be featured, you know where to find me. ??