PARENTAL VINDICATION

It feels good to get a win on the keep it simple gift front

As I discuss in my upcoming book, I Guess I’m a Dad Now: A Humorous Handbook for Newish Dads That Don’t Want to Suck, I am a firm believer in keeping gifts and toys simple, battery and “loud noise and sound” free, and making it something that sparks creativity in kids. My wife and I have a united a front on this approach, which is good because we often get pushback from family members who insist that a remote-control car or anything with lights is something our kids will love. Despite the fact it is my wife and I who will ?be left changing batteries for eternity. Or at least until the cheap plastic toy breaks, along with mine and my kids’ spirit.

And, in fairness to those well-intentioned gift givers, kids usually do love that R/C car, flashing robot policeman, or talking Baby Yoda (all real life examples by the way). ?For a few minutes at least. Then their dopamine system resets, and they move on to something else because that one use toy can only be used for…one thing!

Our staunch opposition to this class of toys does not make us popular with our family, or our kids when they see other kids getting their light up noise making toys, as was the case at a recent holiday party when they got water bottles themed with their current favorite characters (Ninja Turtles and Lightning McQueen in case you were wondering). They loved their new practical water bottles, until their frame of reference was changed by the other kids at the party and their fancy flashing toys.

The night was salvaged when, during the adult white elephant exchange, my wife and I left with one of the ultimate kid toys: the nerf dart gun.

Our 5-year-old was quite pumped for this toy, and wanted to play with it when we got home at 9:15pm that night. We, of course, made his little tired ass go to bed, wherein he slept until 8:30 the next morning. The latest I can recall him sleeping in. When he woke up, he immediately went to the box with those plastic dart shooters and wanted to play. After pulling off a metric ton’s worth of cardboard and plastic, he was ready to go.

As he held the Styrofoam darts and orange plastic in his hands, he turned to my wife and asked:

“Can this change or do anything else?”

My wife immediately told me, and we were the most vindicated we have ever felt in our toy approach. And if you are an “action” versus words person, the epilogue to the story is even better. Because after about 10 minutes of shooting at a wall, one of the two guns was lost, and our boys spent the rest of the day digging in dirt, and building things from scratch with Legos and magnet tiles.

Is limiting single use toys unconventional? Probably, but we save a lot of plastic and batteries while our kids learn to use their imagination and creativity.

Plus, now I don’t have to find Styrofoam darts in every nook and cranny of our house. And I’ll gladly pay the price of wearing a Lego on my bare foot every now and then.

POST SCRIPT!

?

Christmas has come and gone, and if I didn’t love my in laws enough already, they came through with our kids’ favorite gift of the season:

A literal pile of dirt.

When my kids saw it in our backyard, they ran out, and immediately started playing in it. They dug. They tunneled. They created their own buried treasure game with their Crocs (probably the most fashionable location for Crocs, anyways).

All without batteries, plastic, or any sort of light or sound “stimulation.

My 5-year-old, however said he didn’t like it.

He LOVED it!

I hope you had a lovely holiday season, and if you have kids, they got everything they wanted…and that you tolerate!

Let me know in the comments how your holiday season went!

________________________________________________________________

Hey, you read the whole thing! You go, you! If you enjoyed it, please comment or share to help others find it. If you find that a short newsletter just a few times a week isn't enough, why don't you go check out my book, "Permission to Care: Building a Healthcare Culture that Thrives in Chaos" ? I also speak to groups! Send me a message if you think I'd be a good fit for your next event. Thanks so much again for reading.

??