Parent Unconventionally

“How do I eat this?”

This was the question from our 3.75-year-old recently. The question for you is, what food was he asking how to eat?

Was it a giant deli sandwich?

Was it a giant slice of pizza?

Was it a crawfish?

Enough suspense! It was leftover Valentine’s Day Candy. Specifically, those little candy hearts with messages on them. He didn’t know how to eat them, because he had never had them, or many other types of candy.

My wife grinned as she said, “He didn’t know how to eat…candy. I think we’re doing something right.”

I am biased, but I agree. We parent weird. Weird as in candy is not a normal occurrence in our house. Typical junk food for kids-chips, soda, “fruit” snacks are not on the menu. And it’s not just food, TV shows are few and far between, and the iPad is for flying or haircuts only. Compared to most of our kids’’ peers, it is unusual.

We parent a bit unconventionally; some would say weird. I’ll admit it.

Weird is often seen as bad. But please take a step back with me and ask, “What is normal?” these days:

-Kids glued to screens, unable to interact

-No attention spans

-An expectation of every picture getting uploaded to social, then judged

-And sadly, rampant rates of childhood obesity

Societal conventions have led us down a sad, unhealthy road. And as a dad, if I just went along with how all the other parents are doing it, my kids may have the expectation of TV and candy along with so many other behaviors I’d like to avoid. Will I pretend our kids never have sugar, or never have some sort of screen? Of course not! That would be a lie, and I don’t want to lie to you, my faithful reader (yes, reader, I see how many of you open these).

But the conventions of society have led us down this parental path. And to fight it, we have to be brave enough to parent weird. My wife and I have been doing it now for six (gulp) years, and our kids are far from perfect…but there are signs we are at least going in the right direction:

-Positive feedback from teachers

-Babysitters that willingly watch them

-Focus and respect for their Little League Coaches

-They are strong as HELL!

Dads and parents, we are going to mess some things up, and I know I have. But if we can break convention, be a little weird, and have the courage to not give in to what all the other kids are doing-in my son’s kindergarten class, it seems to be a lot of questionable TV shows at the moment-our kids may be better off for it. And if they look a little weird when they don’t know how to eat candy, because they haven’t gotten much candy, I’ll gladly help them pay that price.

Because the cost of the alternative is not something I want to pay.

So, get weird, and tell me how YOU live a little weird or unconventional. Whether you are a parent or not, I’d love a comment or email back. I’m always looking for a new way to be unconventional.

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Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this perspective on fatherhood, then you’ll love my new book, coming May 12th, called “I Guess I’m a Dad Now: A Humorous Handbook for Newish Dads Who Don’t Want to Suck” ! I have some great pre order bonuses you can snag , and since you are a loyal reader, if you put in the email to me that you read my newsletter, I’ll give you the bonuses for ordering 5 books even if you only order 1! Pick it up for you, or a dad you know in your life!

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