The Parent Conference: The Most Important 25 Minutes of Your Year

This is a column about parent conferences and parent involvement that we recently had published in the Salem Times-Register, in Salem, Virginia. In it we share why it is critical that parents be involved in their child's education and gives a few key questions they may take with them to get even more insight from their conference with the teacher. It was written for a Southwest Virginia audience, but please feel free to use it or modify it for your own uses if you find the concepts helpful.  

          ~Steve Frey, Ascendant Educational Services

Health Care crisis. North Korea. Global Warming. Taxes. November elections.

With so many critical issues on our minds these days, who has time to think about Parent-Teacher Conference Day. After all, that 25 minute conference isn't going to change the world or somehow save Southwest Virginia, is it?

Well, it just may. Let me explain.

How many times will you meet your child's teacher this year; you know, that person who will probably spend more waking hours with your child than you will over the course of the school year? If you are like many parents, this conference may be your only extended interaction with the teacher throughout the year.

Teachers know how important these meetings are. They are busy organizing schedules, putting together data, and spending hours long after grading papers and planning lessons to streamline their presentations for parents eager to find out exactly why Johnny is not doing so well in math.

Teachers also know that developing a great working partnership with parents is one of the best ways to ensure student success. They know that that 20-30 minute meeting will fly by, especially if they are not focused. Be assured that they will come to the meeting prepared!

Back, however, to the connection with the rise or fall of Southwest Virginia. As you have probably heard, 90% of brain development occurs by age 5, so all that reading, singing nursery rhymes, modeling, talking, and playing with your child prepared her for a successful school experience. You, as your child's first teacher, gave her the foundation upon which the current teacher is building.

The teacher needs you. In a study published a few years ago by Topor et al, it was found that "...increased parent involvement, defined as the teacher's perception of the positive attitude parents have toward their child's education, teacher, and school, was significantly related to increased academic performance, measured by both a standardized achievement test and teacher ratings of the child's classroom academic performance." Your relationship with the teacher makes a difference.

Parents, America needs you. Yes, it does sound a little like Uncle Sam on a recruitment poster, but the truth is, we are not doing so well with achievement in the United States. According to a Pew Research Report, the United States recently ranked 24th in the world for science, 39th for math, and 24th for reading for the average fifteen year old. Closer to home, in a 2017 U.S. News and World Report study (Based on criteria like math and reading scores, disadvantaged student progress, graduation rate, and college preparedness.) only one high school in all of Southwest Virginia made the top 50 in Virginia: Cave Spring High School at #40. Cave Spring High was #1569 nationally.

We can talk all we want about 21st Century skills, developing technology corridors in Southwest Virginia, expanding college opportunities, and attracting businesses to our area, but if our children do not compete in basic math, reading, science, or other subjects, we will eventually all suffer the economic and societal fallout.

Companies want to move to areas with a strong school system and high levels of student achievement and community involvement. They want the BEST schools for their employees' families and potential workers. Squeaking by to reach accreditation or not being accredited does not cut it. Our schools should aim to outperform, not just get by.

It is also true, though, that our teachers and schools are performing miracles against all odds every day, and the poverty in many of our area school communities has a profound impact on achievement, but we have to continue to find ways to do better. Our children's future, our communities, and our country depend on it. Individually, you can't always control how much the board of supervisors, the state, or the federal government allocates to education, so what can you do to show the teacher that you care about your child's success, and you want to develop the kind of working relationship that will make a difference? By coming prepared.

The teacher will probably address your child's strengths and weaknesses, behavior, homework, grades, and other areas, but here are a few specific questions you might take along with you to get even better insight into your child's progress.

First, what is the specific reading level of the child. Reading is a gateway skill to success in all other subject areas. Teachers are constantly collecting data on your child's reading progress, and they should be able to give you a grade equivalent level that you can understand. DIBELS, STAR, AIMSweb, Running Records, DRA, Guided Reading---there are many ways school systems measure reading growth, but sometimes a simple grade equivalency is the best comparison for you to comprehend as parents. If your child is in fourth grade but reading on a second grade level or a sixth grade level, you can understand that easier than the fact that they should have a DRA score of 28 and their score is 20. Based on that grade equivalency, how are your child's needs being met with the teacher in the classroom, and what can you do to support your child?

Second, ask how the teacher individualizes instruction for your child. Whether you think your child is gifted or needs academic support, the teacher is finding ways to differentiate instruction. Let's say that your child is on the advanced side of the academic range in class. The teacher can individualize writing expectations; there are different reading groups; math questioning and assignments can be adjusted to challenge; science and social studies assignments might be modified. The teacher should share how this is taking place in the classroom.

Third, how is your child interacting socially with other students? This goes beyond just "behaving well." You want to make sure that your child is making friends, working well with others, developing empathy and understanding for the needs of others, developing teamwork skills, etc. Yes, it is important to know that he is behaving well, but the skills your child needs go beyond keeping his hands and feet to himself and not disturbing class.

Fourth, is your child engaged in learning? Is she focused? Is she concentrating on the assignment at hand and completing it appropriately? If not, how is the teacher re-engaging the child?

Fifth, what is the best way to communicate with the teacher when needed? Teachers often have different communication systems/technology that they use with parents. Find out what they use and how you can set up that system of open communication. Open communication should go both ways!

Finally, what goals does the teacher have for your child's achievement? What can you do to help your child and support the teacher? Take notes!

Okay, you showed up (You would be amazed at how many parents just don't show up!); you showed up on time (Remember, the teacher is meeting parents one after another throughout the day so adhering to the schedule is important.); you came prepared with important questions; and you and the teacher have a plan for the future. Now what?

The most important step comes next, of course: follow through. Talk with the child about his goals. Check-in regularly to see how he is progressing. Be available to help, but don't do his homework for him. Let him know that you and the teacher had a great conference and that you will be working together with her. You, the teacher, and your child will make a great team. Your child knowing that you support the teacher AND him is critical.

Yes, you may not solve all of the world's problems at that parent-teacher conference, but you will help your child be more successful in school. If you do your part, and the other 23 families in the class do their part, and the other 400 students in school have parents that do their part, you will build a synergy in that school where every child can and will learn, every child can and will succeed, and your community will be a better place for it.

Parents, yes, your children and teachers need you, and you can use that conference to make a difference. Indeed, they just might be the most important 25 minutes of your year!