For it is in pardoning, that we are pardoned...

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Forgiveness is a dual forked road. All through life, people will betray you, hurt you, wrong you, and treat you dreadfully. Let the Universe deal with them. Let go of the hurt, otherwise the hatred nurtured in your heart will damage you forever. To be wounded is trivial, unless you persist on nursing its memory forever.

You retort, “Easier said than done!” Keep in mind, every action is reactive of a similar situation. Most people offend others as a result of their own inner pain. If somebody is uncouth or offensive to you, you can almost be certain that they have some deep unresolved issues plaguing them within. Issues like unspoken anger, grief, bitterness or loss are being coped with. Forgive them, as they know no better way to cope with the trauma. Be the bigger person. The last thing they need is for you to make matters worse by reacting irately.

It’s important to forgive. I am certainly not advocating liking your offenders, becoming best friends with them, or texting them smileys and heartfelt messages. We have to forgive them, because if we don't we are doomed to carry a heavy burden on our backs. Hatred and revenge is a double edged sword. Don't forgive them because they deserve it... Forgive them because they need it ...and above all, because you need it. As Criss Jami beautifully puts it, “Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.” 

Forgiving others is just the first fork of the road. The second parallel fork on this road is ‘Inner Forgiveness’. I realized through the trials of life that the one person I need to ask for forgiveness from the most is ‘Myself’. It’s vital to love yourself and nurture the habit of forgiving yourself, every single day. Every time you instinctively recall a weakness, an inadequacy, a shortcoming or a blemish within you, you have to tell yourself "It’s OK”. We are all creatures of God who are collectively on a continuous path of evolution. Learn to absolve yourself to such an extent that you don't even see those flaws and cracks within you anymore. It is critical that we forgive ourselves for our past mistakes. We need to learn from our blunders and simply move on. Because we matter, and everything we feel, think or do is important and profoundly impacts the world around us.

The willingness to forgive others and oneself on a daily and immediate basis is a sign of spiritual and emotional maturity. It is one of the greatest qualities that we should all aspire for. Can you envisage a world filled with people willing both to instantaneously forgive and ready to genuinely accept an apology? What a wonderful world that would be? The largesse of human spirit, humility and love could resolve any problem plaguing the world today. Forgiveness would be our generation’s greatest contribution to healing an angry and damaged world. 

Every time you pardon others or yourself, the universe changes! Every time you reach out and heal a heart with love, the cosmos transforms! Every random or conscious act of loving kindness, mercy, compassion or selfless service will alter the energy across the universe. And in this process of loving and forgiving, nothing will be the same again.