Parasympathetic Living and Thoughts on Greatness

Happy 2023 to all of you!

Welcome to One Rich Life's official launch. This first newsletter and all future letters are designed to uplift your life and your mind.

Let me repeat.

The One Rich Life Newsletter is designed to help you live a richer, more satisfying, more contented and more extraordinary life.

A life that helps you achieve more than just external success.

More than just the fancy job, the home, the cars, the vacations, the watches and recognition. Because we all know, those things don't make us happier, right?

A Short Story on Dr. Jim Doty

Last week here in Palo Alto, Charlene, my long-time podcast producer and I sat down with Dr. James Doty, Founder of CCARE at Stanford and the author of Into the Magic Shop.

Dr. Doty grew up in the harshest of circumstances. His father was an alcoholic. His mother chronically depressed and an abuser of drugs. His entire youth was spent living off public assistance in a small town in California.

Dr. Doty went on to become an emissary to His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

His story is one of the most intriguing and poignant histories I have ever come across and one of my favorite because it revolves around what millions around the world get up everyday to win: success.

"I wanted to be so rich that places would be named after me. When I had all those things, then I would feel OK."

When asked by Ruth, a woman he met as a young boy at a magic shop who would teach him how to relax his mind and focus his thoughts, what he wished for, Dr. Doty wrote down a list: Don't get evicted. Be a Doctor. A million dollars. Rolex. Porsche. Mansion. Island. Success.

Dr. Doty was so intent on being a success that he lived a big chunk of his life in Fight or Flight mode, a primitive state that is triggered when we sense danger. In effect, our heart acts as a lighthouse for our inner emotional state and sends signals to our brain via the vagus nerve. In this tension-filled state, our blood pressure and heart rate go up and our HRV (Heart Rate Variability - which is where the amount of time between your heartbeats fluctuates slightly rather than being steady) goes down. Dr. Doty lived more in stress than in peace, grasping for peace of mind but believing it would come to him with more prestige and more money.

Dr. Doty went on to become a paper millionaire worth around $75 million only to lose it all in the Dot-com crash.

Sensing he was living a life relentlessly and chasing his self-worth and validity and losing love and destroying relationships, Dr. Doty soon after donated what would be worth $30 million in the form of a charitable trust he had earlier created.

He was officially bankrupt.

But rich. Rich in the wisdom that would years later lead him to gathering support from the Dalai Lama to create a center at Stanford to study compassion and altruism.

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Caring for things outside of your selfish needs and having compassion for yourself and others increases HRV by tapping into the parasympathetic nervous system, the polar opposite of Fight or Flight, and often referred to as Rest and Digest mode.

In this mode, our blood pressure goes down, we feel at ease, we feel relaxed and open, able to connect with others better and less affected by stress, anxiety and negative thinking (yes, negative thinking can affect the health of your heart and can predispose you to cardiac failure).

Perhaps this is why Dr. Doty found immense satisfaction and conviction in founding CCARE. He knew that living in a parasympathetic dominate state was healthier than not.

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In fact, The more time we spend in a parasympathetic state, the healthier we are.

Practicing compassion is one good way to live in parasympathetic nervous system mode, but there are other ways too:

1) Change your definition of success - if your entire life revolves around being of great success in the way society defines it and the way Dr. Doty once did, you are likely living in an anxious, sympathetic nervous system state. Start viewing success as a process, not an outcome and define it more by a purpose that is bigger than your own individual gain. Maybe success to you is the success of your children, or your relationships, or uplifting the minds of strangers, or your ability to feel peaceful and find delight in your everyday no matter what it throws at you.

2) Take a slow-paced walk - light cardio exercise activates parasympathetic activity, improving your HRV, which is an indicator of a healthy heart.

3) Breathwork - Intentionally slowing your breath lets your body know that everything is okay, as it activates the parasympathetic nervous system.

4) Meditation - also activates parasympathetic system. (Other contemplative practices like prayer, chanting and mindfulness have similar benefits - see research study in comments below).

5) Be compassionate - research has also shown this reduces blood pressure and heart rate.

6) Spend more time deep in nature - slows breath and mind down which activates parasympathetic activity.

7) Eat better - Avoiding stimulants such as caffeine and sugar will help in the activation of the parasympathetic activity.

8) Start finding more joy, living from your heart, finding delight in the little things. In other words, get out of your head more often.

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My gift to you for the week: Think about whether or not you live primarily in Rest and Digest mode or Fight or Flight mode. How is your sleep, your energy levels, your sexual function, your ability to smile and respond to difficult situations rather than react? What can you do to live in a parasympathetic state more often?

Not Wanting the Success we see in the Media

The media plays to our emotions. That's not new. Culture plays to the grandest most outrageous stories of material success. That's not new either.

So when you see stories on Jeff Bezos, the Kardashians and the Fortune 400, you should take a moment to reflect and ask: "Is this the kind of success I want?"

When the majority of the world's population are unenlightened, do you think chasing after society's version of success is wise?

Wisdom

"Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity." - Colin Powell

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Thanks for reading One Rich Life. I hope it made you think and uplifted your life, mind and spirit in some touching, beautiful way.

If you have a loved one or friend who wants to achieve more than just external success and live a rich and extraordinary life, consider forwarding this letter to them and having them sign-up here: https://lnkd.in/eHEYzsMk

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