The Paralyzing Fear of Failure

A few years ago, I was flipping through YouTube videos. I didn’t believe my eyes when I saw this title:

“Jim Carrey’s Commencement Address at the 2014 MUM Graduation.”

I couldn’t comprehend the fit between “Jim” and “the Commencement Address.” I thought this must be a sketch comedy. I watched it to see if it’s a real one. I couldn’t believe my eyes and ears. It was real. I was blown away by the punchlines Jim had, the high level of connection he made with the audience, and the wisdom he imparted throughout the speech.

This passage of the speech resonated the most with me:

“My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him, and so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant, and when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job, and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you could fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”

What a lesson! You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on what you love. Most people don’t have the courage to fail. The fear of failure paralyzes most people around the world from achieving their full potential. I don’t blame them. Communities in which they live in conditioned them to view failure as a stigma. For example, they would prefer to get a job that pays the bills rather than embark on a business adventure. Often, they view their jobs as a ritual that will eventually lead them to get a meager retirement salary to live off.

I had seen and heard countless stories of those people. For example, we had a very bright teacher in high school. I always wondered what he was doing over here. He should have been in banking and finance, making a ton of money. But as a student, I thought it would not be appropriate for me to ask him for the reason. After more than 20 years, I accidentally met him in a social event. I went to him. Introduced myself. And, he recognized me. I told him I’ve been waiting for the right opportunity to ask you this question for more than two decades:

Why did you work in the teaching profession?

And as we sipped tea, he told me the story of his life. He told me why he was stuck in the teaching profession for more than 30 years. Please don’t get me wrong, I fully respect the teaching profession, and I raise my hat to all the teachers around the world. I’m solely using this story to illustrate the point I’m trying to make. Here goes the story.

Our high school teacher had a scholarship to study a degree in Business Administration. Upon his graduation, the Ministry of Education officials summoned him. They told him, your scholarship had a condition that you teach in the Ministry for five years. He tried to obtain a waiver from this condition. But he couldn’t. The officials told him if you don’t want to teach, pay us all the tuition fees and the allowances we paid you. Because he couldn’t afford this option, he agreed to teach the required period.

Initially, he planned to leave after serving the Ministry for five years. But over time, that plan was shelved. He was too afraid to join companies and banks in the private sector. The fear of failure paralyzed him. And societal norms played a significant factor in that decision. He thought, what would people think of him? How can he leave a secure job with the Government? What if he doesn’t get a good offer? What if his boss is younger than him? He had many what if’s, all driven by his fear of failure. I thought what an unfortunate waste. He could have been a banker or an executive, earning more money, caring better for his family, and providing his kids with top-class education.

Do you know people like him? People who just settled for what life gave them. People who did not take a chance on themselves. People who didn’t want to push the envelope a little bit. I’m sure you do. However, I know people on the other end of the spectrum. 

People who took a chance on themselves. 

People who made a ton of money. 

People who live in mansions. 

People who sent their kids to world-class universities. 

People who set up charities to give back to their communities.

For example, I know a gentleman who used to work as an airline cabin crew. He got sick and tired from being nice to nasty passengers. So, he took the plunge. He quit his job.  Today, he owns one of the fastest-growing real estate agencies in Bahrain. His company’s capital is around USD 10 Million; make a mental note of this. He employs more than 20 staff. He sponsors local sporting events and supports charity funds. Now, I want to think about this.

This gentleman has only a high school diploma. He didn’t go to college. He’s the first one to go on business in his entire extended family. His initial capital was only USD 265 (Yes, Two Hundred Sixty-Five Dollars). And to top this all, he started his company during the Financial Crisis of 2008, when businesses were closing. I’m sure his family members, work colleagues, and friends thought he was crazy! But we must give him the credit he deserves. He never allowed the fear of failure to paralyze him. 

These adventurous people often have the same thing to say, when you ask them this:

" Weren’t you afraid of failure?”

 Their answer is most of the time is:

 “So, what if I fail. I can try again. Eventually, if I don’t succeed, at least, I’ll have the honor that I tried. And that, no one can take away from me.”

Do you have the courage to fail? 

If not, develop it. Go on small adventures. Try new things. Seek advice from the people who have the jobs you want or the businesses you aspire to establish. Don’t just think about it. Do something about it. Move. Else, you’ll be stuck like my smart high school teacher. Perhaps for decades, in a job or a profession, you don’t necessarily like.

And, remember what Michael Jordan said:

“I've failed over and over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeed.”

Mohamed Isa is a Business Advisor, an Award-Winning Speaker & 4-Time Amazon Bestselling Author.