The Paradoxical Power of Vulnerability in Communication

What’s the worst thing that could happen?? What’s the worst-case scenario???

Have you ever asked yourself these questions?? We probably should more often.??

Why???

Fear has a way of weaseling into our thoughts, clouding our judgment, and hindering our ability to engage with life fully.??

One area I have repeatedly seen fear wreak havoc in is communication in the workplace.??

Fear is Liar?

Transparency in communication is vitally important.? Without it, people are left to read between the lines and draw conclusions that you may not intend.??

No one wants to be misunderstood.? Or to misunderstand.??

Why, then, do we so often hold back and play our cards close to the vest?? No doubt there are a variety of reasons.??

• The communication patterns we were raised with?
• Our cultural preferences?
• Pain from past experiences?
• Self-confidence?

Just to name a few.? But it seems to me that one of the biggest culprits is this: FEAR.??

Many hold back in communication because they fear losing a client – or job.??

Some are afraid of disappointing people.? Others may be afraid of the volcano of emotion that may erupt if they’re honest.? I’ve been afraid of the complications comprehensive communication may create.??

But what’s the worst thing that can happen if you are just honest???

You don’t need to sabotage yourself, hinder your relationships, or complicate your work life.??

Don’t fear honesty.?

The Paradox of Humility?

We often want to present ourselves as impenetrably strong and unquestionably wise.? Especially if you have a responsibility to lead.??

But something unexpected happens when people, especially leaders, risk being vulnerable and honest about their weakness or pain.??

Respect grows.? Trust increases.? Patience and compassion blossom.??

It just seems to be a law written into nature.? Pride repels.? Humility attracts.??

When you’re honest about your feelings, you put yourself in a dependent position.? Some may exploit that.? But most won’t.??

But even if they try to? – at least your honesty will allow you to operate in the light of truth instead of in the shadows of assumptions.????

Honor Humility?

In the 15-plus years I’ve led my Digital Marketing Agency, I’ve worked with multiple clients and contractors.? I have found that most people are more fragile than they let on.? Or want to be.????

That’s not a slight.? Just reality.??

I know I must actively, intentionally, daily pry off my mask of self-protection.??

When someone takes the risk of being honest, you must honor that.? Vulnerability can require enormous strength.??

Honoring another person’s story, experience, perspective, or opinion does not mean you must completely agree with them.??

Nor does it mean that they are not accountable for their actions or deadlines.??

It does, though, mean that you value them as human beings.? You seek to understand.? You treat people with the dignity and respect you would want to be treated with.?

Understanding Paves the Path to Productivity?

With honesty in your right hand and understanding in your left, you will be far better positioned to collaborate with colleagues and clients.?

When people feel known, seen, and cared for – they are much more likely to receive coaching or correction positively and productively.??

And when you understand where another person is coming from, you can coach them with the nuance they need not just to become a more productive employee but a more whole human being.??

You can empower people to become who they are uniquely destined to be.? They don’t even have to stay with you.??

You may be given the privilege of being a person in their story who provided the opportunity they needed to flourish.??

Everyone can win.??

A Better Bottom Line for our Brands?

Making money is great.? Building a brand that can provide dignified, meaningful work for others is incredible.??

But what if we viewed pennies and platforms as a means to an end, not the goal?

One passage from the bible that I try to let be a guide for my life and business says:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

As a leader, I can establish a culture of humility, respect, and service to others.? And that is a culture no one should be afraid of.??