The Paradox of Surrender

I know you know that life doesn’t always go as planned.

A job rejection, a major health challenge, or a missed professional milestone can upend our plans. These moments force us to make a choice:

Do we fight harder?

Do we "Marie Kondo" it?

Do we quit?

Or is there another option?

When you are caught in a rip tide, you swim along the shore; you don't fight with the current.?

Understanding the distinction between surrender and submission can guide us toward true healing and transformation in moments of difficulty or transition.

Surrender: Surrender is a full and genuine acceptance of reality, both consciously and unconsciously. It’s not about defeat but about letting go of resistance and embracing what is. This internal and external alignment leads to a state of relaxation, peace, and freedom from strain. Surrender creates the space to rest deeply and recover, enabling clarity and readiness for the next chapter.

Submission: Submission, on the other hand, is a surface-level compliance. While it acknowledges reality, it grudgingly keeps a subtle internal struggle alive. Submission creates tension rather than peace, preventing rest and recovery. There may be a sprinkle of anger here. It keeps you in a holding pattern, unable to fully move forward.

For the early part of my career, I was in submission when things didn't go as I wanted.

"FINE (Read: freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional). I'll pause. But as soon as I catch my breath, I am back at it." I just didn't get it. It wasn't until I surrendered that I began to heal from my head injury.

The Power of Surrender and Rest:

As Katherine May explores in her Wintering book, life has seasons, and surrendering to a “winter” period—a time of rest, stillness, and quiet—can be profoundly restorative. Just as nature uses winter to rest and prepare for renewal, surrender allows us to step back from striving and struggling, giving us the time to regain our strength, clarity, and purpose. Rest is not just an absence of action; it is an intentional space where healing and transformation occur.

Using Surrender to Reframe Your Future:

This period of surrender is not simply about pausing but reframing. When you emerge from the quiet, it’s a time to reflect on what you truly want. By letting go of resistance, you free up mental and emotional energy to explore new perspectives, reevaluate your goals, and align with what truly matters. Surrender offers the opportunity to step back, realign with your values, and chart a course for the future with intention and clarity.

Practical Actions to Embrace Surrender:

1. Rest: Recognize that rest is productive. No guilt here. Guilt is a pretty useless emotion. Disconnect wherever possible.

2. Reflect: Use this quiet period to ask yourself key questions: What do I want to leave behind? What do I want to carry forward? What do I want to create?

3. Reframe: With the clarity that surrender brings, revisit your aspirations. Think about how you would redefine success in the nooks and crannies of your day. What aligns with who you are now?

4. Trust: Just as winter inevitably turns to spring, surrender and rest will prepare you to re-engage with life and work from a place of strength and renewal.

Surrender isn’t about giving up; it’s about focusing on what matters most. Trust that your next step will emerge when the time is right.

Drop your thoughts below. I'd love to hear from you.?