The Paradox of Strength

I spent my weekend immersed in a book that hit home in a way few things do. It got me thinking about this badge of “strength” we’re told to wear and the way it isolates us. The author questioned: What if being strong wasn’t about carrying endless burdens? What if we let go of the narrative that we have to endure, just to prove we’re resilient? It’s easy to be celebrated for enduring hardship, but at what cost? Why must strength demand self-sacrifice without reciprocity?

Imagine this:

You’re that friend everyone calls the “rock,” the dependable one. People come to you when they need advice, a shoulder, or a solution. And maybe you’re good at it—perhaps you even take pride in being there for others. But where’s your rock? Where’s that person who says, “Today, you don’t have to be strong. Today, you get to be held.”

The truth is, being seen as strong can be a lonely experience. People check on you not because they worry about your well-being but because they hope you’re okay enough to keep holding them up. And sometimes, we let them. Why? Because we think it’s easier to be the “strong one” than to ask for what we need.

The reality of being the “strong one” is that people start expecting you to always come through. Vulnerability is avoided, and they find comfort in your stability, all while ignoring your need for support. You’re expected to hide your pain to spare them discomfort, expected to act perfect to keep them at ease. Your challenges, your struggles—they go unacknowledged.

let’s be honest: strength doesn’t have to mean self-sacrifice.

Here’s a joke to lighten it up a bit: “Being strong all the time is like being the only umbrella in a rainstorm. Everyone huddles under you until, one day, they look up and realize the umbrella’s gone…” ??? ?? You were holding it over everyone else and forgot yourself.

But, that’s not what wellness should look like.

Wellness is finding your circle. It’s finding people who see you—not just the “strong” you but the real you. People who allow you to be vulnerable, who hold space for your truth, and who celebrate your imperfections as part of your humanity. In this circle, you’re not drained; you’re filled. You find a merry-go-round of support and uplift, where each person has their turn to be carried forward, and no one is left behind.

Wellness is about finding the balance between giving and receiving, pushing and being held, achieving and resting. In a true community, your strength doesn’t isolate you—it connects you.

“Your circle are the ones who feed you, not the ones who feed on you.”

What we need isn’t to keep being the hero—what we need is our circle. A circle is different from a crowd. They’re the people who don’t need you to be perfect. They let you show up as you are: messy, vulnerable, and real. They don’t call you “strong” to avoid the discomfort of your struggles. Instead, they sit beside you, help you sort through the mess, and remind you that being human is okay.

This time, let’s choose something softer—something kinder. You deserve rest. You deserve a life that’s not measured by how well you endure pain but by how freely you feel joy. Being capable of withstanding hardship doesn’t mean you deserve it. Nor does it mean that the world can demand more from you than it gives.

May you find your circle—those who see both your strength and your need for softness. A small, powerful circle that lets you be who you are without expectations or demands. A place where resilience doesn’t come at the cost of wellness, and strength is shared, not exploited.

And if you cant find your circle, build it. Start by inviting others to walk beside you—together, you’ll create a place where strength isn’t about perfection but about authentic connection.

This is the kind of strength worth having: one that nourishes, not drains.

May we all find that place, where our strength isn’t expected, where we’re loved not for what we can give, but simply for who we are.

#FindYourCircle#TrueCircle#RealConnections#BuildingYourCircle#WellnessThroughCommunity