The Paradox of Self-Sabotage: A Journey to Self-Discovery and Empowerment

Self-sabotage is a curious reality that affects even the most successful of individuals. It's a paradox. The more successful we become, the more susceptible we are to its effects. And if left unchallenged, it can become one of our biggest obstacles.?

But here's the good news: through a process of introspection and honesty, we can outmaneuver it.? And if we're successful, it can lead to liberation from our limiting beliefs.

In this installment of Inverting Your Mindset, I'll shed some light on self-sabotage so you can take your first steps toward loosening its grip on you.

Read Time: ~3 min - Ready? Let's dive in!

My Experience with Self-Sabotage

As a former Air Force pilot turned author and entrepreneur, I've tried to sabotage my success more times than I can count.?

Despite my success in college, pilot training, and eventually performing with one of the world's most recognizable military demonstration teams, I've struggled to overcome self-doubt and always questioned my competence and abilities.?

Even today, as a successful author and entrepreneur, my self-saboteur is always lurking.?

The Invisible Barriers: Understanding Self-Sabotage

I've found self-sabotage to be a complex dance between my fears and aspirations, coupled with a pursuit of perfection. It's rooted in imposter syndrome, a phenomenon I talk about A LOT.?

I recall times when this internal saboteur held leverage over me. Whether it was doubting my abilities in the cockpit or second-guessing my decisions as a leader, the patterns were similar.?

And these weren't just random occurrences. They were rooted deep in my mind, driven by an underlying fear of failure and a relentless pursuit of perfection.

As I started to recognize these patterns, I began to see how they echoed in the lives of many professionals, particularly women in male-dominated fields.?

From Self-Doubt to Self-Discovery

The transformation from self-doubt to self-discovery is an expedition that demands courage and commitment. It's a journey.

The key to this shift lies in self-reflection and self-compassion. It begins with acknowledging that self-doubt isn't a sign of weakness but a common human experience.?

For me, embracing this truth was a turning point. It allowed me to move from harsh self-criticism to understanding and nurturing my potential.

I remember a pivotal moment early in my flying career. Surrounded by highly skilled pilots, I often found myself wondering if I truly belonged.?

One day, a pilot I looked up to said he was disappointed he was moving onto a new base before becoming my instructor. I was about to start an upgrade program to become a flight lead where I would become qualified to run point for four aircraft formations. As he walked away, he made a fleeting remark that I would have been a fun student because I was a really good pilot. I was taken aback. I did not view myself as a good pilot at all. I thought everyone else around me was better and more capable.

This comment got me thinking and wondering if there was any merit to what he had said. Through introspection, I realized that my self-doubt was not a reflection of my abilities but rather just another challenge to overcome. This shift in thinking allowed me to separate it from my identity and view it as another obstacle like the many others I had dealt with successfully.??

This process isn't about eradicating self-doubt entirely. It's about learning to use it constructively. It's about shifting our mindset to view challenges as chances to learn and grow rather than as threats to our competence or identity.

To those on this journey, know this: Your self-doubt can be a powerful tool for self-discovery. It can guide you to understand your values, recognize your strengths, and ultimately lead you to a more authentic and fulfilling career and life.

Empowerment Through Action: Overcoming the Saboteur Within

Empowerment is an active process. It means taking concrete steps to overcome the internal saboteur and harness our true potential.?

One of the most effective strategies I've embraced is building resilience. This doesn't mean becoming impervious to fear or doubt. Instead, it's about developing the ability to bounce back and learn from each experience, whether it's a success or a setback.?

As a fighter pilot, resilience meant maintaining composure and focus even when missions didn't go as planned. Today, as an author, speaker, and entrepreneur, it means viewing failures as stepping stones, not stop signs.

In improv, there is a phrase commonly used, “yes, and…” This is an acceptance of what the person before you has said and the willingness to add to it. However, I have found this phrase to apply to resilience as well. Next time you have a failure, try it. Yes, I accept that this negative thing just happened. And I’m going to keep moving forward toward what’s next.?

Confidence isn't about knowing you'll succeed every time; it's about believing in your ability to handle whatever comes your way.?

Building confidence can start with small steps: speaking up in meetings, sharing your ideas, or taking on new challenges. Each small victory adds up, gradually shifting your mindset from self-doubt to self-assurance.

Practical exercises also play a crucial role. Simple practices like journaling your achievements, setting realistic goals, and engaging in positive self-talk can significantly impact you.?

These actions help rewire our thought patterns, moving us from self-criticism to self-encouragement.

Remember, overcoming self-sabotage is a journey, not a one-time event!

It requires patience, persistence, and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone. But the rewards – empowerment, confidence, and fulfillment – are well worth the effort.

Action Steps

I challenge you to take a moment today to identify one pattern of self-sabotage you've encountered in your own life.?

Is it hesitating to take on new challenges? Undermining your achievements? Whatever it is, acknowledge it.?

Then, take one small, actionable step towards overcoming it. It could be as simple as affirming your capabilities, setting a small goal, or sharing your thoughts with a trusted colleague.

Your journey to empowerment is ongoing, and every step counts.?

You have the strength and resilience to overcome the obstacles you place in your own way.?

Embrace this journey, and watch as you transform challenges into opportunities for growth and success.

I'm here with you every step of the way.?

Together, let's soar to new heights!

Your Wingman,?

Michelle "MACE" Curran

Did You Miss It? My FREE email mini-course, "Taming Your Inner Critic," is here!

I've packed this course with the insights and strategies I used to go from self-doubt to flying with the Thunderbirds to becoming an entrepreneur.

Over 5 days, you'll get actionable tips to tame your inner critic and unleash your true potential.

I'm offering the course for a limited time, and it's totally free, so sign up now and start your journey to self-empowerment!

Registration is now open! Enroll HERE.

Interested in learning more about what I do?

MY PROGRAMS

Interested in my keynotes and workshops?

Head over to my website to learn more.