The Paradox of Motivation: Finding Balance for True Fulfillment

Motivation is a complex aspect of human behavior, often driving us to achieve our goals and pursue our desires. However, there exists a flip side to motivation that is often overlooked—the extreme ends of the motivation spectrum. In this blog post, we'll explore the dangers of lacking motivation and the equally detrimental consequences of hyper-motivation. By understanding the stages of the contact cycle and the importance of savoring the aftertaste, we can strive for a more balanced approach to motivation and find true fulfillment in our endeavors.

The Two Extremes: Lack of Motivation and Hyper-Motivation

Motivation plays a significant role in our lives, pushing us to set goals and take action. However, when we lack motivation, life can pass us by, leaving us feeling unfulfilled and dissatisfied. Waiting for someone else to tell us what to do can lead to a sense of purposelessness and missed opportunities. On the other hand, hyper-motivation can become an all-consuming drive, where we constantly set and achieve goals without taking the time to appreciate our accomplishments. This relentless pursuit of success can leave us feeling empty and disconnected from the present moment.

Understanding the Contact Cycle and its Four Stages

Gestalt psychology provides us with a valuable framework for understanding our emotional responses and how we move through life—the contact cycle. This cycle consists of four stages: desire formation, desire refinement, desire satisfaction, and the aftertaste. These stages apply to all kinds of desires, from basic needs like hunger to ambitious aspirations such as becoming a CPA or obtaining a law degree.

Stage One: Desire Formation

At this stage, a desire is formed. It could be a simple longing for food or a more complex goal that requires significant effort. Recognizing and acknowledging our desires is the first step toward motivation.

Stage Two: Desire Refinement

In stage two, our desires become more defined, and we identify the specific object or outcome we seek. For example, craving an apple and visualizing the taste and texture of the fruit.

Stage Three: Desire Satisfaction

Stage three is where we spend most of our time. This is the stage where we take action and make our desires a reality. Whether it's earning a paycheck, going to the store to buy an apple, or studying diligently to achieve a goal, this stage represents the peak of our experience.

Stage Four: The Aftertaste

After satisfying our desires, we enter stage four. Here, we savor the aftertaste—the joy and contentment that comes from having accomplished our goals. It is a moment of reflection and appreciation for the fruits of our labor.

The Dangers of Hyper-Motivation and Neglecting the Aftertaste

Hyper-motivation often traps us in a cycle of stages one, two, and three, where we continuously set goals, refine them, and relentlessly pursue them. In this pursuit, we rarely reach stage four—the aftertaste. By neglecting to savor our achievements, we deny ourselves the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of our labor. This unbalanced approach can lead to a sense of emptiness, constant restlessness, and a never-ending search for the next goal without finding true fulfillment.

Seeking Balance and Finding True Fulfillment

To avoid falling into the trap of hyper-motivation, it is essential to be mindful of our desires and goals. Instead of solely focusing on the journey of achievement, we should also embrace the aftertaste—the moments of reflection and gratitude. It is okay to seek fulfillment beyond our work and to find joy in other aspects of life. By understanding the contact cycle and consciously striving for balance, we can experience genuine