The paradox of being the 'best boss'

I find that asking my team for feedback is one of the most transformative leadership strategies.

One approach I love for gathering honest feedback is the T3B3: asking your direct reports to share your top 3 skills and bottom 3 skills. It’s simple, yet profoundly eye-opening.

I had one T3B3 that was deeply impactful. Here’s what I heard:

Top 3: Matt’s the best boss I’ve ever had.

Bottom 3: Matt always comes across as disinterested and distracted.

Needless to say, processing this conflicting feedback wasn’t easy. It felt like a paradox: how could I be seen as both the best boss and as someone disengaged?

After reflecting, I realized that there’s a difference between having an ‘open door’ policy and an ‘open face’ policy.?

No seriously; hear me out.

I thought having my desk “out on the floor” would send a message to people that I was always available as a resource for them. But the reality was, my posture told a very different story when people came over to talk.?

I never verbalized it but I know I would get annoyed when people interrupted me from what I thought was the “real” work—emails, slide decks, and spreadsheets. I’m sure my face wasn’t communicating that I was excited to talk with them and didn’t mind being interrupted.?

And that small reaction of how I responded in those moments is exactly what communicated to my team that I was distracted and uninterested.

So ask yourself: do you have an open face policy? Or just an open door policy??

Small things -> Big impact.?

Theodore Roosevelt says it best: “People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."?

In the heat of a busy business season, when every moment feels like it needs to be spent driving results, pausing to make those relational deposits can feel counterintuitive. But here’s the truth: trust isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s foundational for achieving sustainable success.

Here’s why.

1. Trust boosts engagement and morale. When your team feels valued, they bring their full selves to work, which leads to higher productivity and creativity. Having an intentional question in every 1:1 meeting related to your team members’ personal goals or well-being can go a long way.
2. Trust enables open communication. A trusted leader creates a safe space for honest feedback, empowering their team to solve problems collaboratively and faster. Make feedback a part of your culture by asking for feedback throughout every project or initiative. Your team will follow suit.
3. Trust sustains performance during challenges. In tough times, teams with strong trust are more likely to rally together, stay motivated, and navigate challenges effectively. I’ve found this to be especially true. The more connected each person is to your mission, the more resilient they are during extreme growth, change, or setbacks.

Building trust isn’t just a relational strategy—it’s a performance strategy. When your team knows you care, they’ll go further with you, for you, and for the shared goals you’re driving toward.?

Randy Wootton , CEO of Maxio , relates to my performance-first nature and shares how he’s practically learned to invest in those around him for better outcomes.

Hear his hot take on this week’s LeadrPulse Podcast episode as we discern how to strike the right balance between relationship-driven and performance-driven conversations.

So what do you think??

In high-stakes seasons, should you skip the chit-chat and get straight to business, or could cutting out the relational moments actually hurt your team’s performance?

Lead on,

Matt Tresidder

CEO

Leadr

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