Pandemic Sssh-ilence – When violence hits home – Part 1

Parvati would run out into the narrow lanes of the slum she lives in to call for help from her neighbors, a strategy that usually worked. But now, as her husband began beating her, her run was stopped by a police barricade that had been erected at the entrance of the street, and neighbors called to her from their homes to stay indoors.

FROM THE NEWS:

• France to pay for hotel rooms for victims of domestic violence and also announces an extra 1 million euros in funding for anti-domestic abuse organisations to help them respond to increased demand for services.
•  United Nations called on Sunday for urgent action to combat the worldwide surge in domestic violence. 

The global surge of domestic violence since coronavirus lockdown begs us to pause and look at the “dark” within us. We usually think of domestic violence as physical violence alone. But, that is only one type of abuse. Domestic violence is any behavior the purpose of which is to gain power and control over a spouse, partner or intimate family member. It may be in the form of: Physical Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Control | Emotional Abuse & Intimidation | Isolation | Verbal Abuse: Coercion, Threats, & Blame | Economic Abuse

Yes, physical abuse may place the victim at a higher risk, but in the long term, destruction of person-hood that accompanies the other forms of abuse is significant and cannot be minimized. Abuse is a learned behavior; it is not caused by anger, mental problems, drugs or alcohol, or other common excuses.

Domestic violence is not reserved for women only. Men too are victims. Lesbians, gay persons, bisexual, transgender persons and Persons with Disabilities too experience it too. There is an also an intersection – domestic violence can cause temporary or permanent disability. Victims of domestic violence experience diminished self-worth, anxiety, depression d a general sense of helplessness which more often than not, takes time and professional help to overcome. While women constitute the larger portion of the victim statistics with 35% of the world’s women and girls experiencing domestic violence, different sections of the society have different issues while experiencing and reporting such violence. Let us take a quick look.

Men

For men it is difficult to report. For men to identify themselves as victims of abuse, it’s shameful and most fear that they won’t be believed. Most men are reluctant to notify authorities that they've been abused by women, because it's seen as unmanly and weak. The issue of masculinity is a societal bias - men are not expected to be the weak ones. It is a hard stereotype to work against.

LGBTQ+ community

People from the LGBTQ+ community often face unique challenges when trying to cope with the victimization. The assumption by family, friends, coworkers, and professionals that abuse is an expected part of what is perceived as a dysfunctional relationship since it is not heterosexual, poses major obstacles to battered LGBT individuals in getting help. Another major barrier for LGBTQ+ persons include the fear of losing their jobs, home, family and/or custody of their children should they be “out”-ed in the process of getting help for intimate partner abuse. That not receiving legal and financial protection their heterosexual counterparts do, can also undermine their ability to support themselves and live independently.

Persons with Disability

People with disabilities experience higher rates of domestic violence, sexual assault and abuse and these usually come in the form of non-“traditional” forms. People with disabilities also face additional barriers when seeking help. What’s worse is violence against people with disabilities is not recognized by society to be a significant problem and the needs of victims and survivors are often ignored.

For Persons with Disability, domestic violence could also include

• Using their disability to shame or humiliate them
• Stealing or withholding disability privileges/allowances
• Instigating sexual activity when they know their partner is not capable of consenting

TACKLING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE - WHAT WE CAN DO

1.     Common but very important, Acknowledge the problem exist. That abuse is a reality and maybe much closer to home or maybe at home.

2.     Know what Domestic Violence is. Educate people – especially the marginalized communities on the subject.

3.     Look out for red flags

4.     Build support

5.     Influencers in the society who have also been victims been victims must “Come out”and give courage to the ones suffering.

6.     Speak up against it as a collective.