The Palooka and the Tomato Can

If you don't follow what A.J. Liebling called the sweet science, you may not be aware of what played out in recent boxing news. Here's what you missed:

On December 13th, Mike Coppinger of ESPN published a post with the headline, “Sources: Ex-champs Wilder, Joshua reach deal for March 9 clash”. Coppinger wrote this, in part:?

Former heavyweight champions Anthony Joshua and Deontay Wilder have a deal in place to fight March 9 in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia … but they both must come out victorious and uninjured in separate bouts Dec. 23 in Saudi Arabia's capital to finalize a bout that was first discussed in 2019. Joshua fights Otto Wallin in the Dec. 23 main event in Riyadh, while Wilder meets former heavyweight titleholder Joseph Parker.

?On December 14th, Timothy Rapp of Bleacher Report published a post with the headline, “Report: Deontay Wilder, Anthony Joshua Haven't Agreed to Fight, Have 'Various' Issues”. Rapp wrote this, in part:

ESPN's Mike Coppinger reported that Anthony Joshua and Deontay Wilder had agreed to fight on March 9 in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. But boxing journalist Dan Rafael refuted that report …. saying that no agreement had yet been reached, though the two sides were working toward a March 9 bout.

Both posts might have turned out to be correct. It's boxing. There's no way to tell. But when reality kicked in, they metamorphosed into just so many keystrokes tapped into a capricious wind because ten days after Coppinger's post — and nine days after Rapp's post — Wilder got in the ring with Joseph Parker and Joshua got in the ring with Otto Wallin.

One-Hit Wonder

When push came to shove and shove came to fisticuffs, Wilder proved himself to be the palooka he's always been. Yeah, I know. He knocked out 42 opponents in 47 fights. But check out the caliber of the dudes he took on in his first 40 fights. Against Parker, the so-called Bronze Bomber, the would-be hardest puncher in boxing, neglected to bring his offense. That offense used to consist strictly of a heavy right hand. I'm not saying I'd put my chin in the way of it, even now. But that, apparently, is a mere shadow of its former devastating self. And Wilder never had any defensive skills. Parker coasted to a unanimous decision win over Wilder, putting a fork in Wilder's plan to face Joshua in March.

All of that had been fairly predictable for about five years. On December 1st, 2018, Tyson Fury took Wilder's heart when he got off the canvas in the 12th round to earn a draw with Wilder. On February 22nd, 2020, Fury took Wilder's title by knockout. On October 9th, 2021, Fury retained the title he'd taken from Wilder, again by knockout. Since then, Wilder's only fought twice. He knocked out a fading Robert "The Nordic Nightmare" Helenius in the first round in October of 2022. And then there was Parker. As the inimitable Sal Marciano might have said of Wilder and his career when Marciano was broadcasting Top Rank Boxing on ESPN, "Good night, sweet prince."

The Wilder Card

And then there's Anthony Joshua, one of the more inscrutable heavyweights in the sport. Joshua went undefeated from October 5th, 2013, to June 1st, 2019, acquiring the WBA (Super), IBF, and IBO heavyweight titles along the way. But then he took on Anthony Ruiz, Jr., a kid whose heart was almost as big as his flabby belly. Ruiz stopped Joshua in the seventh round and stopped the boxing world in its tracks.

Joshua came back to win a unanimous decision over Ruiz on December 7th, 2019. A year later, he stopped Kubrat Pulev in the ninth round on December 12th, 2020. Then on September 25, 2021 — and again on August 20th, 2022 — Joshua lost decisions to Oleksandr Usyk, a blown-up cruiserweight, looking confused and tentative on both occasions. At that point in his career, Joshua appeared to be much better at talking than he was at fighting.

He followed the losses to Usyk with a unanimous decision win over Jermaine Franklin on April 1, 2023, and a seventh-round knockout of Robert (the same Nordic Nightmare) Helenius, on August 12th, 2023. And that brought us (and Joshua) to December 23rd.

Joshua's opponent that night was Otto Wallin, a six-foot-five-inch Swede who beat Joshua twice in the amateurs and went undefeated as a pro from June 15th, 2013, to September 14th, 2019, when he lost a unanimous decision to Tyson Fury. He then reeled off six more wins before facing Joshua. In the end, he proved to be, as they say in the parlance of pugilism, a tomato can. He assaulted Joshua's gloves mercilessly and repeatedly with his face for five rounds, after which his corner stopped the fight and almost had to put a tourniquet around his neck to stanch the bleeding.

What's Next?

Where do we go from here? That's as clear to us as it is to Joshua. After stopping Wallin, of course, Joshua was making euphoric, post-victory chin music about taking on anyone, including former UFC heavyweight champion, Francis (The Predator) Ngannou, who'll make short work and mincemeat of Joshua. Joshua's history shows he should be careful what he wishes for.

Tyson Fury most recently squeaked out a decision in a non-title fight on October 28th, 2023, against Ngannou, looking feeble and unprepared in the process and getting put on the seat of his trunks in the third round. Usyk knocked out Daniel Dubois in the ninth round on August 26th, 2023. And as of this writing, Usyk and Tyson are scheduled to fight each other on February 14, 2024, which will end up one of two ways: a deadly bore — like watching the six-foot-nine Fury perform a clumsy pas de deus with a Lilliputian — or a latter-day version of the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre.

It's boxing. There's no way to tell.