"The Painful Path To Becoming A (w)Holy Ghostwriter--Part 5, Section 3

"The Painful Path To Becoming A (w)Holy Ghostwriter--Part 5, Section 3

(A Halloween Short Story Series)

by Kathleen (Kasper-Kat) Armstrong, (w)Holy Ghostwriter

? Sept 16, 2024, ? last updated October 17, 2024

See Notes Below For Previous Posts Of This Short Story Series

Section 3: The Path To Where I Am:

For those who are just now reviewing the notes here for this series, there's no need to go back and read the previous posts to understand where I'm going here today. In the first section on "The Painful Path To Becoming A (w)Holy Ghostwriter" I provide the readers with information about my personal and professional life that (I hope) paints a memorable picture of who I am.

Maybe it's just me, but have you ever noticed a clue about someone's life that led you to wonder? Here's a great example: I was watching a movie, and I noticed this large scar on the actress' face. Scars are fairly common, as are birthmarks and other trademark qualities we possess. This scar was quite visible, and I wondered: how old was she when she had been injured? Was she young, was she a teen? Maybe she was an adult. I've seen plenty of scars and not wondered, yet every scar tells us a story about someone. Visible scars (and invisible ones) help us understand something about who they are that you won't learn by reading their resume. Looking up someone's birthday may provide us with hints about things that shaped their life. Knowing where someone grew up provides yet another hint that helps us to see the whole person we're observing. Every choice someone makes tells us a part of their story, but certainly it's not the whole story. Do you ever stop and wonder--what's the whole story here?

If you go back to review the posts for this series and see the sporadic way each part was posted, it may be helpful to know why. Each post seemed like the most appropriate next step, though seemingly out of order. This is a great picture image of my life. In fact, after I jotted down some notes for today's post, and then decided to create a picture to go with the post. Maybe you noticed the post and that's why you decided to show up here today. Maybe you were curious and wondered -- what part of the whole story I would share here today.

The first post provides little hints as to where each post is going--yet this is only a hint, not the whole story. Fact is, if I were to try to tell you my whole life story--we'd be here for a long, long time; much longer than I think you'd be willing to listen. Are you aware, you don't need immersive reader to hear me? The truth is, the more we get to know people, the more we hear them--whether we're reading something they wrote, and we notice they emphasize certain words in their writing (in the same way that that they do when they are speaking), or they give us "the look" -- that we all know means --"well, you know what!"

Although the first section provides the readers with a picture story of things I've done and people who shaped me. This pathway section tells those who are listening about the internal stuff you only know when someone has taken some time to understand who they are. Do you ever stop and wonder? What's the hole story here? This idea I'm painting isn't only about scars that happen when we're wounded. This hole story tells people about the stuff that is found in the layers of our being.

We're more than our title at our job. We're more than what we do in our home. We're even more than our talents and quirky traits. The short story series provides people with some hints about who I am, and I believe a few of these hints are connected with who you are too.

The Unknowing Path

We grow up following this dark path, not having a clue where we are, let alone where we're going. I rarely hear people talk about the unknowing path; yet, we've all been down this road.

Why is that?

Up, down, up, down, up! I started the image for today's post with this thought in my mind. My life has been a series of mostly trial and error. Sometimes the errors were mine, sometimes they belonged solely to someone else. The weird thing is -- most of my life, I though most every error made was mine. I was so aware of what I didn't know, and amazed at how much others appeared to know, that I failed to see what I did know.

The unknowing path you've been on may not be the same as mine; that doesn't mean you haven't traveled this path. Chances are you've walked down the unknowing path sometime today, and certainly this week. If you said anything to someone and didn't know what they were thinking about what you just said, you were there: sitting smack dab in the middle of the unknowing path, waiting to see if you might learn something you didn't know before.

How often do you notice you're traveling on the unknowing path?

Despite the many times I travel this road, I don't recognize it when I get there. That's the thing about this path, it seems to change, every time you turn around. Click, who turned out the lights? Can we get a light on in here?

Did you notice (that in this short story series) that the stories about a grandpa, a grand-daughter, and a grandson was told at Linkedin; whereas, the story about a father and a daughter (and within time--a son) has been planned for Facebook.

What's the whole story about that?

Truthfully, I don't know. I wrote it--I didn't know why I chose this path--it seemed right. Maybe it won't make a difference, maybe it will. I may learn the whole story--right along with you. Here's the point I'm getting at: to make any progress on the unknowing path, to get to where you know where you are, you have an idea where you're going and you have some clues on how to get there, there's this really important thing you need. It's a metaphysical map called honesty. I've written about this physical dark path I went down as a child many times, where I looked up to the sky and asked God, "why are you following me, if I'm not sure you're real?" What I didn't realize, is that this is the step you must take to go from unknowing, to knowing.

"Fake it, till you make it," might work at fooling others about what you don't know. "Fake it, till you make it," may even buy you some time to figure out what you don't know, but if you're never honest with yourself about what you don't know, you'll never learn what you don't know-- that you could learn when you're honest with yourself about being on the unknowing path.

Up, down, up, down, up.

I thought about making zig-zags and circle back around, but I decided to wait for an idea to emerge. Up, down -- like a rainbow, only it's grey--because I don't quite know where this is going. Ok--how about a row of them? Maybe up the sides? No, not up the sides. Why not a chain of sorts? Oh, yes! A chain is perfect--isn't that what life is like--a chain of events--that are all over the place?

I'm hearing Ann Voskamp in my mind saying, "All is Grace."

"That's what I said! All these grays--reveal a rainbow in the midst of us!"

Like a foggy day, where you're thankful you can see a small portion of the road, but frustrated that you can't see nearly as far as you know you could. I've been on this road so many times before. Here's a few things I encountered on the unknowing path:

I didn't really know (for sure) what my weaknesses and strengths were. Lots of nice people were willing to tell me what they were, so I listened to what they had to tell me. Then one day I realized, "That's not quite right! You see part of the picture, but I think you're missing some important parts." Mind you, this isn't an actual conversation I had with anyone. This was the knowing path that showed up for me, when I wasn't aware I reached a clearing in the road.

Honesty took me here. It can take you there too, if you're willing to go.

As if it's not bad enough to not know what your weaknesses and strengths are, I also found out that I was confused about my passion and what distracted me from living a fulfilling life.

The most well-meaning people try to help us find our way down the unknowing path -- to reach the promise land of overwhelming understanding; however, this can lead you down the wrong path too, if you aren't aware that others don't always know the best thing to do.

Honesty took me here. It can take you there too, if you're willing to go.

I had to realize (when I found the path I needed to follow) that there were many people who thought knew the way to where I needed to go -- but they were only given a small piece of the puzzle of who I am. Not knowing this threw me off course.

Honesty took me here. It can take you there too, if you're willing to go.

Then there was the long path to listening; I've gone down that path more than a time or two. The odd thing is, I've been told that I'm a good listener; and yet, I sometimes listen to things I shouldn't and don't listen well enough to things I should. Having been stuck down this road every so often, I realized:

Honesty took me here. It can show me the way to go too, if I am willing to listen.

Then there was this unknowing path I've traveled over and over, again and again. I get all mixed up and don't know what to do. This is the path to knowing who and what to trust.

Have you been down this path too?

You would think that being a believer would help, but to be frank many times it doesn't. For some reason, we are only given a small piece of this big puzzle, and sometimes it feels as though eternity has passed before we know where the peace we've been given goes.

I found one place that I knew I could trust, so when I'm unsure, I try to remember where to go first. The problem with the unknowing way is this -- it can get you so turned around in loop-de-loops that you forget the path that you took-- when you found your way to understanding before.

Then I remember: Honesty took me here. It can show me what way to go, if I am willing to listen.

Did you look at those lines close in the picture I painted for you here?

It reminds me of something else I learned long ago. It's called knitting. Although there are cables you can knit, would you believe there are no chains? If you wish to create a chain, you must crochet one, dear.

What I loved about knitting (that's different from crocheting), is how closely the stitches come together. Now, I've seen some crochet projects -- where someone has pulled each stitch tightly enough that there aren't these big holes here and there all willy-nilly, yet for the most part, knitting is tightly woven pieces of yarn that keeps people cozy, when it's chilly on that unknowing path.

Now, don't get upset with me if you're an avid crocheter. I know your holes are very-well- planned parts of the pattern you're following. The ironic thing is, with knitting, it's as if the inventor looked at my life and patterned this with me in mind.

Peril -- knit -- peril -- knit -- peril-- knit

I'm not ribbing (or fibbing) with you -- but that's what they call it.

Some of us no sooner finish with one disaster, then we're all knotted up in pieces. That's what my dictionary says that knitting is. It says the Old English term means to create a knot. Maybe they meant, is that we're supposed to learn how to say "NOT!" "I'm not going down that road again." "Been there, done that!" "No thank you madam!"

Ok, granted it says in the good book I bought "pearl, knit, pearl, knit, pearl, knit" is how you create ribbing. It seems to me, the Bible said God ripped one of those ribs out of an atom to make Eve's. That sure sounds like peril to me, not some lovely strand of pearls. Don't you think? And let's not even get started on how everyone is encouraged to go back and do that kindergartener stitch. Listen, I've been to one of those kindergarten classrooms before, and I'm here to tell you that most of them are way back at the beginning of the unknowing road, trying to learn their alpha bet from their omega better.

Seriously, though--when I looked back at my life and figured out what I do know; when I figured out what I am passionate about; when I learned who to trust, and when I became seasoned in listening-- I noticed things that resonated with me. Do you see this now, in the picture I painted here? Those squiggly lines going up and down up and down have a rhythm- it's a tune just for you.

Each time there was something I really needed to hear, something I really needed to know, something I really could trust, the knowing path came into view, and I learned that part of learning to listen well, is being honest with yourself about what fills that hole. It's as if all those stitches see the ointment and get themselves ready for it. Taking all that ointment into those raveled up creases, it's no wonder how people end up with so many wrinkles when they finally grow up.

This is the path to holiness: wholeness is only to be drawn within, when we see what a tangled-up path we've been on, and we're honest about the whole thing. From here, our passions and our strengths, our willingness to listen and to trust join us--because they know they can trust where this honesty will lead them.

Are there people and things that have this way of drawing you in again and again; whereas, other things push you away, only to see that the things that were pulling you close was trying to tell you something that you must know about who you are?

I became aware of this, when I was tempted to tell you today about two people that have shaped who I am today. The two of them were full of wrinkles. I thought of them as two of my favorite people, and then I realized--this doesn't resonate with a strong belief I hold dear.

Why might I prefer one over another, if all are of great value?

And that's when knowing walked up to me (in the midst of that unknowing path) and whispered this truth in my ear, that I needed to hear. Maybe you need to hear this too.

"You were drawn closely to these people at specific times in your life for a reason. Each had something to teach you, if you were willing to listen. That's why you must be drawn close to them. You won't hear what you need to hear, when you're too far away to hear it."

When I thought back to one of the two, I realized the first knew how to draw people in. There was not one person I knew that ever spoke ill of this one of the two. Tho it may not seem odd; most everyone I know has had someone speak ill of them at one point or another, but not one. It's taken me a long time to learn what it is I was meant to learn from this.

If you think I was meant to learn how to draw people in, so that they love me and will listen, you're wrong. Most of us would love to learn how to do this; yet that doesn't mean that's something we must do. No, I learned that I needed to learn the secret (this one knew) about listening well, for once you've drawn someone in, if you don't listen, you'll miss the hint of something missing--and know what to do.

Do you see (now) this listening path is a two-way street that all must go through? If you're not the one being drawn in, then you may be the one that's drawing someone in too.

It's ok to walk the unknowing path from time to time. If it wasn't, we would have not had to follow this path for so long. Yet, we also must know when we need to step off the unknowing path, in order to do something we're meant to do and know what we're meant to know.

Up, down, up, down. Up the path we go.

Is it not amazing, that this picture I drew -- happens to also look like the sole of your shoe -- and the grey matter in your brain? I certainly didn't plan it that way.

I know someone who might have planned this, this way -- Do you?

Year after year, I was sure that someone else had all the answers. I was reminded of an old tune I heard years ago. I thought I might begin this story here-- and today I decided not to.

I may jump on in here later to provide you that tune -- however -- I genuinely believe this story alone is something that will draw someone in, real close, and it's not because I'm more important than others. It's not because I am the best writer there is. It's not because my spiritual connection is perfect. It's because there is something they needed to hear.

Up, down, up, down, up the path you go.

You don't need to be a writer to need to hear this. You don't need to believe in all the same things that I believe in, to need to hear this. The only thing you need to know, is that you have a hole that needs filling and your willingness to listen, is telling you something.

Listen, I'm not here to tell you what you want to hear. There are tons of things that draw us close that isn't good for us. That's not the point.

There's an honest truth I'm telling you that you need to know is true: when we don't have all the pieces to the puzzle figured out, peace reminds us--the next best piece we need to pick up, when we're willing to listen. Believe me I know.

I know many things that I don't know and a few of the things I do. The point of me writing this, is to tell the truth to you.

There's another amazing truth that seems to have drawn me in, again and again. Maybe you've been here before yourself. If you've ever heard a quote that you need to hear again and again, then you may love what I'm about to tell you.

I noticed a pattern between two writers I've followed for years. The two are found in the New Testament of the Holy Bible, known as Matthew and James. Matthew (though seen by some as being "anti-Jewish" in some of the things he said, is known for being the most knowledgeable writer (in the New Testament) of the "Holy Bible" about the Jewish perspective, than any of the other writers. This is not something I am saying, this is what was noted in the "Complete Jewish Study Bible," by Hendrickson Publishing.

*Infact, "The Complete Jewish Study Bible" reveals a pattern that is sewn in throughout the book of Matthew to indicate (by way of a precise phrase he uses, five times) he's knowledgeable about the structure and the five books written by Moses.

*Though I can't guarantee these notes will be included in the introductory of Matthew of "The Complete Jewish Study Bible," the information about the pattern Matthew had sewn is found in the 2016 version I purchased. Not listed as "a pattern sewn," the introduction DOES show readers the precise words Matthew (repeatedly stated) and where to see each statement, within the book Matthew wrote.

James is the other writer, whose words have also resonated with me for years, was known to be a rabbi; someone who knew the religious law and apply it well. Here is the passage that has always resonated with me that James has to say:

"If you're unsure of what you should do, just ask God; he's known for being generous to a fault and what He knows will fill in the gaps of what you lack. Whatever you do, don't second guess you will receive what you need for one minute. If you don't trust the process, you'll be sunk-- wave after wave will pull you under, there's no doubt about it! Up and down you'll go, until the wind knocks you off-course." (James: 1: 5-6) KKV-- A paraphrase of Kathleen (Kasper-Kat) Armstrong, (w)Holy Ghostwriter

If that doesn't float your boat, there's more. Do you know what James' Hebrew name?

Jacob.

If you don't know about Jacob, Genesis 25 tells the story about Jacob (the younger of two siblings) -- who was chosen by God for a certain mission.

Many are convinced Jacob became the overseer of the twelve tribes of Israel largely due to dishonesty; however, pay close attention and see who is drawn to him. In order to reverse the way things normally would have played out, someone had to be involved in bringing this about. In other words, someone had to sense a reason for the change in the "the way things are normally done." Yet, that alone didn't cinch the deal for Jacob.

Jacob had to wrestle with a thing or two, before he was chosen by God to fulfill the blessing that he was meant to fulfill.

The reasoning for Jacob being chosen shows through both James (another Jacob) and another chosen, younger sibling: namely David: a shepherd.

James role was and is that of a truthful nurturer who is an advocate for those who are believers and yet are struggling in areas of their faith walk. Here's how I know this. Pay close attention to the first verse in the book of James.

Even though Paul went to great lengths to inform believers (and unbelievers) of his Jewish heritage, Paul wrote to specific congregations, not to the Israelites. James, on the other hand specifically writes "to the twelve tribes." In other words, this was written to people who James knows are currently (strong) believers yet need someone who will encourage them to continue growing in their faith.

Problems Paul dealt with (though written to the churches) were written to churches that encouraged young believers. For this reason, Paul's mission was unlike that of James.

Where Paul had to point out false believers who were causing disruptions within the church, James needed to assist the older believers to journey on -- and see the unknowing path that lies before them.

Matthew (also well-versed in the Tanakh) was meant to learn this, in order to both evangelize to unbelievers, and to shepherd the two distinctive types of believers Jesus prepared him to serve. Both the religious Jews (who Jesus said he came to serve) and the gentiles who God had chosen to include, created a tension--thereby Matthew fulfilled a gap that was needed-- to mediate between the two.

There's one thing I forgot to mention -- about those very layered people I felt drawn towards from the time I was quite young. One (the advocate nurturer), was known for presenting the truth in a very honest and straightforward way; the other (a nurturer who listened well) learned to hear well, so that he could tell others what they needed to hear.

Call it a fluke -- I believe there's more to it. It just so happens that I am the youngest of two siblings: both of us believers, and yet I sensed the pull for many years, before being wrestled into what I do today.

I thought one's "calling" would be different. You know you're being pulled -- and God opens the door. It's as simple as that. Now, don't get me wrong here, but how crazy is that--of all the people in the world that say (it's as simple as that) --I immediately think of Huey Lewis and the News. No, not the Newsboys that sing all sorts of tunes about God; but an old rock-n-roll band that isn't usually thought of when you're in the mood to spread some Good News about God to a variety of people.

Believe it or not, the album (Fore!) Meaning "look out!" not only has the song "Simple as that," about the challenges of finding one's calling--

At the top of the list on this album is the song "Jacob's Ladder." I kid you not! (That's a statement to God, in case you couldn't tell).

See what happens when I plan not to include any link notes! Up, down, up, down--and link after link we go! How I'll finish this, God only knows!

A Few (Unplanned Link Notes) For Those Who Are Waiting For This:

1. Look out, you can purchase and hear the songs on the Fore! album by Huey Lewis and the News here at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000T02OJQ/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2WB0PKL4XH0H7&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.bGAyg2zw7QAo-A8c45Sf9vW3nomhKwjLVeq_bKj87Mx7X7vzw-9ThxC2L-ZHT889ataYJjMO-AaPXHJUF2WE0QTr7xvfAaY3gk6GpRdEJwqyJfQTUFlrDnoDvwzr_3if7Ls7HZevbMB0bCYYA-1hRGKRrcAP3x8ols23KxL3NLfaj5iAL3Ww0r4cE5RuBIofymIqWYcy3Hkv95qcI71saH0f6KiqIlUSWle45AapWjk.j7beTKPpfGmxe3iNtrZeUeZvUrelWA5Y57SiTKJxK9U&dib_tag=se&keywords=huey+lewis+and+the+news+fore%21&qid=1729199326&sprefix=huey+lewis+and+the+news+fore+%2Caps%2C193&sr=8-1

2. The same version of "The Complete Jewish Study Bible" by Hendrickson Publishers that I purchased is here at Christianbook: https://www.christianbook.com/the-complete-jewish-study-bible/9781619708679/pd/708679?event=BRSRCQ

3. "God's Not Dead" (the song) at Itunes by Newsboys is here: https://music.apple.com/gb/song/gods-not-dead-like-a-lion/721244627

Now, I'm not sure who God is trying to convince more, me or you -- but this song just so happens to be the first song that came to mind, due to the fact that this song is the theme of a whole series of movies. Here's the most convincing news--my birth month is August--making my "sign" leo--the lion. When you take a listen, you may see how this is pretty convincing about one's calling. "Hello! Is there something else you'd like to say?" Kay, now. I guess I'll leave it at that for now.

4. Many retail locations have the "God's Not Dead" movie series; however, the

God's Not Dead (four-movie collection) is here at Barnes and Noble:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/god's%20not%20dead%20movie

5. A trailer of the first movie in this series, along with the ability to buy or rent this at youtube is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEoRSHEFk2Q

--

The other posts for this series are here:

1. An Introduction To the Series:

Linkedin: https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/painful-path-becoming-wholy-ghostwriter-introduction-kathleen-0oi7c/?trackingId=O2o7LzU9Se6d%2BpKHcw7wpw%3D%3D

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kasperkatisinhymntogod/posts/pfbid02cJb1GrJipVgiWUrVg8ZG7rsHC2EH7WFSkWnCVCXbZ6wLef48XYm3p9EHuNvPTMHKl

2. "The Painful Path To Becoming A (w)Holy Ghostwriter--Part 5, Section 1

Linkedin: https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/painful-path-becoming-wholy-ghostwriter-part-5-short-kathleen-0kzwc/?trackingId=O2o7LzU9Se6d%2BpKHcw7wpw%3D%3D

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kasperkatisinhymntogod/posts/pfbid02i8GJuVwsLiBxUcgzqP7icEB6LPkbiLpqWAED9khSboegyNkxLEVw1qb97gYzm2t3l

3. "Grandpa's Favorite: Getting a Good Sense of The Holidays" by Kathleen (Kasper-Kat) Armstrong, (w)Holy Ghostwriter

Linkedin: https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/grandpas-favorite-getting-good-sense-holidays-kasper-kat-armstrong-phu4c/?trackingId=vZ9%2B6kj8TD2oiy4r0w53xQ%3D%3D

4. "Creativity At Work In Tellie" (The Unknowing Grandson) by Kathleen (Kasper-Kat) Armstrong, (w)Holy Ghostwriter

Linkedin: https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/creativity-work-tellie-kathleen-kasper-kat-armstrong-fmoac/?trackingId=WScF9bUXQ4ia1z5NkuTrsw%3D%3D

5. "A Father's Love Story: Teaching Us Further More About Love Than Wisdom Ever Did" by Kathleen (Kasper-Kat) Armstrong, (w)Holy Ghostwriter

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kasperkatisinhymntogod/posts/pfbid0ZYhiaRiRmDrdyEkFuevQnSk8mmdaNXpxGAJnHHvEXJuYfE4g9cv4DVHGuv2MamT