Getting Unstuck

The first step to ending our own unhappiness -- often experienced as “feeling stuck” -- is recognizing that all unhappiness exists in the mind. Unhappiness isn’t something that comes from “out there.” 

To be clear, our environment has a role to play in our health and well-being. Poverty, homelessness, discrimination, lack of food, education and proper medical care are all still glaringly widespread in our society and our world, and must be addressed. For this post, I’m simply referring to the “everyday unhappiness” that results from our own reactions to day to day events.

Feeling Stuck

Unhappiness results from feeling stuck in the stories we are telling ourselves, typically involving themes of unfairness, helplessness, or hopelessness.

At it’s most basic level of functioning, the human mind is constantly screening the internal and external environment for dangers and opportunities. The body is engineered to notice stimuli as either pleasant, unpleasant or neutral.

Learning To Get Unstuck

By training our ability to become aware of the subconscious micro-judgements that we are constantly making, we can take the first step in regaining control of our habitual judgment and reactivity, which is often the source of our unhappiness and mental suffering.

Here’s an exercise to help us get to know our minds and discover the roots of some of the habits that lead to unhappiness:

1. Stop what you are doing (after reading this page)
2. Set a timer for 60 seconds and take a comfortable seat.
3. Become aware of the various sensations coming into your awareness.
4. Scan your body from head to toe noticing any sensations that are already there. Become aware of any sounds near and far.
5. Gently notice and label the tactile and auditory stimuli as they are as either “pleasant”, “unpleasant”, or “neutral”.
6. Notice the natural tendency to shift away from the unpleasant or to linger on the pleasant.

The First Step

This first step is crucial to developing a sense of deep calm, a way of relating to all incoming signals that is more detached and less reactive. I hope you’ll give it a try and see what happens.

Wishing you a day with a bit more calm and a lot more courage, creativity, and connection.

?? Photo by Jonathan Fisher, MD

#happiness #pain #stress #mindfulness #meditation #selfcare