The Pain Of Black Leaders Fell On Deaf Ears, Until George Floyd Paid The Ultimate Sacrifice.

It’s no longer acceptable to say “I don’t see color.” History will be changed forever, starting today.

This has been the most challenging week of my life, as both a leader and a parent of a young, bi-racial brown son. There have been moments that I have locked myself in the bathroom and cried into a towel to muffle the sound of my screams, as I began to have nightmares of the image George Floyd calling for his mother, and the agony he felt in his last moments.

Honestly, my cries have been as a result of years of suppressing my own frustrations about the value of black lives and the failure to promote qualified black talent. To say that black people have been trying to be seen as equally valuable in the country for decades is an understatement. We have the same level of education, qualifications, and experience — yet we must work 3X more to achieve half as much.

The microaggressions and biases that we have felt as we express our feelings in the workplace and in business have gone over-looked for too long. In addition, diversity and inclusion “jobs” have now transitioned into a role, where companies hire an outside “marginalized” expert, and use them as a magnet to fill racial quotas. These days, “diversity” is the new hit word, and corporations have been taking advantage of it for optical gain, rather than sourcing talent and looking at the world as it exists today.

In fact, as a leader, I have been called “very well spoken, for a black woman,” by many white investors and decision makers, as if they were expecting something different. As I have walked away biting my tongue in disgust, I have mastered the art of choosing specific battles to avoid the stigma and stereotype of becoming the Angry Black Woman. Instead, calming my mind with positive thoughts by conversing with friends and family, who share some of the same frustrations of the microaggressions that have peeled away at the soul and confidence of brilliant, educated talent and thought leaders-who happen to be black.

The social unrest today is 50 years of sweeping the issues under the rug. The televised murder of an unarmed black man, whose death is as a result of being accused of fraud, is no different than Bernie Madoff, except race. Even more alarming is that it had to take death to breathe life into a conversation that black people have been engaged in since the Civil Rights Movement.

What can you do to help?

LISTEN & LEARN Instead of Comparing

I attended an event in 2019 where three founders where discussing the challenges of vetting investors. Two of the panelists where white, and the other was black. As the black founder shared his story about his challenges, the other two white panelists immediately discounted it as the “wrong approach.”

Although marginalization may not be your experience, you must not discount the experiences of others. You may not relate to their story, but it is their truth. Listening gives you an open platform to learn of deficiencies in the market. Do not assume that your experience is normal, when it is only normal due to your head start.

Invest

The disinvestment in communities of color has a generational impact that is difficult to break. I have been privileged enough to break specific generational cycles in my family, but it was as a result of my family investing in our success.

My parents sent us to the best private schools, owned a successful wine shop in Brooklyn, we traveled the world (Europe, Canada, Caribbean, etc), and focused on the arts. I did not know that was not the experience of all black people until I went to Hofstra University, when a few of my white classmates assumed that I was an exchange student or a “quota” kid, who was awarded a scholarship to get out of the “harsh” Brooklyn streets.

In fact, many of the assumptions that are made about black people and the black experience often subjects us all to the same level of destitution because of the level of disinvestment in black communities. Today, that disinvestment has allowed gentrification and the sub-prime housing crash of 2008 to move the needle even further back on the possibility of closing the gap of wealth equality.

Investing in black communities does not mean starting a “black fund” similar to SoftBank with their The Opportunity Growth Fund. It means to genuinely invest in communities of color through education and leadership development programs to close the knowledge gap. Investment also means equal access to banks and financial education, rather than check cashing entities and payday loans, which are conveniently not required to adhere to Usury Laws. We don’t need a handout, we need to access to equal investments.

Be Aware

My 15 year old son attends a very high achieving preparatory academy, which is primarily white. This school year, his required novel for English class was To Kill A Mockingbird. As soon as I saw the book, I had an immediate panic attack. This novel traumatized me when it was a required reading for me in high school.

To read a book, written in the 1950’s, about an interracial relationship, the false accusation of rape and how the black character was shot in the back and murdered. In addition, the N-word throughout the book as the white father is framing a crime of an innocent black man — it is traumatic. Over the years, I learned that it was no longer a required novel, but my sons school reinstated it.

I spoke up and the English teacher stated that it is a “Classic novel!” I recently shared my thoughts about this great novel on Twitter, and realized many people did not realize the message and tone of the novel.

At a time when innocent men of color continue to be accused of crimes, such as Amy Cooper calling the police on Christian Cooper in New York City for asking her to place a leash on her dog. Amy may have lost her job, but Christian could have lost his life.

Be aware! The racial trauma of people of color is 400 years old. It is a multi-generational pain filled with experiences that are difficult to explain without a level of anger. From being over-worked and underpaid with the same qualifications, to the talks black families must have with their children about safety — it is generational pain!

Ask

We live in a world, where if no one complains, we believe all is well. In fact, black women have silently been grieving over the pain of pay inequity in the workplace and business for years.

The National Women’s Law Center says Black women working full time, year-round are paid only 61 cents for every dollar paid to their white, non-Hispanic male counterparts. According to the Federal Reserve, the average annual sales for businesses owned by black women was $27,752 , compared to $143,731 for all women and $170,587 for white women.

The value disparity for all women remains at 21% on average, but it does not reflect race. Black women are aware they are underpaid, but scared to discuss money with their white co-workers and friends. Why? Well, it continues to remain an assumption that all women are underpaid, when in fact, the fight for equal pay is not equal.

If we want gender equality, all races must be included in the fight. If your black colleagues or fellow founders are not discussing money, please understand it is due to shame. You can start the conversation and help boost their confidence about value, so we are all equipped with the same tools.

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For the first time in history, we have a health pandemic, a social justice pandemic and an economic pandemic at the same time. They have all caused us to shift our behaviors and learn how to live in a new normal. However, we must never normalize marginalization. Please note, the pain of black and brown people has always been very real, and not “over dramatic.” Although this is country filled with promise and hope, it has different definitions of how to achieve the same guarantees.

Try empathy, not judgement.

Carol Sankar is a high level consultant and the founder of The Confidence Factor for Women in Leadership. She has been featured at TEDx, The Steve Harvey Show, Harvard Business School, The United Way and more. In addition, her work has been covered by Inc. Magazine, Glamour, O Magazine, Forbes, Harvard, Entrepreneur Magazine — to name a few. Carol is also a contributor for Inc., & Entrepreneur Magazine. For more details, visit www.carolsankar.com