Pacing Yourself

My mind works at a million miles an hour. Sometimes I wish I could stop it. A friend asked me the other day if I could sit by a pool on holiday doing nothing and seemed surprised to hear that I’d last about 30 mins before needing to get up and do something!

By the way, Im not saying this is healthy or aspirational, probably the opposite.?

I write this post today for a couple of reasons. One, because I’m fairly certain a lot of Entrepreneurs are wired this way so hopefully it will land with someone and help. Secondly because I wanted to share something I learnt when I went through my own mental health challenges a few years ago.?

Today marks the week before the anniversary of our loss of Charlie. Until today I didn’t think I was going to be as affected, but I woke this morning feeling awful, empty in fact. I’ve not felt this way for a while but my instinct kicked in and I started to put into practice the coping mechanisms I’d learnt (and wrote about) a few years previous.?

Immediately I took myself out of the work environment. I called my wife and asked if she’d like to go swimming. We did. I messaged my colleagues at work and explained what I was feeling and why. I’ve found that sharing is so important - I don’t want people to think I’m shirking my duties and off having a jolly. They know I’m good for it and I more than make up for it when I’m on form. I cleared the majority of my diary, leaving one meeting I was looking forward to in.?I then sat down to write this blog. I’ve always found writing cathartic.

When you’re fixated by work and suddenly you can’t concentrate (it feels a bit like brain fog) your natural instinct is to fight it, to try everything you can to get through. This is bad. In days gone by I’d have pushed myself, gone to all my meetings, made phonecalls, sent emails, tried to pretend I was fine. Occasionally I might of hidden away from people thinking it was ok to do so but at any moment they could ring or text and if I don’t reply then there is always the risk I make things worse. They get frustrated and I feel worse. In mental health terms this is the equivalent of bottling stuff up and the trouble with that, is when the bottle is full there is no where left for it to go.?

I learnt the term ‘pacing’ a few years ago from my wife who was struggling with ME at the time. Essentially its about being mindful of your abilities and not pushing yourself. In her situation it was about not overdoing physical excercise. In my situation its about caring for my mind. Doing my best to take myself out of situations that create anxiety or concern and it really works. I know that tomorrow is another day and today is about getting through. If I look after myself today then I can be better tomorrow, and if I’m not, its ok, I’ll do the same again.?Most things can wait for a day or two and if they really can’t, if you’ve been honest about your situation, you’ll find it easier to ask someone for help.

Of course I realise that this is more tricky if you work for someone but if you’re in that situation then I’d encourage you to have open conversations with your employers. Pushing yourself won’t help you or them.?

If you’re a leader in your business or work for yourself then look after number one because if that breaks then anyone else who relies on you will be at risk too.