Own your No, to honour a yes!!

Until we each own our no, then Yes means nothing! This impacts us all whether we like it or not, we each play a part in this circus, and yes we can each have a powerful impact, by owning and taking responsibility for every area of our lives, with our best ability, at the time.

Excuse my ignorance as there is no newspaper quotes, I stopped reading the paper 9 years ago, and stopped watching the news, many moons around the same time.

My so-called ignorance of the news is also a saving grace to allow inner wisdom to download to join the dots without getting blinded in the smokescreen of lies and BS. Whilst grateful for friends who are reliable sources.

I do however pick up to vibe of conversation and this is one of many that I’ve been sitting with. Often the words need time to marinate the bring into free expression that is being considerate to all parties. Hey, I know this will not please all, and if my intention to please everyone, then this was be one boring read!

The conversation of consent. If this steams ahead, there will be blood on all our hands and here is a point of view on a bigger picture. The stuff beyond the smokescreen of fear, the manipulation that many are unaware of... and the rest.

Own your No, to honour your YES.

This is a huge topic, that is a root cause of what is happening, and where many men are now wondering, how do I approach a lady, how do I make the first move, and what if I put a step wrong. What if we have sex, she regrets it, and then she says I raped her, or to was non-consensual? I bet this has gone through many men’s minds. Getting accused of sexual assault for going to kiss a woman, WTF!! Really?? This is public outrage, and who is standing by the men?

Who is standing alongside the men? Why is it the men that are copping it? What about the women that shout, hit and abuse men? That say no, and they are unheard?

Here a bit of my humble perspective as a woman who has seen, experienced, more than most.

• To be the one that has muttered a half assed no, so quiet it was never heard, afraid of my own rejection, desperate to feel loved.
• To mutter a no, and ignored my inner instinct and did it anyway, fear of him leaving.
• To have said no more than once, to freeze within, no resistance, numb within.
• To have been raped for 6 hours, scared for her life, to be silent for 2 years, and where the word no became silent.
• Who was afraid to say no, as feared being rejected, and wanting to feel loved.
• To saying no, when I really wanted to say Yes, afraid that my friends would call me a slut.
• Never spoke up, kisses rejected, fucked on his terms, I chose to stay for years, never spoke up, and for a long time made him wrong. I had a voice. One dayI learnt to say NO and am grateful.
• To saying no to a friend’s father as he tried to seduce me when I was only 18 years old, and then she judged me. I lost my best friend and was called a whore, shamed by others.
• To saying no to exploring sensual desires, afraid of ‘slut shaming’.
• To owning my YES. To honour my pleasure. Free of shame. Free of guilt. Free of blame.

I wonder how many can relate to this? Even having a one-night stand and feeling shame for it, making the other wrong and avoiding self-respobibility, or making the story more colourful to cover up what really happened, the guilt eating away within.

It is time to stop judging both men and women.

In this....

I’ve learn to own my NO.

I learnt what a YES was.

I learnt to accept rejection, to honour another’s NO.

I learnt to ROAR, to speak my truth.

To raise the bar, to own thy voice.

The others were ALL teachers, until I honoured my worth.

Let me be clear… No one deserves to be raped, no one wants to be raped. It is how we move forward.

What we can each do is empower one another to honour our self-love, self-worth and that begins within. Being kind in our choices, learning from our unconscious choices, forgiving our past, and ourselves in what we think we have done wrong. It is time to see one another with love and compassion and have empathy for one another and stop blaming events outside of ourselves.

It’s easy to place blame on others. To point the finger into what they have done, fuck when does it stop. It stops with taking some self-responsibility and that takes COURAGE. It means being willing to be VULNERABLE and EXPOSED.

If it was easy, more people would feel free of the past!!

My heart feels heavy and sad, as I see the bigger picture. I am about to paint it as best as my hands attempt to keep up with my mind.

This new rule on consent… is only the beginning. STOP RELYING on some new fucking rule as it is taking away our free will, freedom of choice, power to choose and is especially impacting our MEN.

Women and men if you have children, then wake-up!!!! As they will become adults too, in whatever their sensual choices are theirs to make, with free will. I really feel for the men, as a passionate woman, as there is nothing more seductive than a man who is willing to ravish a woman. They have established connection, the kisses are warm and inviting, hands exploring, feeling out one others energy… and now men are afraid, in case he makes a mistake, or she thinks it is a mistake. A regret in the heat of passion? As she didn’t mean to go so far…

GUILT sets in and GUILT will ALWAYS LOOK for another to stand besides, welcome its faithful buddy BLAME. They feed off from one another, and soon SHAME comes along for the party!!

Are we really that STUPID to give out power away to another thing like this??

As a society unless we all step up and treat one another with mutuality, love, respect, which starts with SELF, then we will be giving away our human rights of sensual pleasure in the way we know it. On the topic of respect, I never feel another has to earn my respect. Respect if a given from immediate connection, eye to eye, soul to soul, heart to heart… TO SEE THY SELF, the reflection. The greater the rejection, then the greater the divide in the ability to love that which is being judged. To say another has to earn respect is saying they cannot be trusted.

Imagine how different life would be, if you treated one another equally?

I cannot think of anything worse than placing blame on another, just because one has not honoured their own voice. Where does self-responsibility play out in this. I reflect back on what I’ve experienced, and I attracted teachers to honour my NO. Yes, its extreme, I hope others are faster learners than I was. I blamed, shamed, and made others wrong for more than 30 years of my life. For what?

It avoided me taking responsibility, ownership for the relationships I was in, stuck in the victim, a mind-fuck merry-go around. Until one can fully own their no, then a yes means nothing. I have learnt to forgive them all and most vital my self.

This permission BS is fucking crazy… I will explain what I see it creating in our future. When you say yes, through body language, words that the other can hear clearly, then a NO is very clear and there is no confusion. If it is not heard by the other, then raise your No, to a louder voice, clear and very direct!!

No one deserves to be disempowered.

No one deserves to be raped.

No one deserves to have their freedom restricted.

It is time to STOP making this about making men wrong.

I have two sons, and I hope as they grow into men they are able to act on their sensual passions with another, that they are drawn to another soul, with no outside checking or clocking in, to have the moment of passion paused to get permission… of CONSENT…WTF are we doing??? And allowing???

This will lead to more Virtual reality SEX

This will lead to Robots replacing partners.

This will FUEL the FEAR.

This will eliminate our desire for TOUCH, to touch and be touched.

Babies will not develop in a healthy way.

Disease will increase.

Depression will increase.

Mental health will reach catastrophic states.

Killing will INCREASE.

When a society is denied and disempowered to release sexual charge as in love-making, spontaneous passion, intimate connections and there are restrictions… then power will be sought elsewhere.

More deviance and a bigger underworld of sex, and more violence.

It is ENERGY and energy will find a way to be discharged!

I’d rather fuck like a pagan, raw and wild as that is to some, to be free, passionate, a whore to some perhaps, and to love deeply and seduce the one I choose to be with, or he/she seduce and ravish my body as he/she desires. To allow the dancing of energies, our breaths leading the way and explore depths of sensuality that so many never get to taste. We have sex for pleasure, and yes procreation… yet it is more for pleasure, as it feels good and gives us a taste of what we have forgotten… a normal state of being. This is key to fuelling our creativity and connecting with one another. Compared to virtual sex and robots, I will always prefer living flesh!

Are you willing to give that away? I am not.

Wake the fuck up, as this is a trap, and only the beginning of something far more sinister than you can comprehend. It brings tears to my eye, as humanity was beginning to connect on a deeper level and here we are another trickery to de-sensitize…. And sanitize our human race. We are sensual in nature. Our life-force is SENSUAL. Are you willing to no longer exist?

Do I wish to ask permission, in intimacy NO. I know if it is a yes or a no, from a kiss and a simple, a touch I feel it and when not feeling it, then express that with love? I am able to own my No, as I have a voice. We each are.

It is time to empower others to have a voice, and build up self-esteem and self-love, let’s begin there and focus on that, and away from making men live in fear of being made wrong?

When I work with clients in a sensual massage setting, there are boundaries set at the beginning and that is, there are very clear from BOTH sides. Some say, I have no boundaries … my response, “So it is okay that I bring you pain and hurt you, or draw blood?” He/she usually realise that boundaries are vital and need to be owned. To keep checking in, to me is creepy and yuk and the touch in the hands is not firm and direct, it feels off. Simply when something feels uncomfortable then it is a no, and that is honoured, immediately.

To keep asking permission, can I touch you, can I kiss you… afraid to put a step wrong will kill intimate passion, our primal desires and connection already screaming out for help!! and there is massive numbness in society!

So many men being blamed, afraid to put a step wrong, humanity fighting against one another. It is another ploy to keep us trapped, to dumb the masses out, and we each have a CHOICE.

The seeds of FEAR are planted--- then comes the solution.

The solution- a poison in disguise.

Tame and numb the sensual energy- You play along in CULLING Creativity- And individuals forget their power!!

It is time to rise.

Own your fucking NO

Stop giving your power away

Say no to these fucked up rules.

Support and stand alongside your MEN.

If you have a regret, then forgive your soul as we are far from perfect. Stop beating yourself up and take responsibility for how you feel and begin to break free of the prison… be free.

When the changes come, then we EACH have a CHOICE. You are no a fucking robot so step up and make your own choices. 

May this inspire you to see a bigger picture,

Let me know your thoughts, all options are valid and welcome.

Zoe

#Society #Humanity #Consent #No #OwnIt #Men #Women #Empower #Rise