Own Your Awesome

Have you ever wondered, “What’s the opposite of imposter syndrome?”

For someone who may struggle with imposter syndrome it’s a perfectly reasonable question.

Because you see, humans tend to view life in black and white.

If not this, then that.

Especially when it comes to our lists of Don’t Wants and Do Wants.

Our Do Wants tend to default to the opposite of our Don’t Wants.

And if it’s imposter syndrome that we’re struggling with, it makes perfect sense to Want The Opposite. Unless the opposite by definition is equally undesirable.

If you were to google – The opposite of Imposter Syndrome, you’ll get the following:

“The?Dunning-Kruger Effect?refers to a cognitive bias in which a person has excessive confidence in their abilities, but their actual skills don't match up to their self-perception. It's often presented as the polar opposite of impostor syndrome.”

So basically, extreme arrogance.

But, is that really the opposite?

I mean… Okay. Maybe by definition.

But in a practical sense, is that the real definition?

It’s absolutely not.

In fact, the true opposite is something much more empowering.

The true opposite of Imposter Syndrome is a willingness to acknowledge your talents, skills, and attributes and the value that you bring to those you serve.

To put it simple – Recognize the value that you bring to the table.

In 1994 I was living in Annapolis Maryland. I was out on an errand with a friend who needed to stop at the United States Naval Academy to follow up with their head soccer coach. My friend was considering playing soccer there and met with the coach to explore the possibility.

Now understand, this friend had played soccer since he was five years old. His father was the head coach of the women’s soccer team at a college in Utah. He played on high level traveling teams from the age of 12 until playing college soccer on a full ride scholarship for a year before taking a two year deferment.

This was before there were pro clubs in the USA. But he had every bit of confidence that he could land a spot on a division 2 or 3 club in Europe.

His purpose for stopping in at the Academy was to check and see if the head soccer coach had done any due diligence on my friend who had expressed a desire to play soccer for the Academy. This was 2 to 3 weeks after his initial contact and giving his player resume with the coach.

To my friend’s surprise, the coach had not done the follow-up that he said he would do. To which my friend said, “On second thought, never mind. If you don’t care enough about the success of your team to take an hour to follow up and find out whether or not you have a winning asset in your hands, I wouldn’t even want to play for you.” My friend thanked him for his time, and we walked out of his office.

I almost couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed. And honestly, I wasn’t sure what to even make of it.

I had been accused during that time of my life of being a bit cocky, especially by some who didn’t really take the time to get to know me. However, I was convinced that this was beyond anything I could possibly have displayed. And it wasn’t until much later in my life that I was able to glean one of the most important life lessons I’d ever learned by witnessing that brief but powerful act.

You see, my friend had absolutely no doubt or question about the value that he would bring should he be recruited to play soccer for The United States Naval Academy Soccer Program. I had watched him play soccer against players from all parts of the world – and to be honest, neither did I. Yet, we are often convinced – erroneously so – that it’s somehow bad or wrong to openly express confidence in who we are and what we have to offer.

It wasn’t until January of 2005 that this lesson bore its first real fruit.

I was interviewing for my first opportunity in the Personal Coaching Industry for the company formerly known as Stephen Covey Coaching. Mind you, this was the first time I’d ever gone through what’s known as a “Postured Interview Process”. On three or four occasions during the interview I felt as though the person interviewing me was trying to take something away from me that was rightly mine. In my heart of hearts, I believed that I had earned the role and that he was not going to get away with trying to take it from me.

His final question was this – “Is there anything else that you’d like to say or add that might make a case for why we should pick you over someone else?”

And then, in what was almost an instinctive act, I sat forward in my chair, looked him square in the eyes, and said, “Your company will absolutely be better by having me”. Then I folded my arms, sat back in a relaxed manner, and didn’t utter another word. Because had I said anything else after that, it would have weakened the power of my statement.

You see, in that moment I fully owned my awesome. And there was nothing he could say or do to make that go away. I knew what I was bringing to the table, and I was determined to make dang certain that he knew it.

Driving away from that interview I felt a deep satisfaction that I had put everything out on the table and held nothing back. I couldn’t say whether I’d be offered the opportunity or not. Because as I said, I’d never experienced an interview like that. But deep down, I truly felt like I had interviewed as well as anyone with any amount of experience could have.

As Les Brown says, “I was hungry”. But more than that, I was not afraid to show that I knew who I was and the value that I could bring to their organization. And if he couldn’t see it, then it wasn’t an organization that I wanted to be a part of.

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering whether I got the offer or not. And the answer is yes. Yes, I did. And it totally and completely changed my life and the lives of my family in the years to come.

So what about you?

Do you know with absolute certainty the value that you would bring to any organization you choose to be part of? Because if you do, and you’re willing to openly acknowledge that you do, then THAT is the opposite of imposter syndrome.

And if not – Why Not?

I’d be willing to wager that you, like millions of others have been deceived into believing that it’s somehow wrong to Own Your Awesome.

If that’s the case, I will leave you with this.

Look at your right thumb print.

Did you know there never has been, there isn't now, and there never will be another person on this earth that has the same thumbprint as you. And that means that you're an original. You're one-of-a-kind. You're totally unique. And what you need to understand is that what you have to offer is like no-one else.

Every day you are putting a thumbprint on the world that only you can put on the world. It's absolutely unique to you.

Your thumbprint makes all the difference in the world.

What you do matters.

What you do is important.

You are a unique and special individual. And as I said before, there never has been, there isn't now, and there never will be another person with your thumbprint.

Always be willing to acknowledge how unique and special you are and the value you bring to those you choose to serve.

In short - "Own Your Awesome!!!"