Overwhelmed with Negative Vampires?

Overwhelmed with Negative Vampires?

3 Steps to Choose Your Friends Wisely


Recently, I worked with a client who was feeling overwhelemd with NEGATIVE VAMPIRES!?This Halloween, I thought it would be an interesting topic to share my thoughts.

The people you choose to spend your time with have a profound impact on your life. You may have heard the expression radiators and drains; those people that give off a lovely warm energy and those that suck the life blood out of you, like vampires.

Whether family, friends, colleagues or even your coach, these relationships shape your values, your beliefs, your personal growth and therefore your experiences and can have a positive or negative impact on your journey through life.


1. YOUR FAMILY

Your family members are often the first and longest relationships. They shape your early experiences and are the foundation of your identity. Being with family can bring a sense of belonging, support, and unconditional love. It still amazes me how values and beliefs are passed down generations in the same way, yet two people with the same upbringing may adopt these values differently and express them differently in their behaviour. When those behaviours are misaligned with yours, you may feel that you love the person because they are a family member but don’t like them much. This can create an internal conflict for you about spending time with them.

2. YOUR FRIENDS

Your friends are like the family you choose; the people who share your interests, passions, joys, and sorrows. Those friends often reflect your aspirations and inspire you to grow, and this makes life more enjoyable. There will be some friends who you know are always there even if you have not spoken for a long time and there are some that will fulfil a role for you (and them) and then the friendship will wane. I am sure we all know some people that were once friends, but their growth path has been different and therefore the friendship has dwindled and yet you still try to hold onto that friendship.

3. YOUR COLLEAGUES

Your colleagues are also important as they can influence your career and your personal and professional growth. Colleagues can offer support, mentoring and opportunities to work together. Strong relationship with co-workers can lead to a more fulfilling and successful work life. There will also be those colleagues that you find it more difficult to relate to and can be frustrating and feel a challenge. However, if you can change your mindset to think of them as a valuable part of the team because they bring a different perspective, you may learn something new and this can also lead to your personal growth.

4. YOUR COACH

Your coach and mentor can play a pivotal role in your personal and professional development. Your coach may offer challenge to your thinking and emotional support or provide a more practical guidance, knowledge and wisdom.? Whichever, your coach or mentor will help you to navigate life’s pathways and make better decisions. They can also open your eyes and mind to new ideas, new opportunities that you may not have found on your own and accelerate your growth by giving you the belief in your ability to achieve what you thought was out of reach.

5. THE HIDDEN INFLUENCE

There are also those many people you meet every day that you do not know and may not be aware of the wider impact they have. The grumpy driver who makes a rude sign to you or the jolly check-out lady who says they like your jumper - they all have an impact on your day. It can often be casual acquaintances that can provide you with a new perspective and influence your thinking in unexpected ways.

6. YOURSELF?

Amidst all these external relationships, the most important connection is the relationship with yourself! Time alone and your self-care are vital for mental wellbeing and to recharge. It also gives space for self-reflection and self-awareness which are essential skills for your personal growth. This gives time and space to learn about your own needs, motivators and desires and helps to create a stronger sense of self.



In summary, those you spend your time with are not just people in your life but are the connections that shape your experiences.

To check if these are the right people, ask yourself these 3 questions:

  1. What do I want from my various connections? Is it love and support? A challenge to grow? Some inspiration to achieve more? Or perhaps all of these…or something else?
  2. Who is contributing to those things and who is not?
  3. How much time am I spending with those that contribute and those that don't and is the balance right?


It is important to recognise the significance of your connections and actively nurture them. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting, and supportive individuals who support your growth and happiness. Choose your companions wisely because they are the architects of your life journey.

If you are ready for a coach to help you design your life journey, message me now and let me be YOUR Catalyst for Change!

I guarantee you will receive my enthusiasm and I will provide an inspiring, motivating, and empowering environment with a sense of fun.

I can help you gain CLARITY on what’s important, build CAPABILITY to overcome the challenges on the way and?increase CONFIDENCE to take the steps to just do it!

I’m Tracy and I’m more than just a coach, I’m Your Catalyst for Change!

Niki Duffy

Helping HR Directors Thrive in Their Careers by Breaking Free from Toxic Boss Syndrome | 1:1 Conscious Coaching | 12wks Transformation £1,500 | VIP Breakthrough Day £3,000 | NLP | Empowered Energetics | Mind Body Balance

1 年

Yes, the impact of the people around us really matters. Choose wisely.

Lynne Stainthorpe

Make your brand human, so your business stands out, gets noticed, attracts clients and grows affinity. We’ll develop your values-based brand strategy, brand messaging and brand personality. ? Intuitive Brand Strategist

1 年

Those 3 questions are invaluable - because our circle of friends provide different levels of support in different ways. And it helps to be clear about this - and our role for others too.

Jacqui Frost ?? LeadershipFortyThree

Helping dedicated leaders achieve greater resilience by unlocking their solutions to overwhelm. 1:1 Coaching Packages from £750 I Team Development starts from £745 per person l Resilience Retreats from £199

1 年

So true!

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