Overthinking is Stopping you Belly Laugh

Happy Friday everyone,

Has your week flown by??

I feel like it’s only Wednesday, but then again I’ve felt like the first half of 2024 happened in a blink of an eye.

So today we are talking about overthinking - it has been everywhere this week. The amount of overthinking going on in Love Island the last couple of days has been insane.

Social proof that we all do it.

First up this week.??

I have a really busy life, running a business I love, I am happy in my marriage and have the most kind supportive family and friends. But I had a situation with some friends about 6 months ago which has left me feeling like I have done something wrong.?

And I cannot stop thinking about it night and day. It’s become a big issue of mine, I wish it wasn’t in my head, I wish I didn't think about it. I wish I didn’t care about it.? I wish I could just only think about the lovely people in my life.

Isn't it unbelievable how, even when life is good and you're grateful for what you have, your mind sometimes fixates on the one small thing that didn't go perfectly?

Unfortunately, our thoughts are there to keep us safe, not necessarily to make us happy.

Without diving into a full coaching session—which I’d love to do if you want more details—here’s a quick approach for handling this situation:

Be brave and ask for some time to talk with your friends, explaining that you have something important to discuss.

Approach the meeting with no specific expectations about the outcome, focusing instead on clearly communicating your feelings and how the situation affected you.

After the conversation, you’ll have a better understanding of your relationship with these friends. If you feel seen, heard, and considered, it's likely that your overthinking will diminish and you can all move forward.

However, if you feel just as bad or worse, and the situation hasn’t improved, it may be time to seek additional support.

Talk it through with someone who isn’t emotionally invested in your friends. If this hasn’t helped in the past six months, consider speaking with a coach or therapist.

In the meantime use diversion techniques to break the cycle of overthinking, which often occur during quieter moments.?

• Listen to your favourite podcasts
• Watch your favourite show - something you can get completely immersed in.?
• Call a friend - the one?who always makes you laugh.
• Sing along to music (you can’t sing and overthink at the same time).

The more time you can divert your thoughts from overthinking the topic, the less stress you will create in the body which will improve your sleep.

I hope this helps.

How do you go about stopping the downward spiral of negative thinking once it has a hold on you?

Good question - No quick fix solution.? It takes practice, it happens to all of us, no one is immune.??

So having the tools and using them regularly will stop negative thinking taking a hold.

• Firstly you have to start recognising it is happening.? We can get so used to having it going on that we don’t even notice.??
• Once you have started noticing the thoughts.??
• Sit and pause, a few deep breaths, ask yourself what started it??
• Write it down (journal)?
• Few deep breaths, close eyes ask yourself “How do I feel in the body?”??

There's the loop -? your thoughts make you feel a certain way,? that feeling creates more thoughts. And round you go.

• Once you recognise a negative thought pattern, ask yourself if it is rational. Look for evidence that supports or refutes it.
• Try to find a more balanced or positive perspective. For example, instead of thinking "I always fail," consider "I have faced challenges, but I have also succeeded many times."
• Exercise can help reduce stress and improve mood. Activities like walking, yoga, or any form of exercise can be beneficial. Which will have an impact on how often negative thought patterns occur.
• Sharing your thoughts and feelings with friends and family can provide new perspectives.

If these strategies do not support you enough to move through the negative thoughts.?

Adding in some professional support when necessary can effectively reduce the hold and help you build a personalised tool box to learn how to manage negative thoughts for yourself.

Let me know if these tools help by replying to this email, DM me and keep an eye out for reminders on Instagram stories to share your questions .

I look forward to more of your questions for next week!

All of your questions will remain anonymous to my readers, so ask away!

Have a fantastic weekend!

?