Overthinking our purpose

The mind games we play with ourselves are endless.

Dr. Daniel Amen named them, ANTS = automatic negative thoughts.

Specifically, he named 9 different types of ants and how our mind, plays these overthinking ideas on us.

Through my study, my research, and my experience, I believe we overthink our purpose.

Ikigai is a great model to find our purpose.

Everyone knows what they like to do on a daily basis, however, there is a fine line between what we like to do in life vs the vehicle that will allow us to do those things and get paid for it.

Let’s not get stuck in the business structure and analytics, let’s keep it all about mindset.

Friedrich Nietzsche quoted:

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how”

What did you understand when you read this?

For me, it triggered the instant idea of “why to live”?

when I pause and look around me and see all of the things I have, and I have accomplished, I’m filled with gratitude and a sense of peace.

It was never always this way, I was an egotistical pain in the arse w that need to have it all, and everything NEW all the time. Newest shoes, newest sunglasses, newest school pencils, newest computer games, and I made sure everyone knew about it.

As I sat and thought about this deeper… this example came mind...

When we are faced with an obstacle, and the outcome is life-threatening, or life-changing we definitely see achieving an outcome. We start with the end in mind and the why and the what ruminate naturally, and the How becomes a set of steps that lead from one thing to another.

The world bends to your commitment, alignment, focus, and determination.

However, when the outcome is so out of our control, our mind starts playing tricks on us.

Here’s an example. If you had an extended work holiday without pay… and you only $10k in the bank and work would ring you when to come back… (uncontrolled outcome)

The first few weeks would be extremely enjoyable, possibly a sleep-in, no schedule, very few responsibilities, and the bare minimum to life itself.

How long do you think it would take till you got bored and started to struggle to find a daily purpose??

Work continues to call to say, a few weeks you can return, no specific date, however, we’ll call you…

About 3 months pass and work keeps saying the same thing, although they guarantee your job is safe just awaiting a few business updates and new business contracts.

Is your hope still at a high, or would you start to struggle day by day?

Even though daily you’ve done what you enjoy and still have fun, but your funds are very tight… etc.

We start to doubt our daily actions, we can even fall into bad unhealthy habits, like self-sabotage and doubt, or even start to separate ourselves from what we used to enjoy or people we once spent time with purely because we feel down and unworthy.

When we have an abundance of freedom that has been given to us, we struggle.

We understand freedom due to having struggles, and when we are given the freedom we start to wish upon some struggle. Our mind plays tricks on us, some people actually create issues just to continue to feel the pleasure of freedom.

We need Pain to feel Pleasure.

Ralph Waldo Emerson quoted: “the purpose of life is not to be happy, it is to be useful, to be honourable, to be compassionate, to have it made some difference, that you have lived and lived well.”

We overthink!

Use this in the context of the above example. The extended work holiday.

The purpose is to enjoy freedom, the purpose is to be grateful for the opportunity that work has given us, to be useful in different areas of life and daily activities while you on an extended holiday.

What else can you think of???

Happiness is a trait and it falls into the emotional umbrella of enjoyment.

Happiness is momentary… and it must be practiced like a muscle.

Brené Brown mentions in her book: Atlas of the heart.

“The near enemy of love is attachment”

I believe we attached so much unnecessary meaning to our purpose.

Those meanings are backed by evidence that grows on a daily basis, and these hinder our ability to live a fulfilling life. Whether on holiday regardless for how long.

Back to our story, the money your workplace calls after 4 months and says guess you start back on Monday and we’ve got exciting news.

We would bound up out of bed with a newfound spring in our step, and get our clothes ready. The shoes are polished and possibly even turn up

Monday morning early.

Why? the thought of hope maybe, about the new exciting news? or the fact that we start to imagine what’s possible? back in alignment and committed to being again… the truth attachment of what work means to me!

I believe overthinking our purpose in life and what we attach to that, can be dangerous to the love of life itself.

-Pjero Mardesic