Overcoming Your Fear Of Leaving Everything Behind To Move Abroad

“The new American dream might be living overseas.” ~ Monmouth University (2024)

According to a 2024 study by Monmouth University, "34 percent of US citizens would move abroad if they had the means."

Some Americans dream of grand adventures and trying cuisines from different corners of the globe—perhaps even moving to foreign countries or traveling the world.

But fear often holds us back while cloaking itself in a mask of practicality and responsibility. This article is about understanding our fears and finding ways to navigate them. It's about realizing that?the things we prioritize today are either anchoring us to our current lives or propelling us toward the lives of our dreams.

You are not alone, so here are common ways our fears show up. Also, read the crucial tips for overcoming your mental (and practical) barriers to living your dream life of traveling or moving abroad and becoming an expat.

And as you read this article, add your thoughts in the comments.

Ways Our Fears Show Up

1. Procrastination

Procrastination isn't laziness or poor time management; it's often fear in disguise—fear of failure, fear of the unknown, or even fear of success. The project we left undone, the emails unreturned, and the plans constantly pushed to tomorrow are signs of fear whispering that it's safer to stand in place than to move forward.

?2. Pessimism

Unknowingly, we often use pessimism to mask fear. Viewing new opportunities through a pessimistic lens can be a defense mechanism to avoid potential disappointment or failure. When we think, "Why bother? It won't work out anyway," we might be scared of what happens if it does.

3. Overplanning

While being organized is typically a positive trait, overplanning can sometimes be our way of avoiding taking action. Some of us spend excessive time overplanning every detail. This approach is our way of delaying starting a project or making a change, driven by our fear of encountering unexpected challenges or failing.

4. Perfectionism

This habit is a common disguise for fear, particularly the fear of judgment or not being good enough. When we practice perfectionism, we often only complete or share tasks if they meet standards we can't attain consistently. This practice significantly hinders progress and our personal growth.

“The things we prioritize today are either anchoring us to our current lives or propelling us toward the lives of our dreams.”

5. Defensiveness

When we fear criticism or failure, we might become overly defensive. This behavior can manifest as an inability to accept feedback, reluctance to try new things, or even aggression in communication. It's a protective mechanism to guard against perceived threats to our self-esteem.

6. Avoidance

Similar to procrastination but broader, avoidance can include dodging specific tasks, situations, or decisions that cause anxiety. For example, we might avoid career advancement opportunities because we fear we're not capable enough or fear the increased responsibility.

7. Control?Issues

Fear can lead us to seek control over everything in our environment. This need for control can stem from our fear of the unknown or that things will go wrong if we aren't overly controlling. This approach can limit flexibility and openness to embracing new experiences.

8. Indecision

Frequently, fear manifests as difficulty making decisions. We might oscillate between options, seeking constant reassurance or avoiding decisions altogether because we fear making the wrong choice.

??♀? Which of the eight did you most identify with?

Ways We Mask Our Fears

1. I don't want to be far from my adult children

As children grow and build their own lives, it's natural to want to hold them close. Yet, clinging too tightly can prevent you and them from fully living your own lives. Setting an example by pursuing your dreams can be a powerful lesson in independence and courage.

“Setting an example by pursuing your dreams can be a powerful lesson in independence and courage.”

?2. I've never done that

We frequently use this excuse for delaying pursuing new opportunities or changes, such as moving abroad or starting a business. It stems from a fear of inadequacy or failure. While gaining experience is valid, using it as an excuse can create a perpetual waiting game.

3. Now is not the right?time

Timing is a frequent concern, but waiting for the "perfect" moment can be an endless cycle. The "it's not the right time" excuse is a common excuse for justifying staying in comfortable, familiar situations due to fear of disruption, change, or the effort required to adapt to new circumstances.

4. I have elderly parents to care?for

This situation undoubtedly is a significant cause for pause. One approach to working through this challenge is researching support systems in our current location and the desired new one. Sometimes, better care options abroad or more affordable living situations can enhance our ability to support our aging parents.

5. It's too?risky

Whether changing careers, moving to a new city, or starting a relationship, risk is often invoked as a reason to avoid taking steps toward what we truly desire. While risks are real, this excuse can cover the fear of leaving our comfort zone or failure.

"34 percent of US citizens would move abroad if they had the means." ~ Monmouth University (2024)

6. I don't have enough money saved?up

Financial security is a legitimate concern. However, we can use this excuse indefinitely to avoid making any significant life changes. It often masks fears related to uncertainty, lack of control, or failure.

7. I need to stay close to my?family

Being emotionally close to family is valid and honorable, but sometimes, this is our most convenient shield against pursuing personal dreams. If moving abroad or traveling more is a dream, we can consider how technology can keep us connected with our loved ones or how we might schedule extended visits home.

8. I have too many other things going on right?now

Life is undoubtedly busy, but this excuse can be a convenient way for us to avoid prioritizing dreams or goals we find intimidating. It reflects a fear of not being able to cope with additional challenges.

9. I might?fail

The fear of failure is perhaps the most direct excuse, but admitting it openly can be challenging. We often cover this fear up with various other excuses to avoid confronting the fact that the potential for failure is what truly holds us back.

“‘What if I fall?’ Oh but my darling, What if you fly?” ~ Erin Hanson

??♀? So, which of the nine sounds most familiar to you?

Ways To?Conquer Your Fears?

1. Education and Preparation

Our fear of the unknown decreases when we arm ourselves with knowledge. If we dream of moving abroad, we can start with in-depth research of potential destinations. We can learn about the culture, legal requirements, and living conditions. Preparation builds confidence.

“Preparation builds confidence.” ~ Marcia Unbound

Here's a handy tip! If you're considering moving abroad, start by subscribing to newsletters from expat communities, reading blogs (like this one) , or watching YouTube channels dedicated to moving abroad or expat life in your intended country.

For education, websites like InterNations or Expat.com offer real-life stories and practical advice on various countries.

??♀? Try This: Get help working through the practical steps of your move abroad. Get your copy of this comprehensive 130+ page move-abroad guide and planner (The Escape Plan.) It walks you through the logistics details you want to consider and the actions you need to take. Websites like Coursera or Udemy offer courses that can prepare you for cultural shifts and administrative necessities.

2. Build a Support?Network

Connect with others like me who have made similar transitions. Numerous online forums and social media groups are dedicated to expats and global travelers. Hearing others' success stories and challenges can inspire and provide practical advice.

Here's a handy tip! Consider joining Facebook groups for expats. Search with keywords such as "Expats in Portugal" or "Americans in Mexico City." Groups like this allow us to ask questions, share experiences, and connect with others who have navigated similar paths.

??♀? Try This: Attend local or virtual meetups through platforms like Meetup.com that connect you with individuals interested in travel or expat life.

3. Small Steps Lead to Big?Leaps

The steps to your dream life abroad or any other significant life change can all feel overwhelming, so begin with small, manageable steps. If you're considering moving abroad, start with short trips to your intended destination or begin learning the language. Each small success will make the next step easier.

“Begin with small, manageable steps.”

Here's a handy tip! If you plan to move to Spain, start by learning the language through apps like Duolingo or taking a Spanish cooking class to immerse yourself in the culture from home.

??♀? Try This: Plan a short vacation or exploratory trip to the area you're considering moving to. Here are some cost-saving tips to get you started. The trip can be a practical step toward experiencing life there firsthand.

4. Seek Professional Guidance

A counselor or coach can help you navigate your fears and develop a clear action plan. Their external perspective can provide insight and motivation to move forward.

Here's a handy tip! If fear of financial insecurity is a significant concern, consult a financial advisor specializing in expat finances. They can help you understand tax implications, savings plans, and how to secure your financial future abroad.

??♀? Try This: Find a mentor or coach with experience in the areas you're interested in. This person could be a business mentor if you're looking to start a business in a new country or a move-abroad coach to help with the research, decision, and planning process.

Push Forward

Ultimately, our lives are the sum of our choices and actions. Each decision to face our fears and step forward reshapes our path toward our desired future. It's not about ignoring our responsibilities or fears but managing them to align with our dreams.

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