Overcoming Work Challenges: Strategies for Success in Tough Situations

Handling colleagues or subordinates who do not want you as their peer or leader because they aspired to be in your position is undoubtedly one of the most challenging situations a professional can face. Whether this dynamic arises due to competition for a role, differing personal aspirations, or unresolved feelings of inadequacy or jealousy, it creates a complex web of emotions and potential conflicts that can undermine team cohesion, morale, and productivity.

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When you're in a leadership or peer role, and your team members or colleagues feel that you "took" the position they coveted, it can create friction. The challenge here isn't just about managing interpersonal relationships — it not about navigating a deep undercurrent of unmet expectations, unspoken frustration, and, at times, resentment.

When colleagues or subordinates harbour resentment or rivalry because they wanted your role, it can create

• Tension,
• Erode team cohesion, and
• Impact overall performance.

However, with the right approach, it’s possible to manage this dynamic constructively and foster a more positive, productive environment. Sharing some strategies which I think might be helpful to handle such a situation effectively:

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• Acknowledge the Situation and Address the Elephant in the Room

1. Recognise their feelings: If you are aware that some team members wanted your position, it is important to acknowledge their feelings in a respectful and empathetic manner. These feelings can range from disappointment to jealousy or frustration. It is normal for people to feel conflicted when someone else takes on a role they aspired to, especially if they feel overlooked or passed over.
2. Open the door for communication: Depending on your leadership style and the culture of your organisation, consider addressing the issue openly with the team. A direct, but tactful, conversation can clear the air. You do not need to confront individuals directly unless necessary, but expressing empathy and acknowledging that you understand how they might feel can go a long way.

Example:?

“I know some of you were hoping for the role I currently hold, and I understand how frustrating that can be. When you put in the effort and work toward your goals, it is tough when things do not go as planned. Your ambition to grow is something I truly respect.

I want to be clear: I deeply value each of you and the unique strengths you bring to the team. Your contributions matter, and your impact is essential to our success. Just because you are not in the role you envisioned right now doesn’t diminish your value.

I am here to support your growth, whether that means offering mentorship, helping you develop new skills, or providing opportunities to take on more responsibility. Let us talk about your career goals and how we can work together to help you achieve them. Leadership isn’t just about titles; it’s about growth and creating the right opportunities for everyone to succeed.

Together, we can create a supportive, collaborative environment where each of us can thrive. I am excited for what the future holds—for the team and for each of you.”

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• Set Clear Expectations and Reinforce Your Authority with Confidence

1. Clarify your leadership vision: It is essential to establish your authority from the outset by being clear about your leadership goals, vision, and what you expect from the team. Be transparent about how you intend to lead, and encourage collaboration. This is especially important when there is the potential for rivalry or resentment.
2. Lead with integrity and fairness: The more you demonstrate your competence and fairness in decision-making, the easier it will be for the team to respect your authority. Consistently follow through on commitments, hold everyone—including yourself—accountable, and demonstrate the values you expect from your subordinates.
3. Empower through involvement: When team members feel heard and involved, it can reduce any negative emotions about your leadership position. Ensure you are engaging your subordinates in decision-making and giving them opportunities for growth. You can defuse a lot of resentment by creating an inclusive atmosphere where everyone has a stake in the team’s success.

• Create Opportunities for Career Development

1. Encourage their professional growth: One of the key reasons subordinates may feel resentful is that they perceive a lack of opportunity for advancement. Acknowledge their aspirations and create a pathway for career development within the team. This can include offering mentorship, providing them with opportunities for new challenges, or helping them work on skills that align with their career goals.
2. Provide constructive feedback: Offer regular feedback and guidance on how they can improve or increase their chances of promotion in the future. Helping them see a clear path forward can ease frustration and turn their energy toward personal development, rather than competing with you.

Example:

“I understand you’re looking to move up in the organization, and I want to be a resource to help you get there. Let’s work together to identify areas where you can build your skills, and how we can align your goals with the team’s objectives moving forward.”

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• Build Trust and Credibility

1. Be approachable and transparent: It is important that your subordinates feel they can approach you with concerns, feedback, or ideas. Maintain open lines of communication and actively listen to their input. By doing so, you build trust and demonstrate that you’re not in the role to compete with them but to support the team’s success.
2. Maintain consistency: Avoid playing favourites or showing favouritism, as this can reinforce negative perceptions about your leadership. Be consistent in how you apply policies, recognise accomplishments, and make decisions. This will help to establish credibility and remove the basis for resentment.
3. Demonstrate emotional intelligence: A high degree of emotional intelligence (EQ) is crucial when dealing with conflicts arising from aspirations, jealousy, or rivalry. Recognise the emotions at play and manage them with empathy, calm, and tact. By managing emotions—both yours and others'—you can navigate difficult situations more effectively.

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• Encourage a Collaborative and Team-Centric Environment

1. Promote teamwork and shared goals: Emphasise that the success of the team is more important than individual ambitions. Foster an environment where the team works together toward common goals. Team-oriented goals can help shift the focus from individual positions to collective success. When subordinates see the benefit of collaboration, they may be less focused on individual power struggles.
2. Address competitiveness constructively: Healthy competition can be motivating, but if not managed well, it can lead to division and rivalry. Set the tone by framing competition as something that should lead to personal and team growth. Recognise and celebrate team accomplishments, not just individual achievements.
3. Celebrate each individual’s contributions: While you lead the team, make sure everyone feels valued. Recognise individual accomplishments in front of the team, creating an environment where every person’s contributions are acknowledged. This can help subordinates feel respected and reduce resentment toward you as their leader.

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• Provide Clarity Around the Leadership Decision

1. Help them understand why you were chosen: Sometimes, resentment stems from a lack of understanding of how leadership decisions were made. If appropriate, share the reasoning behind the decision to appoint you as the leader. This should be done tactfully and professionally, without undermining the capabilities of others who may have also aspired to the role.
2. Address concerns about fairness: If there were concerns about favouritism or biases in the selection process, it’s important to address them openly. Acknowledge the possibility of disappointment, but reassure the team that the decision was made in the best interest of the organisation and the team.

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• Manage Conflict Professionally

1. Address toxic behaviour early: If any team members begin to undermine your authority, gossip, or actively create division within the team, it’s essential to address this behaviour quickly. This could involve having private conversations with the individuals involved to understand their concerns and reinforce expectations for behaviour.
2. Provide a safe space for dialogue: Create an environment where subordinates feel they can express concerns or frustrations in a constructive manner. This can prevent resentment from festering. Consider one-on-one meetings to check in on how team members are feeling about the transition, their role, and the team dynamic.

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• Lead by Example and Stay Professional

1. Exhibit professionalism at all times: Your actions will speak louder than words. Maintain professionalism, integrity, and a strong work ethic, especially in challenging moments. Leading by example in both behaviour and performance can help shift focus away from personal grievances and toward team success.
2. Avoid getting defensive: If subordinates express resentment or frustration, it is important to listen without getting defensive. Acknowledge their emotions, respond thoughtfully, and maintain a focus on resolving the issue positively.

Managing colleagues or subordinates who feel resentful because they aspired to your role requires empathy, clear communication, and strong leadership. By acknowledging their feelings, fostering fairness, and focusing on their growth, you can turn this challenge into a growth opportunity for the entire team. Leading with integrity, trust, and collaboration not only addresses immediate concerns but also strengthens the team for future success.

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