Overcoming Setbacks: The Slap in the Face and How to Handle It

Have you ever felt like you've been hit in the face regarding a project or job that didn't go your way (i.e., a promotion, new role, ideas on a project)? I know I have, and let me tell you, it's not a fun feeling; it can be a horrible and disheartening feeling depending on how much work (and soul) you have put into something. But here's the thing: setbacks happen to everyone, and how we deal with them sets us apart.

In the following paragraphs, I will dive into overcoming a "slap in the face" regarding a project or job. I'll explore why setbacks happen, how to handle them, and why it's essential to keep pushing forward.?

I will also touch on the impact of bias and unconscious bias on setbacks.

Why Do Setbacks Happen?

Before diving into how to overcome setbacks, it's essential to understand why they happen in the first place. Here are a few reasons:

1. Lack of Experience: Sometimes setbacks happen because we need more experience. We may need to gain the skills or knowledge required to complete a project successfully. And that's okay! It's all part of the learning process.
2. Miscommunication: Setbacks can also occur due to miscommunication. There may have been a need for more explicit instructions given, or you needed to communicate your needs effectively. Either way, miscommunication can lead to mistakes.
3. External Factors: Setbacks can happen due to external factors outside our control. For example, a project deadline may have changed unexpectedly, or a team member may have gotten sick.
4. Bias and Unconscious Bias: Unfortunately, this is one I've been subjected to too often. Setbacks can also happen due to bias and unconscious bias. Suppose someone has biases or prejudices against you. In that case, they may be more likely to overlook your ideas or dismiss your contributions, leading to setbacks.

Regardless of why a setback occurred, it's important to remember that setbacks are a natural part of the process. No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes. The important thing is how we choose to react.

How to Handle Setbacks

So, how do we handle setbacks when they happen? Here are a few tips:

1. Take a Step Back: The first thing to do when you experience a setback is to take a step back. Take a deep breath, and give yourself space to process what happened. Only make decisions once you have calmed down; the worst thing is to make rash decisions or judgments.
2. Evaluate the Situation: Once you've calmed down, it's time to evaluate the situation. Take an objective look at the problem, and pinpoint what caused the setback. Would you happen to know what went wrong? Was it something you did, or was it something outside of your control?
3. Learn from Your Mistakes: The next step is to learn from your mistakes. Look at what happened as an opportunity to grow and improve. What could you have done differently? What did you learn from the experience? Use this setback as a chance to become better.
4. Don't Take It Personally: Just because something didn't go your way doesn't mean you're a failure. Remember, setbacks happen to everyone. It's how you choose to react that matters.
5. Keep Pushing Forward: The most important thing to do when you experience a setback is to keep pushing forward. That slap in the face may have been what you needed to head towards something even better. Don't let it hold you back or define you. Use it as fuel to drive you forward and keep working towards your goals.

Impact of Bias and Unconscious Bias on Setbacks

Unfortunately, bias and unconscious bias can have a significant impact on setbacks. Suppose someone has biases or prejudices against you. In that case, they may be more likely to overlook your ideas or dismiss your contributions, leading to setbacks. Additionally, unconscious biases can cause people to make assumptions about your abilities or potential, leading to setbacks.

So what can you do to combat bias and unconscious bias in the face of setbacks? The first step is to recognize that bias and unconscious bias exist. It's easy to overlook biases and assume that setbacks are solely due to a lack of experience or external factors. However, it's essential to be aware of biases so that you can address them.

One way to combat bias and unconscious bias is to seek out diverse perspectives actively—meaning seeking input from people with different backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives. Doing so, you can better understand potential biases and blind spots and work to address them.

Another way to combat bias is to educate yourself about unconscious bias. By educating yourself, you can become more conscious of your biases and work to overcome them. There are many resources available that can help you become more aware of unconscious biases and how they can impact decision-making.

Finally, it's important to advocate for yourself in the face of bias and unconscious bias. It can be challenging to do this, but it's important to remember that your contributions matter and that you have the right to be heard. Please speak up and assert yourself when your ideas or contributions are overlooked or dismissed or if credit is given to others.

In conclusion, setbacks are a natural part of any project or job. They can occur for various reasons, including lack of experience, miscommunication, external factors, and bias or unconscious bias. The key to overcoming setbacks is taking a step back, evaluating the situation, learning from mistakes, and pushing forward. By being aware of bias and unconscious bias, seeking out diverse perspectives, educating yourself, and advocating for yourself, you can work to combat bias and overcome setbacks.?

Remember, setbacks don't define you, but how you handle them does. I've had lots of setbacks throughout my life, even today. But I've stepped back, contemplated, talked to my trusted advisors, and figured out how to keep going.

So, keep pushing forward, and don't let setbacks hold you back from achieving your goals. And if I can help you, please let me know.