Overcoming Self-Sabotage by Embracing Your Ancestry

Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me. ― Zora Neale Hurston

In the May 27, 2024 article of Unleash Your Audacity one of the questions I asked you to contemplate was "What if you embraced your otherness?"

In this week's edition, I invite you to consider embracing otherness instead of using otherness as fuel for imposter syndrome.

• Your Otherness is Your Strength is a brief, but high energy memoir, about a Bronx Latina who wanted to be an actress and found that showing up for her ancestors was an important part of that journey.
• How to a Know a Person was an amazingly insightful view into the impact of really seeing another human being as a moral imperative. And ancestry was a framework toward this goal.
• Finally, I share additional resources (memoirs) where the authors embrace their otherness as a means toward fulfilling their goals.

Showing Up for Your Ancestors

In her 2023 memoir, Your Otherness is Your Strength: Wisdom from the Boogie Down Bronx, actress Andrea Navedo shares how understanding her ancestry was one of the tools that allowed her to overcome the negative self talk in her head when approaching opportunities. When I read the last chapter, entitled Embrace Your Otherness, I thought, OK, I am not the only one thinking this.

Pride in my ancestry helps me see that where I come from makes me, me. I owe so much to my heritage. I see today as an opportunity to pay homage to my Puerto Rican ancestors, to represent my strong, full of grit, courageous grandparents. I am proof that their sacrifices were worth it. - Andrea Navedo

I also read How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen, by David Brooks. One approach he recommended was the profound significance of understanding one's ancestry to truly see and understand others. This concept resonated deeply with Andrea Navedo's reflections, where she harnessed her ancestry to combat the inner-saboteur that often hinders personal and professional growth. I had no idea these two books would connect so deeply for me when I decided to read them. They seemed so different. But in truth, Brooks could have used Navedo's memoir as one of his case studies for the chapter on ancestry. He referenced Zora Neale Hurston, but the messages are the similar, albeit generations apart!

Ancestry as a Framework for Transforming Self-Sabotage

Life is an audacious moral journey.― David Brooks

Brooks emphasizes that knowing a person's background, their roots, and the stories that shape them is crucial in building genuine connections. He argues that by acknowledging and appreciating the diverse histories people bring with them, we can foster empathy and a deeper sense of community.

Navedo's journey is a testament to the power of embracing one's roots, not just being Puerto Rican but being from the Bronx. She was her own illuminator, a term Brooks used to describe those who see people for the individuals they are and who forego lazy labels that dehumanize others. I would argue that Navedo became her own illuminator. Instead of allowing her inner critic to diminish her worth, she drew strength from her upbringing and heritage and became her own hero.

The connection between Brooks' and Navedo's insights were a-ha moments, compelling frameworks for overcoming self-sabotage. By knowing and valuing our own histories, we not only see ourselves more clearly but we learn to silence the inner voices that question our abilities and worth. This self-awareness transforms the way we perceive our otherness—not as a flaw but as a unique strength that enriches our professional and personal lives.

The biggest battle we face is the battle inside of us...Be a positive influencer for the people in your lives. Show them what courage, boldness, excellence and bravery look like in your otherness...Take your otherness and use it to your advantage. - Andrea Navedo

As we navigate our careers, it's essential to recognize that our backgrounds are NOT obstacles. They are assets. Embracing our ancestry allows us to connect more authentically with others, fostering an environment where diversity is celebrated, and each individual's unique contributions are valued. This shift in perspective can transform our self-talk, enabling us to step into our full potential with confidence and audacity.

By intertwining Brooks' wisdom on the importance of knowing ancestry, with Navedo's empowering message of embracing one's roots, we can cultivate a more profound sense of self and community. This approach may help you combat self-sabotage and, you guessed it, unleash your audacity to achieve greatness. Let's celebrate our otherness as our greatest strength and use it to forge deeper connections.

Additional Resources

Here are some additional stories where the power of understanding one's ancestry becomes a foundational catalyst for navigating this journey we call life.

• David Brooks references Viola Davis' memoir, Finding Me, where she described the significant role of growing up black and in abject poverty in Rhode Island had on her outlook on life.
• Rosie Perez's memoir, Handbook for an Unpredictable Life, delved into her tumultuous childhood in a children's home run by physically abusive nuns. She described how the complexities of her dysfunctional family dynamics shaped her life and provided the inspiration for what she didn't want out of life.
• A memoir that fits well within this framework is Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates. In his book, Coates writes a letter to his teenage son, exploring the complexities of being Black in America and the importance of understanding one's heritage. Coates shared his personal history, the legacy of his ancestors, and how this understanding shaped his identity and worldview.
• Despite growing up in a community plagued by poverty and instability, J.D. Vance drew strength from the values instilled in him by his grandparents in Hillbilly Elegy. He explored his Appalachian roots and family values, crediting them as the foundation for his success and the tools he used to combat self doubt.
• Michelle Zauner's memoir, Crying in H Mart, shared a powerful exploration of Korean heritage. The author reflected on her cultural roots and her journey through grief and self-discovery, offering valuable insights into the power of embracing one's ancestry.

The number of case studies and examples are endless. Even Brooks, who described himself as an "infidel Jew" who no longer practices Kosher or attends synagogue, knows that he is a Jew to his core, where it counts - his values.