Overcoming Self-Sabotage: Break Free from Mental Barriers & Thrive

In 2023, there were 183,000 small businesses in New York City. Research indicates that about 50% of them will fail in the first five years. I believe that small businesses are the heart of what makes America great, and my work as a Vistage Chair is dedicated to helping them defy the odds. An important part of my job is seeking out and sharing best practices for businesses.

One of the most transformative tools I’ve found for personal and professional success is Positive Intelligence. To my surprise, I stumbled upon it during one of the most challenging times of my life.

Friday, March 13th, 2020. I woke up drenched in sweat, my shirt soaked. We’d all heard murmurs of a new virus, but that was the day The New York Times made it clear: this was real. The next day, the mayor declared a state of emergency, and the governor told us to stay home.

I was in the first wave of New Yorkers to be hit by COVID-19. For six weeks, I was bedridden, with zero energy and no sense of taste or smell. I slept most of each day. Meanwhile, 30% of my CEO members were in despair. Some ran restaurants, hotels, or event businesses; some sold to schools, and their businesses shut down completely.

I fell into a deep funk, worried about my family, my members, and the future. Then I noticed a book on my shelf—one I’d owned for a while but had never read. It was about change and how to reach your true potential.

I couldn’t do anything about public health and financial crises, but I could commit to learning and striving to perform at my best, no matter what. If there was ever a time that I needed to shift my mindset, it was at that moment.

My Journey

“Build your foundation of mental fitness by strengthening three critical mental muscles to shift the balance of power from your inner Saboteurs (your negative self) to your inner Sage (your positive self).” Shirzad Chamine

The book's premise and research fascinated me. I signed up for a six-week course, which changed my perspective completely. I learned about my inner saboteurs—the voices in our heads that hold us back—and a three-step process to quiet them.

At the end of the course, they offered a one-year coaching certification. I took it. A year later, I became the first Vistage Chair certified in Positive Intelligence coaching.

What Is Positive Intelligence?

In Positive Intelligence, saboteurs are the invisible mental habits and behaviors that subtly yet significantly sabotage our success. They are the internal voices or mental patterns that generate stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, and unhappiness. These saboteurs hijack your mind and prevent you from achieving your full potential for both success and happiness. They are rooted in your survival instincts and were developed in childhood to help you navigate challenging situations. Still, as you grow, they become counterproductive, sabotaging your performance, relationships, and well-being.

The master saboteur is the Judge, who constantly criticizes you, others, and circumstances. There are also nine accomplice saboteurs, including the Stickler, Pleaser, Hyper-Achiever, Victim, Restless, Stickler, Hyper-Rational, Hyper-Achiever, and Avoider.

Each saboteur has specific behaviors and thought patterns that undermine your ability to be your best.

Recognizing and weakening your saboteurs is the first step in increasing your Positive Intelligence Quotient (PQ), which is the measure of your mental fitness—the balance between your saboteurs and your sage, the positive and wise part of your mind.

What It Can Do

With over 20 years of experience as a CEO and a positive intelligence coach, I've seen firsthand how these mental saboteurs can undermine even the most capable leaders. Unchecked, these saboteurs can distort decision-making, diminish leadership effectiveness, and ultimately hinder the growth of the organization. By identifying and addressing these saboteurs, CEOs can foster a healthier work environment and drive their teams toward collective success.

"The real chokehold in business isn't a lack of skills — it's the PSYCHOLOGY of the leader. We all tell ourselves stories — excuses rooted in fear that prevent us from taking action or making decisions. These stories hold us back and keep us from breaking through to the next level."-- Tony Robbins

I introduced the six-week Positive Intelligence training to my CEOs, and here’s what, one of my Vistage CEO members, ANDREW W. SINGER said:

It was the single most important experience that has significantly impacted my personal and professional life.

New Series

My mission is to positively impact the world through leadership development. I have no doubt that this training has increased my capacity to achieve that mission. I so strongly believe in the importance of learning about our saboteurs that I am creating a series to help you understand what they are and mentor you through the limitations they create.

In this series, we will explore common statements made by CEOs that signal the presence of saboteurs. Each article will delve into a specific challenge, identify the saboteur behind it, and provide real-life examples and case studies. We will cover topics like:

• Criticizing others and ourselves,
• Distrust and reluctance to delegate,
• The fear of disappointing others,
• The mismanagement and/or avoidance of conflict,
• And more...

Through practical tips and exercises, I aim to guide you towards reclaiming control and fostering a positive, resilient mindset.

You’re Invited

Did you know that a staggering 70% of business leaders admit to facing regular bouts of self-doubt and stress? It doesn’t have to be that way! I invite you to join this journey of self-discovery and growth. Our first topic will tackle a common struggle that many CEOs share privately but rarely voice out loud,

“I battle with constantly ranking and judging everyone around me in all settings, all the time. I feel lonely."

Don’t miss out—follow my profile for updates and be the first to read each new article. Together, we can unmask these saboteurs and pave the way for greater success and fulfillment.

Thank You!

This newsletter is possible because of the engagement and support of readers like you. I deeply respect your time and trust and thank you for being here.nbsp; Here’s to continuing on this transformative journey and unlocking the true potential within us all!

Mark Taylor

Where Manhattan CEOs Go to Grow

Vistage International

Direct: 212.867.5849

www.marktaylor.nyc

Learn about the Power of Triads in my TEDx Talk