Overcoming Pride for a Me-Set

You can live well to lead well.

If you've heard me give a keynote or a workshop, you’ve probably heard me say that “you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” Those are words I’ve been living by ever since I had my me-set .

I’ve thought about that quote a lot lately as I’ve read all the coverage and commentary about Simone Biles’ decision to withdraw from Olympic competitions.

It would've been easy for her to give into peer pressure to compete.

But she chose herself first.

?It would have been easy for her to give into the fear of disappointing the Olympic Committee, her family, her friends. Or anxiety about possibly losing endorsements.

But “no” was a complete sentence for her. She chose herself first.

When we see Simone Biles, we see a life lived beautifully. But we also see someone in the midst of her own reset. In her own words:

?I have to put my pride aside. I have to do what's right for me and focus on my mental health and not jeopardize my health and well-being. That's why I decided to take a step back. -Simone Biles

?This quote is so powerful to me. When life loses its joy and ease, it's often because we've placed our pride, our ego or other people's desires for us ahead of our true desires. When we make other things more important than living our truth, that creates conflicts within our lives. It can also create a vacuum in which we never find happiness. Or it can put so much time on the clock that we never rest.

As we think about what lies ahead for each of us, I hope we all remember that we can do the courageous thing that Simone Biles did — something that still might not feel natural, but something that we should absolutely normalize. And that is simply putting ourselves, our mental health, our happiness, and our own priorities first.

So what do you do if you find yourself in a situation where you have to make such a courageous decision, or you need to focus on a me-set? I’ve found there are four essential steps:

?1. Breathe. Pause and breathe, no matter if you're at work or at a red light, or in bed before rising in the morning. Breathwork can help us restore ourselves in just a couple of seconds and to set intentions so that we can truly be present in the moment.

?2. Visualize. We have to visualize the path that lies ahead for us. Sometimes we might not know that path completely. But if we can at least start to visualize the path and the way that we want to head, things start to feel less confusing and more clear. And we can begin to prioritize. Hopefully, we prioritize ourselves first and then the other things that are needed for family, work, or others second.

?3. Attract. We have to attract the people and the energy that we want around us. Recently, I put a pink Buddha in my shower to remind me to refresh, renew and recharge before I take on that next task. And it's also an opportunity for me just to enjoy silence! I am attracting the energy that I want in that space that's become very sacred to me. I even have a little Buddha on my desk to remind me to take a break and walk or to breathe. There's always a way to be who we want to be while still tackling the work ahead of us every day. We should also try to attract people that bring that energy around us — people who can help us turn obstacles into opportunities and remind us that we are a part of something much bigger than ourselves. Find those people who remind you about your me-set and might even dance a little with you.

4. Transform. When we transform, we allow ourselves to grow or to change based on the task that's ahead. We might choose to use adaptive leadership, or another style of learning, that allows us to evolve. As we evolve, we begin to tackle problems differently. We become a sharper tool in our organization's toolbox.

I hope that Simone Biles’ story and these thoughts about it remind you not to set yourself on fire to keep others warm and to relentlessly prioritize what will allow you to live well, lead well and exercise your truth each and every day as you turn moments into movements.

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Copyright (c) 2021 Movement Maker. All rights reserved.

About the Author:?Terri Broussard Williams ?believes leaders, like you, have the energy to turn moments into movements. Follow Terri to learn how to live well, lead with your truth, and ignite the change you wish to see in the world. In just four decades on earth, Terri counts the following moments as movements that she’s been a part of, championed, or accepted as her own. Each has defined her as a leader.

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