Overcoming a Pitfall

A backache I have had since I was 13 was going to change the course of my life, is something that I had neither thought about nor anticipated. Stay with me as I take you on the course of my life over the last 4 months.

I have had a chronic sciatica problem since I was 13 when I fell off the roof landing on the floor below while playing (that's a story for another day of the antics I used to be up to).?

So, the beginning of April began with a bad back ache that lasted over a week and a standard annual medical review I had at work which threw up high blood pressure! The week wasn't going as planned!

The backache, which wasn't better, led me to meet a friend and orthopedic surgeon working at the same university hospital I was working at. She suggested a battery of tests plus an MRI and an X-ray of my lumbar spine. Great, I thought, more tests, more lab work!

My tests revealed my sugar levels were out of control, my blood pressure was also through the roof and other parameters weren't so hot either and I needed immediate intervention or I was going to end up in the hospital or worse, dead. Then, I went for my MRI which as anyone who has been through an MRI will explain, is like being in a noisy coffin that is not only making you feel claustrophobic but also like a bad sensory deprivation, torture chamber. I was brought out of the machine to very somber-looking faces and told, “You have a tumour!”?

A million thoughts began racing through my head, worst of all was how do I break this news to my family.I won't lie or tell a fib because being brave is one thing, having every parameter of your body on a high and then throwing a curveball in the mix had freaked me out. Completely freaked. I needed a spinal/ neurosurgeon to deal with the problem and quickly.?

I did, and long story short, within a week I had decided to have the surgery because the tumour had to be removed, since it was on my spine and was compressing it. Simple as that. I am not one for carrying baggage, and this was an unnecessary little ball which needed to be dealth with swiftly.?

I had my surgery which was successful with no untoward events except for perhaps puking in front of an entire team of doctors because of the meds, drip and just being overall sick (I would classify that as my mortifyingly embarrassing moment). I am on the mend, it's a long recovery period since it is my neck.?

But my experience taught me many many lessons and that's what this entire epic tale is about, right off the bat, here are a few learnings.?

Health First: I have spent 27-odd years in advertising, and of course, I'm very proud of it. I told people I can multitask, which I have since learnt is BS. Nothing is more important than your health. The adage “health is wealth” now makes more sense to me than ever. I have had my sugar go out of control before and I worked on bringing it back. Today when I'm over 50, firefighting doesn't seem like such a wise idea. I focus on mindful eating, maybe the 6 skittles i gobbled yesterday were pure greed, but I am aware sometimes I am going to slip and it's ok. I am focused on eating on time, healthy and taking better care of myself.?

Work for your passion and not just money: My work at a very large organisation brought unnecessary pressure and stress, why I say unnecessary because they were always on fixated on an old style of working with extreme micro-management and control when my experience and learnings throughout my career taught me differently and they wouldn't change, which lead to me being stressed constantly. Stressed to appease, stressed to communicate, to find my way, to make my place and it was endless and relentless. Ended up making me unwell and quite stealthily I might add. It's what created the high BP and sugar.?

Your passion will never stress you, feel like a burden or become the bane of your existence. If your passion can put food on the table, you’re in luck. Find ways of making that happen.

Respect is a give and take: the need for survival is not what feeds the heart and soul, sure it might feed your stomach and put food on the table, but in the long run, it eats away at your core. Respect yourself enough to know your worth, respect others for what they bring to the table, respect them for their knowledge, their expertise and their experience. Command the same for yourself. If they don't see it, or if they don't value it, they never will. Earn your place not just by being part of a system for the longest time, but because you must truly earn your place. Be where you are valued and respected and if you are in a position of power or supervisory role, be kind and respectful of people.?

Work is a part of your life, not your entire existence: because of my line of work, I hardly ever spent time with my kids. They grew up with a Sunday mum. In pursuit of my career and survival, I took away what was most important, my bonding time with them. Yes, they turned out to be beautiful people who are my best friends, but it took a lot of hard work at a time to build this relationship with teenagers and now adults. Your work does not define you, your relationships do. Every moment of your life is valuable, every single moment. Ask those people who lost loved ones in a sudden accident or sickness or even sudden death. I lost many friends like this and they were all around my age. A close friend's wife said “At least I kissed him before I left” because soon after she left for work, he lay down and never woke up.?

Nothing worth your mental health: the most recognised phrase is “it's ok to not be ok”. If you feel low, recognise it. If you're having a panic or anxiety attack, recognise it and take a breath. Because remember your emotional well-being is of utmost importance and anything that takes away from it, is just not worth the trouble.?

I had a colleague where I worked, someone who revels in talking about other people and it was never positive. Listening to her endless rants about others was exhausting for me. Her thinking didn't align with mine.?

I have spent a lot of time, meditating, journaling, in therapy and on medication to allow my association with this person to take away what I had worked so hard for - emotional regulation and a sense of peace within myself. I had to build a picket fence for me to know my boundaries because she didn't know hers.?

It was ok for me to shut her out and keep her out. And we will meet people like this everywhere, sometimes even in our own families.?

Knowing what's right for you, is a personal choice, make it while you still can.

Very few of us will go down in the pages of history, we will only be names in the family tree and maybe photos in an old album. How you add value to your life and those around you, is how you will be remembered forever, of course for maybe two generations after you.?

The point of this article/ post is not to depress you, but to wake you up to the reality that you are not forever, your body is not forever, it's a machine and machines also need downtime. Take time to:

Breathe

Absorb your surroundings?

Laugh to your heart's content?

Love with all of yourself?

Meditate

Sleep soundly?

Listen to music you love?

Paint?

Sing

Read?

Listen to the sound of rain, thunder

Feel the breeze?

Hug your loved ones

And most importantly - forgive

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