Overcoming Pessimistic Thinking

Optimists have been proven to be happier, healthier, more productive and more successful than pessimists. The good news is that optimism is a skill – you can learn how to be more optimistic. Below you will see how to use the ABC Technique to develop a more optimistic outlook.

ABC stands for: Adversity. Beliefs. Consequences.

In short, we encounter Adversity. How we think about this creates Beliefs. These beliefs then influence what we do next, so they become Consequences.

Here's an example – you yell at your assistant because she forgot to print a key report before your meeting (Adversity). You then think, "I'm a really lousy boss" (Belief). You then perform poorly during your meeting because your self-confidence has plummeted (Consequences).

The key point occurs between adversity and belief. When you encounter adversity, how you tend to explain it to yourself directly impacts your mindset and your relationships.

There are three dimensions to your explanatory style:

1. Permanence

Pessimistic people unconsciously assume that the causes of bad events are permanent, while optimists believe that bad events are temporary.

For instance, imagine you had a bad day and had no time to help a colleague who needed your expertise. A pessimist might think, "I should never be friends with anyone at work because I'm a terrible friend." An optimist might think, "I was a terrible friend today."

The difference is subtle, but it really matters for your outlook!

2. Pervasiveness

Pessimists make universal statements about their lives when something goes badly, while optimists make specific statements.

For instance, a pessimist might think, "All my reports are useless." An optimist might think, "This report was useless."

Again, the difference is subtle. Pessimists take one negative event and allow it to turn their entire work, or life, into a catastrophe. Optimists recognize that they might have failed in one area, but they don't allow that failure to overwhelm other parts of their lives.

3. Personalization

When we experience a negative event, we have two ways to think about it. We can blame ourselves for the event (internalizing it) or we can blame something outside ourselves (externalizing it).

Pessimists often internalize blame. They think, "This is all my fault," or "I'm too dumb to do this job." Optimists have higher self-esteem because they tend to externalize blame, thinking, "This is all John's fault," or "I haven't learnt enough about this skill yet; that's why I'm not doing well at this task."

Note:

Remember – adversity doesn't always cause negative beliefs. This will depend on the event, and your explanatory style.

So, how can you reset your own ABC pattern?

Step 1: Track Your Inner Dialog

Begin by keeping a diary for several days. Your goal is to listen to your inner dialog, especially when you encounter a stressful or difficult situation.

For each situation, write down the adversity you experienced, the beliefs you formed after encountering the adversity, and the consequences of those beliefs.

Example

Adversity: A colleague criticized my product idea in front of the team during our weekly meeting.

Belief: She's right; it was a dumb idea. I don't have much of an imagination, and now the entire team can see how uncreative I am. I should never have spoken up!

Consequences: I felt stupid and didn't speak up for the rest of the meeting. I don't want to attend any of the other team meetings this week and have already made an excuse to avoid tomorrow's meeting.

Step 2: Analyse Results

Once you've written down several ABC situations, take a look at what you have found.

Here, you need to look for patterns in your thinking, specifically, how any broad beliefs have led to specific consequences.

To be optimistic, you need to change your beliefs following adversity. This, in turn, leads to more positive consequences.

Step 3: Use Distraction and Disputation

As you can see, the beliefs you develop after encountering adversity play a major role in your life and determine whether you're an optimistic or pessimistic thinker. This makes it important to manage negative ABC patterns.

There are two ways to override these: distraction and disputation.

Distraction

If you want to interrupt your negative thoughts, you need to distract yourself. Simply telling yourself "not to think negatively" isn't going to work: you need to interrupt the cycle.

To do this, try distracting yourself when you start creating negative beliefs.

For example, you could wear a rubber band around your wrist. After you've gone through a stressful situation, and when you begin to formulate negative thoughts and beliefs as a result, snap the rubber band against your skin. This physical sting will remind you to step out of the cycle of negative thinking.

Once you've interrupted your negative thoughts, you need to shift your attention somewhere else. Concentrate intently on something else for a minute.

Disputation

Although distraction is useful for interrupting negative thinking, a more permanent solution is to dispute them. Think of Disputation as a "D" after ABC.

To dispute your negative thoughts and beliefs, youargue with yourself rationally. In particular, you look for the mistaken assumptions about your explanatory style that we talked about earlier.

We'll use the previous example to illustrate this technique, below.

Adversity: A colleague criticized my product idea in front of the team during our weekly meeting.

Belief: She's right; it was a dumb idea. I don't have much of an imagination, and now the entire team can see how uncreative I am. I should never have spoken up!

Consequences: I felt stupid and didn't speak up for the rest of the meeting. I don't want to attend any of the other team meetings this week, and have already made an excuse to avoid tomorrow's meeting.

Disputation: I'm blowing this out of proportion. My colleague had every right to criticize my idea; it was nothing personal, and her critique was spot on. She even commended my creative thinking once the meeting was over. All I need to do is think my ideas through a bit better next time.

Tip 1:

You can also add an "E" for "Energization" to the letters A, B, C and D. This is where you take time to think about the positive feelings, behaviours, and actions that could or do follow from having a more optimistic outlook.

Key Points

The ABC Technique is based on our explanatory style. That is, how we explain difficult or stressful situations to ourselves, across dimensions of permanence, pervasiveness and personalization. These thoughts directly impact what we believe about the event, ourselves, and the world at large.

The Technique pushes you to analyse three aspects of a situation: Adversity. Beliefs. Consequences.

Whenever you encounter adversity you develop thoughts and beliefs about the situation. This, in turn, leads to consequences.

To be optimistic, you must change what you believe about yourself, and the situation, when you encounter adversity. Positive beliefs will, in turn, lead to more positive consequences, and a more positive outlook.