Overcoming Perfectionism

As a child, you had natural talent, and you passed all your exams and received A’s. Your parents and friends, teachers and bosses praised you for your success and perfect results. You were not praised for effort, or encouraged when you made mistakes.

Perhaps you were chastised and lectured if you did not receive A.

Overtime this has shown to you that success and praise only comes if you perform perfectly and in the shortest amount of time. Which is logically not possible when you are learning something new. Being a learner involves making mistakes and being guided by someone who is experienced and skilled in this area. You need to ask for help. If you have a fixed mindset and have acquired a perfectionistic approach to new tasks, then you will start to feel anxious and avoidant. This inner self-talk screaming inside your mind, others will be disappointed, or laugh at me, or realise I am an imposter and that I am not that smart.

The fear of being seen as a failure is strong and the public shame involved is painful. Ego comes in saying, I should not have to learn something new here, and the self-defence, projecting blame outwards. Ego wants to protect your self-image. You may get enraged and blame others and the system, rather than try to learn the new way. Why are they introducing something new or different to the way it has always been done, the way that keeps me the expert.

It will take courage to have a go in front of others, who may witness the failure or your limitations. Embarrassment, Shame, loss of status. With a fixed mindset you cannot imagine that others could be kinder and more understanding of the fact it can take time to learn something new. That they will not think anything less of you. Lawyers traditionally develop a fixed mindset throughout their training and practice, which can lead to being overly risk-averse, perfectionistic, and fearing failure. Professionals who adopt a growth mindset can better adapt to disruption and change by seeing it as an opportunity to gain experience.

Fixed mindset – Perfectionism and Procrastination go hand in hand. Intrinsic value can come from reframing difficulties or being an adult learner into a new belief: ?When I persevere even when something is difficult, if I keep practicing, I know my brain is growing new neurons and firing up neural pathways, that overtime will mean that I am improving, I am able to learn this new skill or task.?

Having a Growth Mindset means that you have hope for the future, I am getting better at this. Instead of always being perfect today, right now (fixed mindset) and if I cannot be perfect then I will not try this at all. Choose the belief: I am in the process of learning. The power of “Yet” I am not aware of that YET. There is optimism and openness toward the future. Always in the process of learning and acquiring new learning from applying effort perseverance and asking for help from others who are experienced at this activity, or skill. Mentors are important, transformational leaders help you to grow. Find mentors who are transformational leaders. Put in the effort even if it feels hard and know that your perseverance and effort with pay off with improvements over time. You have got this!?

Tuesday 18th July, 2023 Buzzwords Growth Mindset - Panel discussion