Overcoming Money Trauma: A Personal Story of Growth

The Unexpected Shopping Dilemma

Last week, I was on the hunt for an outfit for my first speaking engagement in March. My original custom suit was delayed, and I had to scramble to find an alternative. I carefully chose a day that would allow me ample time to shop without feeling rushed.

My first stop was the CIBC ATM to withdraw cash for my makeup artist and hairdresser. Then, I headed to Dome Mall. Unfortunately, I didn’t find anything I liked, and the store was awaiting new stock. A friend recommended a store at Lanterns, so I made my way there. After struggling to find parking, I settled for KFC’s parking lot.

The Declined Card Incident

I entered the first store on my list and, although I didn’t find outfits for both occasions, I found an outfit I loved. I tried it on and confidently used my CIBC card to purchase it—transaction successful.

Then, I proceeded to another store. After trying multiple options, I finally found the perfect outfit, one that was outside of my comfort zone but fit the exact vision my friend had spoken over me. Excited, I went to pay with my card. Declined. I tried again. Declined. A third attempt—same result.

"In that moment, I had a choice: let shame and embarrassment take over or remind myself that financial setbacks do not define me."

I knew money was available on my card, so I collected the transaction slips. Sometimes, transactions decline, but funds still get deducted. Not wanting to delay my shopping, I used the withdrawn cash to make the purchase.

I then moved on to a shoe store, and once again, my card was declined. At this point, I reached out to a friend who works at the bank. We ran through several possibilities while I decided to use my credit card instead.

The Aha Moment

Later that night, I was still unsure why my card had been declining. On my way home, I stopped at Chefette and attempted another transaction. This time, the cashier revealed the error message: “Too many PIN attempts.”

"Clarity changes everything. Once I understood the issue, the fear of the unknown disappeared."

Finally, I had my answer! None of the previous machines had given me any indication of this, but now I knew what had happened. I was able to reset my PIN using the CIBC app and planned to test a transaction later.

Growth Over Fear

To know me is to know that I am transparent about my financial walk, because there is a powerful lesson in my experiences.

The Marcia of years past would have crumbled at the sound of the word declined. I would have felt a knot in my stomach, overwhelmed by shame and embarrassment. But today, I know better.

"Financial literacy isn’t just about numbers—it’s about breaking free from emotional ties to money that no longer serve us."

Thanks to my banking experience, I understand that transaction failures can happen for many reasons. More importantly, I have become a good steward of my finances, and I am financially prudent. The fact that I had multiple payment options and was able to navigate the situation without fear or shame is a testament to my growth.

How Money Trauma Holds You Back

Money trauma is the emotional distress and negative behavioural patterns that develop from past financial experiences—whether it’s growing up in financial instability, facing debt, or experiencing financial loss.

It can be a silent but powerful force that dictates how we respond to financial challenges. If left unchecked, it can lead to:

?? Shame—Feeling unworthy because of financial setbacks.

?? Fear—Avoiding financial discussions or decisions.

?? Embarrassment—Feeling judged when faced with financial difficulties.

?? Guilt—Believing that past money mistakes define your future.

"You are not your past financial mistakes. You have the power to rewrite your money story."

But here’s the good news: you can break free. You do not have to live under the weight of past financial struggles.

Take Control of Your Financial Story

If you've ever felt trapped by financial anxiety, let’s change that. Book a 60-minute financial coaching session with me today and take your first step toward financial confidence!

?? Schedule your session here: https://calendly.com/marciaarmstrong/financial-consult

"Your financial future isn’t written in stone—it’s written by you. Take the next step."

Let’s ensure that your finances serve you, not the other way around.

#MoneyTrauma #FinancialFreedom #FinancialLiteracy #Budgeting #WealthBuilding #SmartMoneyMoves