Overcoming Impostor Syndrome, Embracing Humble Confidence, and the Power of the Hardest Phrase in the English Language

Does it ever seem like everyone else around you has it “all together?” You might have thought, “I hope they don’t find out I’m just making this up!” Well, what if we are all making it up as we go? What if feeling this way is actually just a natural symptom of growth??

Kris Kelso, the author of Overcoming the Imposter, shared some true wisdom this week on the Leadership After Hours podcast. I loved his takes on overcoming Imposter Syndrome and his definition of Humble Confidence. I also saw on his website that he helps people say the hardest three words in the English language, so I had to find out more. You should definitely check out the whole episode, but my three biggest takeaways are:

Tackling Impostor Syndrome

Many people suffer from impostor syndrome. It is marked by self-doubt and a dismissal of one's accomplishments. This happens to people regardless of their success or position. Kris sees it as a common barrier to personal growth. People belittle their achievements and fear being exposed as frauds. This syndrome is common among leaders and aspiring professionals. Despite evidence of their capabilities, they feel undeserving of their roles or accolades. Kelso emphasizes, "The key to defeating impostor syndrome is admitting that learning and growing through mistakes and uncertainties is a shared human experience." It's not a personal flaw.

From Proud Insecurity to Humble Confidence

The journey from a state of proud insecurity—where one's external show of confidence masks deep-seated self-doubt—to one of humble confidence is both challenging and rewarding. Kris illustrates this change as embracing one's vulnerabilities. But, it also involves keeping faith in one's ability to learn and adapt. Humble confidence lets people admit their limits. It helps them see limits as strengths. It fosters a space where growth comes from curiosity, open-mindedness, and the pursuit of knowledge. It's not driven by fear of failure. Your people don’t expect you to be perfect, but they do expect you to be honest. People are attracted to authenticity, not arrogance.?

The Challenge of Saying "I Don't Know"

Perhaps the three hardest words to say in the English language are "I don't know." This admission is often seen as a sign of weakness or incompetence. But, Kelso argues that admitting gaps in knowledge is a strength. It paves the way for real learning and collaboration. Admitting what we don't know opens us to others' insights. It encourages dialogue and creates chances for group problem-solving. This approach enhances our understanding and builds trust and respect within teams and organizations.

Implications for Leaders

The insights discussed by Kelso have profound implications for leadership. They suggest true leadership is not about having all the answers but navigating uncertainties with grace, fostering a culture of learning and growth, and empowering others by showing vulnerability. Leaders who embrace these principles can drive change. They do so not only in themselves but also in their organizations. This sets the stage for lasting success and innovation.