Overcoming Guilt and Regret

Guilt & Regret: Two similar feelings that can send you down the lanes of unwanted stress and self-hate. Both these feelings get unavoidable in certain situations and can get into your mind to uproot your mental peace. It becomes really important to know the right way out of these feelings.

Although these feelings seem similar, they are not. The major reason why they seem similar is because of the reason of origin, past events that did not go the way you wanted them to.

Now let’s look at how they are different,

Regret is described as a feeling of sadness or disappointment over something that one has done or failed to do, for example, if I decide to sell some shares, and the price goes up by margins the very next day, I will feel sad about selling the stocks. This feeling of sadness is called regret.

Whereas Guilt is defined as the self-hating repentance over a specified offence or crime or something that is morally or ethically wrong, for example, if I have a heated argument with my partner and I end up abusing them, I will feel bad about it. This bad feeling can be referred to as guilt.

Regret includes the feelings of self improvement, which makes you think about the wrong decisions you took and how you would never go wrong if you got another chance, for example, If I forget to turn over my question paper and leave the questions given on other side, I’ll regret my mistake, but I’ll make sure that I never commit the same mistake again.

But guilt carries a feeling of hating yourself or blaming yourself. It includes more of repentance than scope for improvement, for example, If there is some misunderstanding between me and my friend, and I decide to block him from social media and never meet him/her physically and I later discover that my friend wasn’t at fault, I’ll feel guilty about it and there will be a feeling of self hate as to why I did so?

Now when we’ve understood the definitions and differences, let’s take a deep dive into the methods of overcoming Regret & Guilt.

1)?Acceptance: The very first step to move on from any kind of feeling is Acceptance. If you repent or feel sad about something that happened in the past, it is when you know you’re experiencing either or both of these feelings. You need to accept the fact that something happened in the past and now it can not be undone, you need to let go of your mistakes.

2)?Forgive/Apologize: If it is the case of regret and you think you’ve made a wrong decision, try to forgive yourself for the mistake you’ve done.

If it is the case of guilt where you feel sad for doing something bad to someone, try to apologize for your mistake.

3) Self Talk: The process of talking to yourself is called Self Talk. There are broadly two types of Self Talk namely Positive Self Talk and Negative Self Talk.

Positive Self Talk can be a powerful way to overcome guilt and regret. Positive Self Talk includes talking to yourself gently and nicely, not putting yourself at blame, accepting yourself as a worthy person even if you made a mistake. It helps you understand your value and hence defying the negative effect of these feelings.

4)?Find Positivity: Surround yourself with things or tasks that impart you mental peace. Try to avoid thoughts that invade your mental serenity. Find some hobbies or productive habits to avoid being surrounded by such thoughts. Staying positive automatically cuts off the negative feelings and their impact.

5)?Therapy: If you are unable to control your feelings by yourself and you get stuck in an infinite loop of thoughts that end up making you feel undeserving of happiness, consider Therapy/Counselling as an option. When nothing works, counselling does. If neither of the above methods nor anything else gives you positive results, do not hesitate in visiting an expert.

If you are a student at Thapar University, TICC is always available for your mental well being. If you find it difficult to overcome such feelings or any other feeling that harms you, do not hesitate from sharing them with us.

Guilt and Regret are just two feelings that could mess up your mental peace and put you into thoughts of self-doubt. They are nothing but just a bubble of sadness due to past events which can be overcome. Remember that your mental health should be your priority and any such feeling that tries to invade your peace should be got rid of, for your well being.

Any sort of feeling that makes you sad can be moved on from. Nothing stays there in your head permanently.

Stay Happy and Mentally Well.