Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

What’s the majority of people’s greatest fear? Dying comes to mind.?

Nope.?

It’s public speaking. Some people would literally rather die than speak in front of others. Up to 75% of the population have this fear of speaking, oddly called, “Glossophibia”. I’ll gloss over the details and get right to it:?

Dad jokes aside...

You must find a way to get over the fear.?

Speaking in public is one of the skills that top performers excel at, and it’s one that takes some practice.?

Like many out there, I was riddled with anxiety about speaking. Knowing I had to find a way to break through, I did what any logical person would do—I became a wedding DJ. Well, I guess what any maniac would do is more like it.?

Being a wedding DJ (yes, I was spinning CDs) was the perfect way to get comfortable by being uncomfortable. I remember the first “Grand Entrance” I did, where you introduce the wedding party to include the bride and groom. I spoke to the party, phonetically spelled out names, and then proceeded back into the venue hall, where 120 guests awaited.

Then, I did the thing that makes the anxiety swell like tsunami—I looked at the audience.?

I froze, unable to speak for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, I sputtered the first name out—butchering it of course.?

Over time, things got easier. I found little tricks that I could use when I felt that weird, uneasy feeling we feel when speaking in front of crowds. Notably, I found a way to take “me” out of the equation:?

“I don’t like being in the spotlight”?

“I hate it when I’m being watched”?

"I can't have people looking at me"

These statements built up my DNA-driven anxiety, putting me in a defensive posture, kind of like being frozen when you lock eyes with a predator in the wild. Instead, I had to tell myself that I’m here for them and making eye contact is facing the fear, ultimately leading me to a more comfortable feeling once the words begin to leave my mouth.?

Facing the dreaded eye contact prevents you from purposely separating yourself from the audience. This manifests through staring at your slides or looking down often.

Beginning with eye contact disarms everyone, leaving you with the ability to focus on serving your audience.?

Once you made the leap from “omg, I can’t do this” to “I’m here for my audience”, you can lean into a few other key points in being an effective public speaker. These 4 tips are a culmination of over 200 weddings, a handful of keynote speeches and two decades of instructing other, and I hope they help you as well:?

1. Stories are powerful. The emotional connection you earn by telling a great story disarms your audience and allows you to break the proverbial ice. If all else fails, just tell an awesome story.?
2. Make complex thing’s beautiful and simple. I may have said this in a previous edition of “Finding Your Peak”, but it’s worthy of another mention. When you are speaking to an audience and the purpose is informational in nature, learn how to say less so you can convey more. Simple and to the point equals effective. ?
3. The power of the pause. If you’re anything like me, you can find yourself rushing through material when speaking. As if commas and periods are no longer a living species in the English language, you speed right through. Try to add in some nice, long pauses and watch how fast you reel in the attention of your crowd. Nothing is more powerful than the pause.?
4. Be authentically you. When you are speaking publicly, you always want to try and understand who your audience is, but more importantly, you can’t change who you are to suit them. It will come off as forced and obvious. Just be you. No one can be you so own it and let them get to know how awesome you are during this time together. Even if it bombs, at least you can hold your head up high knowing you were authentic.?

Public speaking isn’t easy, but it is a skill that must be learned through repetition if you want to be successful (in most professions anyway). Whether you decide to be like the wedding singer or you just practice in front of the mirror, make public speaking a part of your journey and reap the benefits of a larger network and less anxiety.?

Your friend,?

Aj?